To hyphenate or not?

hllokttygirl · April 2012

I was wondering how many of you are planning on hyphenating your names. I always said I wouldn't do it, but my degree and certifications are in my maiden name and I am too lazy to change everything. I have been going back and forth with this for the past few months. My other concern is if I do hyphenate my last name will be 22 letters long. I don't think that will even fit on most forms plus it will be a giant pain in the ass to write. So keeping their maiden names, switching to FI's or hyphenating? **** Just noticed I put changiMg instead of changing in the poll. Glad I am putting my degree in English to good use

achiduck · April 2012

I've always planned on taking my husbands last name.

irishangieb · April 2012

I voted that I'm changing mine even though the though of having the same-ish name as my FMIL is giving me nightmares.
Im considering the two middle name thing. I don't want to loose my middle name, its my mom's, my grandma's, her mom's and her mom's mom's.
I kinda hate the two last name thing but Im giving it some consideration.

Bryan&AmyC · April 2012

I'm taking FI's last name. We haven't been super traditional with much of our wedding, but that's one tradition I've always liked. I'll miss my maiden name but it's gonna be kinda nice not to have to spell out my last name anymore!

JennluvsPaul · April 2012

so I read that as "to hyperventilate or not" and rushed in here to calm you down...oops

that being said the Quebec government has decided for me that I keep my last name, and my kids get a hyphenated last name. I would actually prefer to change my name to my husband's. I know I can use his last name socially, but it's useless to use it socially when every single piece of ID i have has my last name and not his.....

I don't know what to tell you, but be thankful you have a choice!

snuff9861 · April 2012

I will probably be chaning to FIs. I've struggled with this decision for a long time. Normally I would be all for taking my new husband's last name....except his last name is not as cool as mine. I love my last name. Hyphenating is out of the question because it's too much of a hassle in terms of the paperwork and it would be way too long. FI would be crushed if I kept my maiden name, so thats also out.

[Deleted User] · April 2012

How does your fiance feel about it? I wouldn't mind keeping my last name but FI is very traditional and I know he wants me to change it so I'm planning to.

getintheboxx · April 2012

I haven't decided yet. Mine is simple 6 letters somewhat easy to spell. His is 11 letters and with a z in the middle with ski on the end. I love my name and I really want to keep it, however he has mentioned it would make him happy if I took his though it is my decision. I have Future In Law issues and FFIL has made it very clear he doesn't want me taking the name. I probably won't make a decision till we are much closer to the date.

minionlover · April 2012

I can't wait to change my name to FI's. I am done with my maiden name. When I got married the first time, I was sad to see it go and now because of some unfortunate circumstances with my father, I have alot less attachment to my maiden name.

pockysquirrel · April 2012

In Response to Re:To hyphenate or not?:[QUOTE]so I read that as "to hyperventilate or not" and rushed in here to calm you down...oopsthat being said the Quebec government has decided for me that I keep my last name, and my kids get a hyphenated last name. I would actually prefer to change my name to my husband's. I know I can use his last name socially, but it's useless to use it socially when every single piece of ID i have has my last name and not his.....I don't know what to tell you, but be thankful you have a choice! Posted by JennluvsPaul[/QUOTE]

WTH, Quebec? I didn't know they could do that...is this something that happens often in Canada?

PattySmith101 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_to-hyphenate-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:27293a9d-c7f6-4762-b2fe-cdc2b6ed8c36Post:1521de3f-520d-4d04-bf73-f781c41acef2">Re: To hyphenate or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]so I read that as "to hyperventilate or not" and rushed in here to calm you down...oops that being said the Quebec government has decided for me that I keep my last name, and my kids get a hyphenated last name. I would actually prefer to change my name to my husband's. I know I can use his last name socially, but it's useless to use it socially when every single piece of ID i have has my last name and not his..... I don't know what to tell you, but be thankful you have a choice!
Posted by JennluvsPaul[/QUOTE]

lmao- i read it as hydrate- and was wondering what we were watering!

that being said i am changing my last name- nothing is worse than having a very common last name, people dont believe me when i say my last name is Smith!

achiduck · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_to-hyphenate-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:27293a9d-c7f6-4762-b2fe-cdc2b6ed8c36Post:d96cf311-3b1c-4fe6-9fc3-bae64fd00784">Re:To hyphenate or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:To hyphenate or not?: WTH, Quebec? I didn't know they could do that...is this something that happens often in Canada?
Posted by pockysquirrel[/QUOTE]

I'm in Ontario and the government doesn't force us to anything one way or another. But the Quebec government likes to do weird things and doesn't usually conform to the rest of the provincial governments.

NRod70 · April 2012

Wow, that's interesting about Quebec. hmmmm.

anywho, I'll be changing my last name. I've had this stinkin' last name (maiden name) for 41, almost 42 years now. I'm due for a change darn it!!!!

mpjf1001 · April 2012

taking FI's last name even tho my tax guy will prob frown upon it!

Kristen627 · April 2012

I'm keeping my last name. i've had it for 30 years and I can't imagine giving it up! It's mine! If my FI had an issue with it, I'd change it legally but continue to use my current name. Luckily he doesn't, so I'm almost positive I'm staying put.

lepoissonrouge · April 2012

Why does the tax guy care?

I will be taking FIs last name. I want to, and I also know that he'd be a little sad if I did not take his last name. I feel like he would see it as some personal offense, because he is weird like that.

I can totally understand not taking it for professional reasons tho, I know some of the girls have things published in their maiden names here and I wouldn't want to lose that either. Even tho I know OP is thinking about it just as a time-saving matter, lol. I thought I would point that out.

ricasunga · April 2012

Seems as if I'm the only one that is responding this way, but I will most likely hyphenate. I've always said I would never change my name. Part of me feels like I'm losing my identity when taking my FI's name. I'm a bit of a feminist as well. But like you I'm not 100 sure what I'm going to do yet. I don't want to disrespect him or his family but I have to be true to how I feel. He doesn't care either way, he's great like that.

