Vegetarian Meal

pltgurl · January 2010

My fiance and I are both strict vegetarians and we want to have a vegetarian pasta meal for our reception such as cheese lasanga or bow tie pasta with alfredo sauce. My parents are paying for the entire reception and they want us to have chicken and meat balls on the side with the pasta. We REALLY don't want meat to be served at our wedding and everyone knows that we are vegetarians, but my dad is afraid of looking cheap by not serving a "full meal" that includes meat to my relatives. Who is right here???

gower2be · January 2010

It's ultimatley up to you, and being a vegetarian once (no longer due to health reasons) it's understandable why you want no meat. Maybe try to accomadate with dishes containing tofu or mushrooms, mushrooms make a good meat substitue if people like eating them. Just look for filling alternatives. And no meat, especially if everyone knows you're vegetarian, does not look cheap by any means.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · January 2010

I'm doing a completely vegetarian reception. But I'm also paying myself. You might have to end up either paying for what you want or compromising with your parents.

Have you considered doing a choice of entre with one vegetarian and one sustainable seafood or organic chicken dish? Or a choice of 2 vegetarian dishes? Also, keep in mind that a lot of people can't eat dairy, so they may not be able to stomach something like tortellini or alfredo sauce. Maybe a roasted vegetable stack (eggplant, peppers, portobellos) with risotto? something different so people have a choice, but still in line with your beliefs.

Whippet8 · January 2010

unfortunately, since your parents are paying, they do get input in the decisions. Having been a vegetarian for 1.5 years at one point, I understand where you are coming from, but I also think that it is important to think about your guests. If you went to a wedding, you would appreciate a vegetarian option right? I think the same goes for your guests who eat meat. Sure, they can probably eat something meatless, but would they enjoy a meat option more?

Also, from my own experience, and from what I have heard from others, its very rare that the bride and groom get a chance to actually eat the full meal, if they eat at all.

antimony · January 2010

We're going all veg, but a) different financial situation and b) my mother and sister are also strict vegetarians, and are gleeful about the prospect.

Could you work with your dad to find something vegetarian that sounds "fancy" to him -- so that it would be clear it's not being cheap. What that is will vary culturally so widely I can't even start to suggest things.

LauraT25 · January 2010

Like others, I think that if your parents are paying they get a say. And I was vegetarian for three years, but I would still have provided a non-vegetarian entree for my meat-eating guests had I got married then. I would always have meat available when I had non-veggie friends over (though I didn't cook it myself) or told them to feel free to bring their own dish (not really an option for your wedding).

I understand your reasoning, since paying for meat supports an industry that you're against, but unless the majority of your guests are vegetarian, I think it's more polite to accomodate them. Of course there are meat-free entrees that they would eat on a normal basis (various pasta dishes, vegetable lasagna) but it's a nice gesture to try and cater to your guests.

At the very least, try and come up with more than one vegetarian option, and make sure at least one dish isn't too dairy-heavy, and that there's an option that isn't too 'weird' (i.e. no tofu, TVP, etc). Talk to your dad about your ideas, but if in the end he's still insisting on meat, you have to go along with that or open up your checkbook.

MOBinFLA · January 2010

Regardless of who is paying, you should take into consideration your guests who are meat eaters just as others are constantly reminded to consider their vegetarian friends. I think having meatballs and/or chicken on the side is a good idea.

I do think you need to think about people who may be lactose intolerant. What are they going to be able to eat? I like the idea of the vegetable stack; my daughter served that as the vegetarian entree at her wedding and it was a huge hit.

anne.azano · January 2010

I think it's important to cater to your guests, after all they're your guests! I have a mix of vegetarians, meat-eaters, allergies and plus a few people who can't have lactose or gluten to deal with and I'm doing stations so that everyone can have something and feel satisfied. I mean, how would you feel if you went to a wedding and every dish had meat and you had to settle for side dishes and iceberg lettuce? I'm sure it's happened. You would be upset, and rightly so. I just think that a wedding is a party, not the time to impose your values (even if you're right) on your guests.

Sinope · January 2010

If vegetarianism is an important ethical issue for you two, then you shouldn't feel like you have to compromise on it. However, it is obviously also important to get food that will make your guests happy! I would make sure you have familiar, hearty options: four-cheese lasagna, mushroom quiche, pasta primavera, penne alla vodka, and cheese tortellini in pesto are all recognizable, filling, and tasty. You didn't say how "high-end" the meal was, but these could easily be scaled up -- delicate ravioli with egg-yolk and mascarpone filling, a mushroom ragout with a poached egg and bearnaise sauce, French lentils with roasted seasonal vegetables, etc. Alternately, if your guests are adventurous, you could go for ethnic foods -- for instance, there are tons of delicious South Indian dishes that are vegetarian.

Anyway, I would get some concrete menu ideas that include good hearty proteins and show them to your dad -- maybe with pictures from actual caterers, if you can find some online. Explain graciously that you want to make sure all the guests are happy, and you're willing to figure out a vegetarian menu that will leave everyone satisfied.

waterskiaholic · January 2010

It's your wedding! I am vegetarian/vegan and so is my boyfriend (ok, so he hasn't proposed yet). I really don't care what everyone thinks, it's OUR wedding and we don't want animals to suffer for it. We're also looking into having an entirely vegan meal and cake-- because it's our wedding. Don't let your family pressure you into it if you're not interested in having meat at your wedding.

Invol · January 2010

My FI and I are both vegetarians (9 and 4 years, respectively) and will not serve meat at our wedding. I think everyone here had some good ideas. Are there any caterers in your area that offer soy meat options? I'm sure you have your favorites of those by now and could possibly work those into the meal. I know pesto with "chicken" is one of my favorite pasta dishes.. It is possible to NOT eat meat and have a delicious meal. Could you take him to try some of what the caterers offer so he can see how filling pasta, done well, can be?

ShaboAE · February 2010

If you are paying for it, you have full say.

Since you aren't, there needs to be some input from your dad. Work with the caterer to come up with a dish that your dad will be happy with, and that won't compromise your values. You could do something different like stuffed mushrooms, too. And make sure you have a pasta choice that doesn't have too much dairy. As long as it doesn't look like the food choices you are making are "cheap", then your guests probably won't even notice there's no meat. You will need to make sure if any of your guests have gluten allergies or are diabetic that you have an alternative for them as well.

Good luck!

antimony · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_food-cakes_vegetarian-meal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:23Discussion:1df25c15-9f24-4a7d-b4d5-e0346dbe2826Post:50cfc55c-ae40-438e-8ebf-ffa76de07b68">Re: Vegetarian Meal</a>:
[QUOTE]... something different like stuffed mushrooms, too.
Posted by ShaboAE[/QUOTE]

FYI, while stuffed mushrooms can be delicious, different they are not. These days, they're kind of the catering equivalent to "wedding chicken" for vegetarians. That doesn't make them bad, and if you're working with a traditional caterer rather than one with experience with vegetarian food, sticking in their comfort zone will probably make for better food.

Vegetarian Meal

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