Our wedding is in NYC in October and the save-the-dates just went out. Now, my parents have offered to throw me a shower back home in Montana in the summer, given that most people I am inviting from that neck of the woods probably aren't going to be able to come to NYC, and this will give us a chance to celebrate together.
The problem is that my parents are treating the shower like a big party, and would like to invite people who I hadn't intended to invite to the wedding (like their personal friends who I don't know well, shirt-tail relatives that are closer to them than to me, etc.) Within reason, I can accept that, and I will send those people wedding invitations too, since that's polite and they probably won't be making it anyway. BUT these people are as of yet undecided, and none of them have save-the-dates. So they will be No STD + Yes Invitation.
I feel weird about that. Should I (1) tell my parents that only those Montana people I originally planned to invite to the wedding are invited to the shower, period, (2) accept a few more guests for the shower if it makes my parents happy, finalize the guest list ASAP, and get an STD to everyone who didn't already get one immediately (and invites later), or (3) stop worrying about this, because no one cares much about not getting a save-the-date when they got a formal invitation later?