Confession thursday

fishinflagrl · August 2012

Alright, I jumped the gun yesterday...but today is the day...lets her your confessions ladies.

achiduck · August 2012

I posted mine in the accidental board so I figured I'd add it again here...

I confess that I'm pretty pissed at one of my BMs who happens to be my FSIL. I 100% understand that all my BMs have lives and I have not asked them to attend a single appointment, address an invite or do ANYTHING to help with planning. I let them pick their own dresses, shoes and jewellery and am paying for their hair and makeup. She pretty much begged to be a BM and is always texting me telling me how excited she is to be in the wedding and for the wedding, blah blah blah but can't seem to get it together.

The 2 times I've needed my BMs all together I've picked days that worked for every single person yet she always plans additional stuff which means she has to rush off. When we went BM dress shopping everyone agreed on a date, time and that we would all go have lunch together afterwards but she left after 30 minutes in the store to go ice fishing with her BF's friends. When I planned a "get to know you" outing to Niagara on the Lake for a wine tasting and lunch we ended up having to rush back b/c she had to go camping with her BFs friends again.

She offered to help plan the shower with the rest of my BMs and my SM but on Monday when they were all scheduled to meet up and plan it she never showed up. This was AFTER they had to change the time b/c she couldn't possibly get out of bed before noon (Monday was a holiday in Canada). MOH1 who lives 3 hours away showed up, MOH 2 who lives 90 minutes away showed up, BM1 who is a single mom and had to find child care showed up and SM who is dealing with a mom who is moving into a retirement home and her fathers passing showed up. But FSIL? She just "forgot" and then sent me a "OMG don't be mad at me text" Seriously??

She has texted me to ask where her BF will be seated and can I please not seat him with her Dad since they don't know each other very well. Um, I don't have all my RSVPs yet so I don't know where anyone is sitting yet. She also asked that my shower not be on a certain weekend b/c it was her 2 year anniversary and the WHOLE weekend had to be about her and her BF. Um, seriously? And she wanted to know what kind of flowers she'd be carrying like a week after we got engaged. I didn't even have a date or venue at that point!

I know that only job of a BM is to buy the dress and show up sober and clean, but seriously? She asked to be a BM, she offered to help throw the shower and she can't even commit 2 hours for dress shopping/lunch and an afternoon for a wine tasting? FI has always said she's had a selfish streak but I never imagined it would be like this.

/end rant/confession.

achiduck · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_confession-thursday-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:8464803f-5907-4430-9f6b-0ee91abeeb27Post:060cd785-7cb2-48e6-badf-3d6496073f99">Re: Confession thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]I posted mine in the accidental board so I figured I'd add it again here... I confess that I'm pretty pissed at one of my BMs who happens to be my FSIL. I 100% understand that all my BMs have lives and I have not asked them to attend a single appointment, address an invite or do ANYTHING to help with planning. I let them pick their own dresses, shoes and jewellery and am paying for their hair and makeup. She pretty much begged to be a BM and is always texting me telling me how excited she is to be in the wedding and for the wedding, blah blah blah but can't seem to get it together.

The 2 times I've needed my BMs all together I've picked days that worked for every single person yet she always plans additional stuff which means she has to rush off. When we went BM dress shopping everyone agreed on a date, time and that we would all go have lunch together afterwards but she left after 30 minutes in the store to go ice fishing with her BF's friends. When I planned a "get to know you" outing to Niagara on the Lake for a wine tasting and lunch we ended up having to rush back b/c she had to go camping with her BFs friends again.

She offered to help plan the shower with the rest of my BMs and my SM but on Monday when they were all scheduled to meet up and plan it she never showed up. This was AFTER they had to change the time b/c she couldn't possibly get out of bed before noon (Monday was a holiday in Canada). MOH1 who lives 3 hours away showed up, MOH 2 who lives 90 minutes away showed up, BM1 who is a single mom and had to find child care showed up and SM who is dealing with a mom who is moving into a retirement home and her fathers passing showed up. But FSIL? She just "forgot" and then sent me a "OMG don't be mad at me text" Seriously??

She has texted me to ask where her BF will be seated and can I please not seat him with her Dad since they don't know each other very well. Um, I don't have all my RSVPs yet so I don't know where anyone is sitting yet. She also asked that my shower not be on a certain weekend b/c it was her 2 year anniversary and the WHOLE weekend had to be about her and her BF. Um, seriously? And she wanted to know what kind of flowers she'd be carrying like a week after we got engaged. I didn't even have a date or venue at that point!

