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Rehearsal dinner??

radleybooradleyboo member
First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Second Weddings
Hi Girls-

My wedding is in just over 90 days and I feel like everything is coming together really well.  FI and I are footing the bill for the whole enchilada, and we've done quite well sticking to our budget and setting money aside as we've needed to. 

Then the other day, it hits me.  We need to pay for a rehearsal dinner!  Ack!  Truth is, I completely forgot about this part of the wedding! 

We are having a very small wedding, about 50 guests, 2 attendants each, and 4 kids.  We will likely have 2 readings, the 'marriage' ceremony, then the 'family' ceremony, and that's it.  We will need to rehearse to make sure everything runs smoothly, I'm not willing to just wing it the day of. 

I'd been thinking of asking FMIL if we could head to her condo, which is nearby the wedding site, after the rehearsal and simply put some burgers on the grill with salads, etc. and maybe asking folks to bring a dish to pass. FI and I would foot the bill for the burgers and fixings, drinks, paper goods, and cutlery. 

I spoke to my mom about this and she said that instead of 'putting FMIL out' we can just 'all go out to dinner afterward and everyone can pay for themselves'.  I know she's trying to be gracious and lift this burden for us and FMIL, but I don't feel right about that.  Is that even an option?

Give me some ideas girls, I'm open to anything.  Thanks!

Edited for typos. 
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Re: Rehearsal dinner??

  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Do the BBQ at FMIL's, but either buy or make the sides.  If anyone offers to make something, feel free to accept the offer, but don't ask them to. 
    Or go to a simple restaurant or pizza place & pick up the tab.  Or get pizzas & beer and go to a local park or just to your place. 

    It doesn't have to be fancy, but if you invite them, you should be picking up the tab. 
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  • MikesAngieMikesAngie member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited March 2013
    Talk to your FMIL and find out if she is willing to "host" your rehearsal dinner.  Another inexpensive option is going out for pizza, after you do a little practicing.

    We were fortunate that my MIL offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner.   We thought that was going to be on us, but she offered.  It was nice to have that gift. 

    Edited to make sense. 
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    "etiquette-wise" (and there aren't a lot of things today that follow that), it is up to the groom's parents to host. Having said that, the above post is a good one. You can host if you don't want to ask your MIL (or she hasn't offered), and it can be pizza or carryout at someone's house. Or a BBQ.

    I was lucky, my MIL knew it was her "etiquette-wise" responsibility, and we chose a restaurant near her house and the rehearsal site. I think it was less than $20 per person including alcohol. We didn't stay long, and I supplied the cake from Costco (LOVE them,LOL).

    Plan what you can afford, and don't worry about how fancy it is.
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  • jchollawayjchollaway
    First Comment
    We have a lot in common. I'm also having a small ceremony with about 50 guests, 1 MOH and BM. We are having it in the back yard of our house, with the reception inside. 

    Who goes to the rehearsal dinner? I'm trying to remember from last time LOL. I assume me and FI, our kids, BM, MOH and their significant others... what about parents? They don't need to be at the rehearsal do they? My dad isn't walking me down the isle or anything. Who else would go? Do we need to invite the officiant? The wedding planner? 

    I was thinking we would just all go to a restaurant and we would pick up the tab. Somewhere that has happy hour. LOL
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    To be honest, with only 2 attendants, I don't think you don't need a rehearsal.  No rehearsal = no rehearsal dinner. 

    H and I each had one attendant.  We discussed the flow of the ceremony with the minister a few weeks ahead of time.  About an hour before the ceremony, the four of us did a brief walk-through with the minister.  Voila!  Everything was just fine.

    Remember, the officiant has likely performed so many wedding ceremonies that he/she can easily assist the 4 of you with next steps if you forget.  Just my $0.02.

    Enjoy!
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