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July 2012 Weddings
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Is it rude to invite guests to the wedding who did not get a save the date? (SORRY I AM SUCH A PW TO

butterflyjumper1butterflyjumper1
1000 Comments
in July 2012 Weddings
Is it rude to invite guests to the wedding who did not receive a save the date?

There are some people we have decided to invite who did not get a save the date when we sent them back in January. Is this considered rude or b-listing? This came up when someone was talking about their venue requirements yesterday and I realized I wasn't really sure what the answer was...

thanks ladies :)
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Re: Is it rude to invite guests to the wedding who did not get a save the date? (SORRY I AM SUCH A PW TO

  • BeachLover2885BeachLover2885 member
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    I don't think so! I didn't send STDs to my mom's cousin's kids, but we ended up inviting them to the wedding.  They were so excited to be invited, and no one said anything about the STD :) 
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Nope :)

    I invited quite a few people that weren't sent STDs. It's only technically rude if you "B-List" someone at invitation time, not at STD time.
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  • toomanychoices17toomanychoices17
    100 Comments
    We ended up doing this so I hope it's not rude! My parents have large families and we knew some wouldn't come, just not how many.  Luckily some of my relatives who can't make it have let my parents know after getting the STD, so now we're inviting 3 more couples that my parents are friends with and have been in my life.
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  • butterflyjumper1butterflyjumper1
    1000 Comments
    WHEW! thanks for the quick reassurance :)

    my mom and I decided to invite the rest of our cousins who are coming to my shower that my shower hostess decided to invite that we had previously not invited to the wedding. Wouldn't be a big deal, except that they come from big families, so this is adding about 15 guests to our guest list. OH WELL! the more the merrier :) hopefully none of them are offended by the lack of save the dates...
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  • mbodymbody
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    No, it's not rude. You are perfectly fine to send an invite to someone even if they didn't receive a STD.
    image

    Anxiously awaiting baby #1! Baby BOY Due: May 30, 2013! Lilypie Maternity tickers

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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_is-it-rude-to-invite-guests-to-the-wedding-who-did-not-get-a-save-the-date-sorry-i-am-such-a-pw-today?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:e40040be-634f-4649-8e56-0dc59b8be94bPost:3e61db9c-fd46-40a3-9fac-1794b1fce72e">Re: Is it rude to invite guests to the wedding who did not get a save the date? (SORRY I AM SUCH A PW TODAY!!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]WHEW! thanks for the quick reassurance :) <strong>my mom and I decided to invite the rest of our cousins who are coming to my shower </strong>that my shower hostess decided to invite that we had previously not invited to the wedding. Wouldn't be a big deal, except that they come from big families, so this is adding about 15 guests to our guest list. OH WELL! the more the merrier :) hopefully none of them are offended by the lack of save the dates...
    Posted by butterflyjumper1[/QUOTE]

    So glad you decided to invite them. It is rude to invite someone to a shower and NOT the wedding.  Were your STD magnets? You could still give them one, many of my family members wanted one even though they can't make the wedding. They like having our picture on the frig.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
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  • butterflyjumper1butterflyjumper1
    1000 Comments
    Yes, I am glad too. We were planning to do so - the issue was more that, if we invited my cousins who are coming to the shower, we also need to invite their parents and their siblings so that no one feels left out. So its more like 15-20 people being added to the list rather than just the few who were invited to the shower. My parents weren't concerned about the extra expense so I am just excited to have more guests at this point :)

    Ours were postcards, so we will probably just send the new folks invites.  I don't think they will really even know the difference...hopefully, anyway!
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  • dramaqueen91087dramaqueen91087
    500 Comments
    Not at all. In fact we only sent STD's to out of town people. The local people, who were always on the list, didn't get them. This actually caused on of FI's really good friends to think he wasn't invited!

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  • MeaganR12MeaganR12
    1000 Comments
    We did this too, I think it's pretty common actually. 
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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    We didn't send STD's to everyone on the guest list =)  So no, it is not rude to invite people who did not get the STD's =)
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