I know that only job of a BM is to buy the dress and show up sober and clean, but seriously? She asked to be a BM, she offered to help throw the shower and she can't even commit 2 hours for dress shopping/lunch and an afternoon for a wine tasting? FI has always said she's had a selfish streak but I never imagined it would be like this. /end rant/confession.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

Quoted/added paragraphs so it's acutally readable. Darn TK.

lehc723 · August 2012

I confess that I've had it up to here with a family member of mine who's in my wedding party, without giving too many details. My bachelorette is this weekend and she knew for a questionably long time (she told me a week ago, my MOH two weeks ago, and MOH and I suspect she knew about a month before that), and is claiming she's doing a lot of work for my shower when it's not true.

tamrahelmer · August 2012

I confess I'm somewhat scared about my shower this weekend. It is for FI's side of the family, and I have only met his extended family twice. My MOH and BM can't come with because they are out of town, so I'm all on my own. I keep telling myself it won't be bad and its worth it because there will be presents! lol

KittennDave · August 2012

I confess that I'm seriously bummed about not having my hair and makeup lined up for my wedding yet. It's the one thing that I want so badly to look good because I never go and get these done for anything, so it's really important to me.

I also confess I'm finally starting to lose my patience with some things, like FI work calling him at 7:30pm last night and he had to work from home until midnight to fix something, I will try to be better, but things are hard.

achiduck · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_confession-thursday-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:8464803f-5907-4430-9f6b-0ee91abeeb27Post:120786f4-5ad2-43e3-b3a3-b8f13301d6db">Re: Confession thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]I confess that I'm seriously bummed about not having my hair and makeup lined up for my wedding yet. It's the one thing that I want so badly to look good because I never go and get these done for anything, so it's really important to me. <strong>I also confess I'm finally starting to lose my patience with some things, like FI work calling him at 7:30pm last night and he had to work from home until midnight to fix something, I will try to be better, but things are hard.
</strong>Posted by KittennDave[/QUOTE]

I would be annoyed about this too.

ericaandtom2012 · August 2012

I confess that I'm annoyed and embarrassed with my FMIL and mother's shower invitations (she sent one to me for some reason, which is annoying by itself). It is not at all what I would have made (I like simple things and concise wording; she likes lots of clip-art and extraneous words. I was hoping that my sisters would be able to prevent her from making them ridiculous, but clearly I was wrong. I also confess that I'm worried about her making the shower awkward/embarrassing with whatever activities she decides to plan (she's never been to one and all of the ideas I've heard through the grapevine sound over the top and somewhat similar to child's bday party things). I would never vocalize any of this to my mother, I know everything she's doing is from a place of love.

I confess I am still procrastinating on addressing my invitations... definitely running out of time for that.

reagane02 · August 2012

I confess as grateful as I am that my FILs have helped so much with this wedding, I'm tired of FMIL telling me via FI that I need to ask my family to contribute. It causes mini arguments with FI and I when I have to defend my parents and he defends his.

From the beginning I told them my family were not in a place to help financially with the wedding. So FI and I started planning a very small wedding that we could afford on our own. FMIL is the one who offered to foot nearly half the bill to add upgrades and more stuff. Like I said, I am very grateful and I have worked very hard to still keep costs down. But its rude to ask my parents, if they could help they would have offered by now. If there are things that we cannot afford, then in my opinion we don't need them, or if we do, then we can cut back elsewhere to allow it in our budget. Problem solved.

LDubHawksFan · August 2012

I confess that I've gotten more relaxed as I'm closer to sending out the invites. Before I had tried figuring out titles for everyone and the whole "the man's name should never be separated from his last name".....well I got half way through printing my envelopes last night and realized I forgot about that "rule" and had already decided about addressing them to Mr. & Mrs. haha Oh well! I'm just ready to get them out.

Another confession is that we are still on the fence about some people on our guest list, so while we aren't doing a B list, a second set of invites might go out next week if we decide to extend our guest list. We had about 20 more that we were considering before, and now FI likes number that we are at (a probable 100 ppl), which although I agree that it will be wonderful, a part of me wants to invite some more people our age/friends. We are paying so much for the DJ, I want ppl dancing! (pretty ridiculous, huh?!)

lv2011 · August 2012

I confess that lately I'm getting really nervous about getting married. But only because this is my second and the first was a disaster. I have no doubts about FI at all. I just have this fear that there's something about me that'll make this fail, too. I know it's ridiculous. I do. It's just this tiny annoying thought, nagging me from some deep recess of my brain. I just have to get over it.

