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Not Sure What to Say...

vettechgirlvettechgirl member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My fiance's family has gifted us about $9,000 for our wedding, plus they will pay for the rehearsal dinner out of their pocket.

My dad already thinks we are spending WAY too much money (he thinks we should have done a courthouse wedding 4 years ago), but did make the comment, "Well, what do you want me to pay for?"

I know they are on a tight budget. At the time I said, "Well, I think right now just the dress, but I'm not really sure." My wedding isn't until June of 2012. I want to have my ceremony and reception venues booked by October, but I'm taking a break for a little while after that. There's only so much you can do when things are this far out.

I'm just not sure what to tell him. He wants me to give him a budget for my dress, but I haven't even started looking yet! I really don't know what to say or do.

Suggestions?
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Re: Not Sure What to Say...

  • Lenore2010Lenore2010 member
    1000 Comments
    Give him a price range for the dress-but I would seriously think about paying for it yourself. You have a lot of time to get the money together for that. Even if they offered, I would hesitate to bring your dad into it financially because he is not supportive of the kind of wedding you want and is probably offering out of a sense of obligation to his daughter.
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
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    Well, how much do you feel comfortable with?  I mean, it seems pretty reasonable to know, at this point, how much you think you should spend.  Perhaps you should just say, "How about $200" and then save that for alterations, and pay for the dress yourself.  Otherwise, do like Lenore suggested and just leave it alone.  I would not have been comfortable taking money from either set of parents to pay for the wedding.  At the end of the day, PIL gave us quite a sum, but we really didn't want it as they are retired and in poor health.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
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    I would just  be honest and say that since the wedding is so far out, you really just don't know right now what your expenses will be and it would be easier if he just wants to tell you a set amount and be done with it.  And be grateful no matter what the amount is, don't compare it to what your FI's parents gave, in fact if you haven't already, don't even tell your Dad how much they gave.
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  • JenO24JenO24 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited July 2010
    June 2012 is a long time away.  Simply let him know that its too far out for you to have a good ball park # of how much the dress would be...suggest revisiting the idea in X amount of months as it gets closer...say a year away instead of 2, something like that.
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