[Deleted User] · April 2012

In Response to Re:To hyphenate or not?:[QUOTE]Part of me feels like I'm losing my identity when taking my FI's name. Posted by ricasunga[/QUOTE]

I feel that way too! I have a unique last name but when I change to FIs last name i'll have the same name as his sister, our first names are just spelled different by one letter! It honestly bugs me even though it probably shouldn't.

NRod70 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_to-hyphenate-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:27293a9d-c7f6-4762-b2fe-cdc2b6ed8c36Post:7f8b605f-029c-4800-b966-ac5024d23690">Re:To hyphenate or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]Seems as if I'm the only one that is responding this way, but I will most likely hyphenate. I've always said I would never change my name. Part of me feels like I'm losing my identity when taking my FI's name. I'm a bit of a feminist as well. But like you I'm not 100 sure what I'm going to do yet. I don't want to disrespect him or his family but I have to be true to how I feel. He doesn't care either way, he's great like that.
Posted by ricasunga[/QUOTE]

I actually had thought about it for a bit and decided against it. I have not done many "traditional" things in my life and this is one that I decided to do. FI is kind of excited about it and already calls me by Mrs. xxx, ususally when he's trying to get my attention. lol.

My SIL originally had hyphenated and after 10 years or marriage decided she just couldn't be bothered anymore. To each his (or her) own!

pockysquirrel · April 2012

I'm taking FI's name mainly because I'm sick of mine, LOL. I more or less share a last name with a celebrity. It's spelled the same, but pronounced differently. So I've put up with being mispronounced, joked about, and asked if we're related all my life. Enough already! FI's name is longer than mine, but at least it's pronouncable and doesn't belong to anyone famous...

fishinflagrl · April 2012

I will miss my last name, but I am going to take FI's. ALTHOUGH, at the hospital I work at...I will probably keep my maiden name b/c I have been there for so long and my mom works there, so they know "our" last name very well.

jenny&will2014 · April 2012

I struggled with this bc i have a son from a previous marriage and i am concerned with not having the same last name as him but I do not want my ex husbands last name anymore (i would change my sons to my future husbands last name if I could lol) and i dont want to go back to my maiden name. We even thought about making a whole new last name for the both of us-ie both of our mothers maiden names combined but in the end i am going to take his last name bc it makes me feel more like his wife (as stupid as that might sound) good luck in your decision!

MicMikeM · April 2012

I'm taking FI last name. What's funny is that my name is Michele with one "L" and he is Micheal spelled with the e before the a, not the usual way.

We work together, so people see his name on the schedule board and think it's me and come running up to me asking if we've already gotten married.

When I was married the first time I took his name and while the name change to the married name and back to the maiden name was a pain, I'm just traditional that way. Maybe it's geeky, but I'm happy.

My sister has all her degrees in her maiden name. So while her college students all know her as Dr. Maiden Name, her friends, etc all know her as Mrs. Married Name.

I asked her if it was tough for her but she said it's almost like two separate lives and she doesn't mind answering to two different names.

DeannaCW · April 2012

I'm changing to FI's. I've never considered not, I think it shows family solidarity. Upon giving it thought, I don't feel much connection to the name as we're not close with my dad's side, I'm not close with my dad, and it just seems like a huuuge hassle and headache to hyphenate or keep.

steveandta · April 2012

I really want to hyphenate my name b/c of my profession. but my FH is pretty stern on me taking his name only. My son and my dog have his last name ;p

violakat03 · April 2012

My FI wants me to take his name, but he also understands that he's not the one being affected by it so I get final say.

I'm planning to hyphenate socially, but legally (at least, on my ID) it will be just his last name. I recently got my name legally changed back to my maiden name (been divorced for a while, obviously, if I'm getting married again!) and I want to hold on to it for a while! Because I go by my middle name, I've been having a bit of an identity crisis lately where I feel like no one knows my actual name, because I didn't use my legal name and it just kind of made a mess. So, I'll hyphenate to sort of "keep" my identity.

However, I'm planning to do like a friend of mine did, where she hyphenated hers for business reasons, and then over the years started dropping off her maiden name for various uses. After about 6 years, she finally dropped it everywhere and only goes by her husband's last name now. That's probably what I'll do.

ivedonethisb4 · April 2012

I haven't checked into the whole name changing thing so I'm not 100 on how it all works but I want both and I don't want them hyphenated. I want to be able just to sign checks _______ _ _ _____. That would be my name middle in maiden initial and his last name. I have this thing about not losing my maiden name fully because its the ONLY thing I have left of my Dad. But I wouldn't want to be called by it. I just want it there...so I don't know what my option would be...

julzy · April 2012

I'm keeping my maiden name but I'll unofficially hypenate for a lot of things. My mom, step-mom and other important female role models in my life all kept their maiden names and so for me that's more of the norm. I love my name and I just don't understand why I would change it. My law degree will also be in my maiden name since I'm graduating before we get married. It's also an ethnic last name and my FI's isn't. I don't want to lose that ethnic part of my identity. I'm proud of it.

FI had a hard time understanding it at first. His mom took his dad's name and even though they've been divorced for 12 years, she still kept her ex-husband's name... so I understand why the concept of not taking the name at all would be hard for him. (I don't think there's anything wrong with his mother's choice but it's just not me or my personality. I respect her decision though!) That being said, I think he knows how important it is to me and isn't holding any grudges about it.

I would have probably hypenated legally if I could have convinced him to do the same. ;-)

To hyphenate or not?

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