AEPerpete · August 2012

I confess that I am getting tired of having so much attention on me, and having my life revolve around this wedding. I have done the majority of planning/ work needed to be done, and I am working on invitations today to get them ready, and I know it's not going to die down...it'll only increase now.I also confess that I liked the attention a lot at first...so I brought this on myself.

amandaorgan · August 2012

I confess that I am a little annoyed at FI. My mom and his mom are equally contributing to the wedding (very very thankful for them). I know that besides a few deposits, FI's mom hasn't paid down any of the vendor balances. LIke literally, the only thing paid off is my dress (my mom paid). My mom is sending payment for the photgrapher and then she is paying for the reception, so she can't pay that yet anyway til there is a total head count.

She keeps asking me if there is anything she can help with, and as I am a complete control freak, I let her know that I have it under control, but she can probably start making some payments to the vendors so we don't have to worry about it so close to the big day. We have had this exact conversation 3 different times. seriously, 3, withing like 2 weeks of each other.

I feel so guilty for getting upset about this because of her generous offer to help, but I thought that she would be able to manage writing checks and sending them on her own without me having to walk her through every step of the way. Have I mentioned that she can't figure out how to work her email? But she spends all day on FB....

Anyway, the reason I am annoyed at FI is bc I have decided that this is on him now, as she is his mother. I have talked to him about it and he said "not my problem" ??????? What? I know that I have kind of taken over wedding planning, but this is your wedidng, too buddy and she is your mom! I know he was half-kididng, but that also means he was kinds serious.

I know this is kind of an irrational annoyance, but I keep having these visions of getting harassed on my wedding day bc something wasn't paid, or worse some vendor not showing up bc they didnt receive payment. UGH.

jessiflower · August 2012

I CONFESS: I'm a tad bit annoyed that after all the flower making, FI just told me yesterday that the flowers I made for the bouteniers, he doesn't like....I have been making flowers since January...I ran out of two of the colors because I'm making excellent progress and now he tells me....which is fine, but the ones that he does like, I don't have anymore paper to make those...so I have to start over again on the bouteniers....whatever...no big deal, I just wish he was completely open about how he felt before now....and I'm confessing that I'm stressed about money...we dont have anymore money for the wedding but theres still all these things that need to be purchased...also...I don't think anyone is going to throw me a shower and this depresses me....I'm not sure we are going to have the jack and jill batchelor/batchelorette party or not, and thats fine...we expressed the desire to have a joint party rather than seperate....and I don't even care if we have that party or not, but I was hoping someone would put together the shower....its a girls only special moment that I get to have in the wedding...I'm glad FI wants to be involved in everything, but the shower is something special for just girls....and I want one, but I can't ask for one....you know how it goes...

valeri587 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_confession-thursday-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:8464803f-5907-4430-9f6b-0ee91abeeb27Post:73fa89a2-8690-4a59-add8-f974f0aca0c6">Re: Confession thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I confess I'm somewhat scared about my shower this weekend. It is for FI's side of the family</strong>, and I have only met his extended family twice. My MOH and BM can't come with because they are out of town, so I'm all on my own. I keep telling myself it won't be bad and its worth it because there will be presents! lol
Posted by tamrahelmer[/QUOTE]

This this this!!! I've been around them a good amount at this point but never by myself. My shower is Saturday and my mom is coming but I am freaking out!

SyAmaya · August 2012

*sigh* I confess I'm annoyed at FSIL, she also begged to be in the wedding, and I barely know her. Great opportunity to get to know her I thought, wrong! She's been telling me for months buying her dress and another for her older daughter is no problem. FI and I bought a dress for the flower girl, her younger daughter thinking we were helping her out. Deadline to buy their dresses comes and goes and all of a sudden we can't get in contact with her. FI ends up kicking her out of the wedding and we basically replaced her with his other sister who had to rush to buy her dress in time.
Weeks later, I write her a fb message asking her to call me as I am trying to surprise FI with a memorial for his deceased mother at her reserved seat. A floral arrangement and pictures of her and FI together. I wanted her help in picking out flowers that her mother liked or maybe even her favorite color. And she wont call me, or address the message.
It hurts me b'cuz I was thinking this really would be a great opportunity for her and I to get to know each other and start our relationship on a good foot. She's making it hard already!

SyAmaya · August 2012

Kicked her out of the bridal party* my mistake...

