i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)

mandynicholson · April 2011

So my husband's ex girlfriend (from like middle school) is getting married tomorrow evening to his (DH's) partner. They've been partners since they started on the force together and they've been friends since high school. Anyway, the woman hates me and today I got an email about numerous things, but she insulted my kids...outright calling them bastards because DH and I weren't married when we had Taylor and I was pregnant with Cameron when we got married. So we did things a little "backwards"...whatever. That email was after I sent her one to ask if there was any last minute things she needed that I could maybe help her with (just trying to be friendly). IMO, she's a little on the crazy side and I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. Neither one of my kids were bastards or mistakes. They weren't exactly planned, but sh!t happens and I would never give up either one of them. Then she goes on to say that we deserved Taylor's death because she was conceived before I was married. So I just said, "I'm not sure why you hate me, but do NOT bring my children into it. Taylor and Cameron are the joys of my life and Taylor DIDN'T die because she was born before I was married. She died because of someone's stupid mistake of drinking and driving." Then she sends me an email back saying that I'm a bad mom because I'm going to her wedding and I'm "not leaving my son with a responsible adult like she is PROVIDING." Mind you, my son is 6 months old, and a preemie...my 12 year old neighbor wanted to babysit him and she's extremely mature for her age. She's babysat him before and she knows his schedule by heart, so Joe and I are letting her babysit with the help of her mom. So tell me why I would drive my son to 2.5 hours away for a wedding and leave him in the hands of someone I don't know at all, when I have my neighbor and her mother coming over to babysit him. I could just scream....Joe walked in the door a little bit ago and I told him what was going on. He said I didn't have to go if I didn't want to....but if I didn't, I feel like it'd just add fuel to the fire, and I wouldn't let Joe go alone.

I don't do this without a cause, but I just needed some unbiased people to listen, so thank you. I'm done b!tching....and I'm going to go see what Joe wants for dinner

cardmonsta · April 2011

I would have killed her. You have every right to be upset. She is clearly a horrible, malicious person.

I would have forwarded the entire email to her fiance. But I'm spiteful.

I'm so sorry that this woman is treating you this way - she has absolutely no right to speak to you like that.

ETA: Also, I would not be attending that wedding. What does your H think of this? Is he really going to support this wedding knowing that she said this about your daughter?

ricksang · April 2011

Your daughter died? AWWW sorry

sherrbearr22 · April 2011

Wow she sounds like a giant cvnt. And I reserve that word for the worst of the worst. If anyone ever said something like that to me it would get physical. I'm literally so mad for you right now.

I feel bad for her FI. He should know what a giant biitch he's going to have to live with.

azdancer8 · April 2011

She sounds like a truly terrible person. I'm so sorry she said such cruel things to you and about your daughter.

LesPaul · April 2011

Wow. She's a real piece of work, isn't she? I'd say the best way to go is to be cordial to her, and just let her stew in her ridiculous hatred. There is no reason for her to say such hateful things to you (other than jealousy and outright mean-ness). You have a good babysitting plan in place - stick with it. Go to the wedding and smile, knowing you are above her BS.

And I'm so sorry for your loss, Mandy. I can't imagine losing one of my daughters.

kimmieniesink · April 2011

I can't believe someone still thinks that talking about others and their children like this is acceptable. Some people suck at life, and she is one of them.
You should trip and fall and spill red wine on her dress. Childish? Yes. Will it make you feel better? Yes.

But all kidding aside, it is not acceptable for someone to talk so maliciously towards you when all you did was offer her assistance. She sucks.

vegasgroom · April 2011

So you sent her an email asking if you could help her with anything for her wedding and her reply said she's glad your kid died? Something isn't adding up....

misscyndikalene · April 2011

What she did was horrible and wrong. She has no reason to say those things at all. I would stop talking to her all together because a person like that does not deserve anyones time or effort. You can still choose to go to the wedding, but obviously this woman isnt going anywhere if she is marrying your H's partner. You need to remove yourself from any situation with her because you dont deserve to be treated that way. Dont tell her your plans, dont tell her about your kids, dont even respond to her emails. It isnt worth it. IMO If I were in your H's shoes, I would show the partner what evil things his future wife is saying.

alicialovestre · April 2011

I'm very sorry about your daughter.

Obviously this chick has major issues. (Being a HUGE cvnt one of them). I'd be pissed as well, so I don't think you're out of line at all. It's very kind of you to still attend the wedding. I for one wouldn't be able to.

vegasgroom · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:2b367314-32ff-4a09-811b-7d410831bf67">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE] He should know what a giant biitch he's going to have to live with.
Posted by sherrbearr22[/QUOTE]

If that conversation is all on the up and up, I'd have no qualms about forwarding it to the woman's FI; one would have to be pretty stupid to marry someone capable of saying something like that, but even someone that stupid doesn't deserve that woman so perhaps he doesn't know her real side.

ricksang · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:055caab0-a016-4052-b0b7-79866e10f320">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]So you sent her an email asking if you could help her with anything for her wedding and her reply said she's glad your kid died? Something isn't adding up....
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

I agree with this. Part of the story is missing. I know people can be looney toons sometimes but to fly off the handle like that is just odd.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

Ditto PPs. Also, why the hell are you going to this wedding? No way in hell would I show any form of support to a woman who said that to me. I don't care if it was my freakin brother, if he was marrying a woman like that I'd still flat-out refuse. I'd also tell the FI what she said and let him know exactly why I was keeping my ass at home.