Ividian · August 2012

I confess that I hardly know FI's extended family and they're already driving me nuts! Wedding shower drama abounds!

cbear215 · August 2012

I confess that I wish I hadn't asked one of my BMs to be a BM. I also confess that I'd probably prefer if about half my guest list RSVP'd no.

aro1589 · August 2012

I confess I'm worried no one will come to my shower next weekend

Only 4 people have RSVPed and my sister asked for all rsvps by Saturday. NONE of FI family has RSVPed

[Deleted User] · August 2012

In Response to Re:Confession thursday:[QUOTE]I confess I'm worried no one will come to my shower next weekend :nbsp; Only 4 people have RSVPed and my sister asked for all rsvps by Saturday.nbsp; NONE of FI family has RSVPed : Posted by aro1589[/QUOTE]

People also just plain suck at RSVPing. My sister whose my MOH has been so pissed about that. It does make it difficult to plan...

[Deleted User] · August 2012

I confess that I'm ready to kick one of my BM out of the wedding. She was crazy supportive at the beginning then flipped a crazy switch and has been a nightmare for everyone in the bridal party for the last few months. My sister contacted her to see if she's coming to the bachelorette party because she's been on again off again about it. I just got a message from sister saying she's not dealing with her anymore. Calling soon to see what happened. My friends and I are very low drama people and enough is enough. I also confess that I've been complaining about her to the other BMs so if she actually does show up its going to be super uncomfortable. However I honestly feel like she's brought it upon herself. The other BMs knew that she was being difficult before I ever said anything to them about it.

kimm260 · August 2012

I confess that I am upset that one of my friend's parents will not be coming to the wedding. The last time I saw them they said that they were excited to come to the wedding and when I got their RSVP yesterday it said no. I wish they had written a note saying 'sorry we couldn't come but..." I know people have lives and things change but it still sting. I am also nervous that my friends that are not FI's and just mine will not come to the wedding and that makes me sad.

pengy16 · August 2012

I'm frustrated with my mom. She gets sooo wedding crazy. She really wants us to have a harpist. For what? Its not our style. I was telling her about an idea for my shower (MOH asked for names and potential theme) well my mom has decided its all penguins planned out a pampering special and made the invites. Pampering day is out of the budget, I love penguins but I'm trying not to make everything penguins with this wedding, but she keeps trying to push things that will cost me extra money I dont have for the wedding. She isnt helping pay for anything but has a huge opinion on how I should spend my money. I want to DIY things to save money, but instead she wants me to just hire someone.

Also like everyone else, I have met my fi family several times but I havent spent much time around them alone so I feel weird inviting them to my bridal shower. Another thing my mom is pushing, that I add all the females invited to the wedding, especially his family, to my shower and bachelorette party (which I feel really weird about inviting them to).

udream05 · August 2012

I confess, I thought my FMIL would be the difficult with all this wedding planning but it's my parents that have been the pains! My parents are contributing some money to the wedding which will basically cover what FI and I can't but now they feel they can demand things. We had originally planned our rehearsal dinner to be 26 people which was immediate famly and wedding party and significant others. When this came up in conversation with my parents they basically called us cheap and demanded that we have all the out of town guests at our rehearsal dinner and said they'd pay for it. So now instead of a nice intimate gathering it's 60 of the 80 people that are coming to our wedding. We are sooo pissed off. We'd rather pay for it ourselves!! and then my parents keep saying they're paying for the wedding... um no you're not you're contributing. My dad even asked when he would pay for the wedding reception, if they give him a bill at the reception, I was like are you frickin kidding me! Um we pay the bill. Way back when they had said they would give me money that I could use however I want, which I was planning on having a reasonable wedding and using the rest towards teh house. OOoh did I get yelled at for that! Oh and then they wanted to get special chocolate favors for $10 each.. I was like we are not spending $800 on frickin favors!! All my dad said was what how many people are coming? did he think I was only having 10 people there? sheesh!!

And then my trouble bridemaid who was sooo excited about me getting married and wanting to help out went all MIA after we got back from our girls trip at the end of May. I've given up on her and was actually hoping she wouldn't get her dress, but she ended up getting it on the last possible day she could. Like if she really doesn't want to be in the wedding the please drop out because I'm sick of this BS. She started talking all sorts of stuff and when I try to hang out she just flakes on me. I bought this special birthday gift for her last year but we ended up doing a trip instead so I never gave it to her so at this point that's going to be part of her bridesmaid gift since who knows how much I'll talk to her after the wedding. Although I've gotten a bit sad about losing her as a friend because when she's fun she's so much fun but when she's not fun she is an absolute B and a friendship just shouldn't be that difficult!!.. whew that felt good

Karla&Ryno · August 2012

I confess that I am worried that my bridal shower will be a dud next weekend. 35 invites were sent out and so far we only have 10 people coming....including myself, moh, mob, 2 bm's. I just want to have a good time, because this is the only shower that I will be having.

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