I'm surprised your H still wants to go too. Partners or not, there is no excuse for being treated like that.

brilibby4 · April 2011

I wouldn't be attending the wedding after the bride insulted me like that. To be honest, if she was saying things like that I'm sure she doesn't really want you there either. I'm sorry!

Steph0871 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:055caab0-a016-4052-b0b7-79866e10f320">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]So you sent her an email asking if you could help her with anything for her wedding and her reply said she's glad your kid died? Something isn't adding up....
Posted by vegasgroom[/QUOTE]

<div>mmmHMMM. I'm thinking we're missing part of the story here.</div><div>
</div><div>I mean, regardless the soon-to-be bride sounds like a raging bitch, but still.</div>

Steph0871 · April 2011

woah, spike. Resize the sig picture, please.

sherrbearr22 · April 2011

I agree with VegasGroom on both accounts. a) I think it's odd that you asked if she needed help, pure and simple, and she insulted you as a result. I feel like something is missing.

b) I think it's entirely possible that she can be a nasty asshoole and her FI not know which he should.

BUT no matter what OP said, that woman had no right to say what she said about the child OP lost. That's beyond low.

ricksang · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:a76935fe-01f6-4840-a69d-76537767dc4e">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't be attending the wedding after the bride insulted me like that. To be honest, if she was saying things like that I'm sure she doesn't really want you there either. I'm sorry!
Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]

Fo sho' !

mandynicholson · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:f1fb0482-986d-4e08-9c02-c8e11fa208e9">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long) : I agree with this. Part of the story is missing. I know people can be looney toons sometimes but to fly off the handle like that is just odd.
Posted by ricksang[/QUOTE]
No no no....I asked if she needed anything and she flew off the handle in general. First it was about me, then it was about Joe, then it was about Joe and I, then it went into our moving into an "upscale" neighborhood and ENDED with her calling my kids bastards. She's just an angry person. If you knew her, you'd understand better.

sherrbearr22 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:98ac5ee5-6fd5-4f75-a3fa-a8280e78b49f">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long) : No no no....I asked if she needed anything and she flew off the handle in general. First it was about me, then it was about Joe, then it was about Joe and I, then it went into our moving into an "upscale" neighborhood and ENDED with her calling my kids bastards. She's just an angry person. If you knew her, you'd understand better.
Posted by mandynicholson[/QUOTE]

Wow, she doesn't sound bitter or jealous at all, does she!?

ricksang · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:98ac5ee5-6fd5-4f75-a3fa-a8280e78b49f">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long) : No no no....I asked if she needed anything and she flew off the handle in general. First it was about me, then it was about Joe, then it was about Joe and I, then it went into our moving into an "upscale" neighborhood and ENDED with her calling my kids bastards. She's just an angry person. If you knew her, you'd understand better.
Posted by mandynicholson[/QUOTE]

Then I wouldn't go to the wedding. Seriously, why grace her with your presence? Why is your H still going? I know that guy is his friend but she said some really messed up crap to you. Unacceptable.

brilibby4 · April 2011

FYI, it definitely isn't necessary to mention she is your husband's ex girlfriend if it was in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I was rereading your OP and find it really weird that you included that.

Blueyed228 · April 2011

Im still stuck on why you asked her if she needs any help.

Do her and your H have any kids together? Or is there some other tie there that you are not telling us about?

mandynicholson · April 2011

Well when I walked up to find out what Joe wanted to do for dinner the door was closed and locked. He's talking pretty loud, but it sounds like he isn't in the bedroom (maybe on the balcony). It's hard to say...guess I'll find out in a minute..

mandynicholson · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_just-need-vent-second-kinda-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:acbbfb5c-7d8b-45ba-9516-720d69f5a292Post:af0117a1-08a8-47ac-9cbb-265255263e9a">Re: i just need to vent for a second (kinda long)</a>:
[QUOTE]FYI, it definitely isn't necessary to mention she is your husband's ex girlfriend if it was in MIDDLE SCHOOL. I was rereading your OP and find it really weird that you included that.
Posted by brilibby4[/QUOTE]
They were together for 2 years and then when I started dating him (second half of freshman year)...she got angry and has hated me on and off ever since.

Blueyed228 · April 2011

Mandy- out of curiosity, how old are you?

pixiedust84 · April 2011

Hopefully Joe is telling his friend you both will not be attending the wedding. I absolutely wouldn't go. Regardless of any missing back story in my book it is just unacceptable to say a child deserved to die. So it doesn't matter how it started - that statement alone would make me not go and never speak to her again.

mandynicholson · April 2011

24.

jess0906 · April 2011

I really hope he was filling his partner in on what a bitch his FI is and also letting him know that neither of you will attend the wedding. There is never a reason to tell someone their child deserved to die.

I am so sorry for your loss.

undyingmizery · April 2011

I am going to have to agree with Vegas here.. It's not adding up to me. You make a Happy birthday thread yesterday to her. Today you talk about someone saying you deserved to lose your child. The next time someone saw me face to face after a comment like that they would most likely be losing their jaw.

I am very familiar with a support group that deals with the loss of a child and someone close to me lost her 17 year old son. I must say after hearing someone say something like that you are doing alot better than 97% of other mothers would be......