New Jersey

Changing my last name! (UPDATE)

So we got married on 9/23, and at the end of last week (I think Friday) I had called the township where we got married to see if my certificate was there and ready for me to pick up copies of it. They looked up my name and said they had received it from the church the day before and it was sent out for processing, and they should have it back by this Tuesday. So she said to go there after Tuesday and I could get it.
Well I just called to verify that it was definitely there now, before making the trip there (I don't want to mail the application because I'd have to mail my passport for identification and I'm not doing that).. the person told me that they aren't allowed to tell anybody over the phone if the certificate is there, that I'd have to go there to show proof of identity and then they can see if it is there. So I was like "so you want me to drive there to get it when it might not be there?" and she said yes.

Has anybody experienced this before? This seems ridiculous to me. When I told her how the other person had given me information she said that she wasn't supposed to do that. I'm going to go there now I guess, and hope it is there, because I've been driving around with an expired driver's license since 9/30 ( I wasn't going to renew it and then go back to get my name changed a week later).. so I really need to get this done!

ARghghghghg so frustrating!!

Re: Changing my last name! (UPDATE)

  • edited December 2011
    I got married in a church, and the priest mailed what I believe was a legal certificate to us. Maybe it was a copy? I didn't change my name, so I can't say if what we got in the mail is what you'll need.
  • edited December 2011
    My experience was annoying as well, except when I called to see if I can come pick mine up they told me they don't allow people to pick them up. I had to send in an application by mail and then wait for them to mail me the certificates. Fortunately it only took like a week, but I was like you have got to be kidding me that I can't just come get it.

    Also, make sure you bring extra forms of ID when you go to DMV. I didn't get my social security card changed yet, which I didn't think would be a problem based on other people's experiences I read about on here. The lady asked for my social security card but I didn't have it with me (plus my name wasn't changed on it yet anyway). I figured my marriage certificate and driver's license would be enough (since that's 7 points and you only need 6). Well the lady made me give her both of those, plus my passport, and my credit card statement, and my debit card....I have NO idea why she kept asking for so many forms of ID. At one point she asked to see a credit card with my new name on it...I was like uh, I am here to change my name today so obviously I wouldn't have changed my name on any credit cards yet (!!??). She was like yeah, you're right......I wanted to ask if it was her first day on the job since by this point she had like 20 points of ID and she still wasn't satisfied that was good enough and asked for her manager to look at it to see if I had enough to get through. Ridiculous. She eventually said ok and let me change it, but wow...what a scene and a half that was.
    BabyFetus Ticker
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:ea0e281a-c05b-4163-9c27-201eb5d158c6">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]I got married in a church, and the priest mailed what I believe was a legal certificate to us. Maybe it was a copy? I didn't change my name, so I can't say if what we got in the mail is what you'll need.
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

    The one that the church gives you is not the actual marriage certificate. That just shows you are marriedin the Church's eyes.. but it is not a legal document. (The church gave us that immediately after the ceremony). The actual marriage certificate comes from the town hall where you get married.
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:b6af2042-535c-4dbc-bf9b-b6ba0d46c797">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]My experience was annoying as well, except when I called to see if I can come pick mine up they told me they don't allow people to pick them up. I had to send in an application by mail and then wait for them to mail me the certificates. Fortunately it only took like a week, but I was like you have got to be kidding me that I can't just come get it. Also, make sure you bring extra forms of ID when you go to DMV. I didn't get my social security card changed yet, which I didn't think would be a problem based on other people's experiences I read about on here. The lady asked for my social security card but I didn't have it with me (plus my name wasn't changed on it yet anyway). I figured my marriage certificate and driver's license would be enough (since that's 7 points and you only need 6). Well the lady made me give her both of those, plus my passport, and my credit card statement, and my debit card....I have NO idea why she kept asking for so many forms of ID. At one point she asked to see a credit card with my new name on it...I was like uh, I am here to change my name today so obviously I wouldn't have changed my name on any credit cards yet (!!??). She was like yeah, you're right......I wanted to ask if it was her first day on the job since by this point she had like 20 points of ID and she still wasn't satisfied that was good enough and asked for her manager to look at it to see if I had enough to get through. Ridiculous. She eventually said ok and let me change it, but wow...what a scene and a half that was.
    Posted by cutiepie12702[/QUOTE]
    Luckily, the DMV is only a minute from my work, so if worse comes to worse and I don't have everything I need with me (they check when you walk in the door), I could always go back another day. I plan to bring my license, passport, birth certificate, marriage certificate and social security card. And I'll have a debit card with me as well.

    That's if I can ever get the copy of the stupid marriage certificate!!
    I just don't get what the big deal is about telling me over the phone if they have it yet.. I still need to show ID when I pick it up, so who cares if they tell a stranger that they have it there?! Duh!!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://northjersey.weddings.com/Sites/weddings/Pages/main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:dcb9a304-e8e1-438b-9564-51192b0d9ad5">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness : The one that the church gives you is not the actual marriage certificate. That just shows you are marriedin the Church's eyes.. but it is not a legal document. (The church gave us that immediately after the ceremony). The actual marriage certificate comes from the town hall where you get married.
    Posted by cindyn9178[/QUOTE]

    Yes, I'm definitely aware there's a difference ... we got BOTH documents together. We did use the legal certificate (or copy? I have no way to check right now) to get my name on my husband's credit union account. The church certificate wouldn't have worked in that instance! Then again, was the civil form we got back the legal license? It was a copy of the form filled in the city of residence, not the town where the ceremony was held.
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:81df6f22-71df-4655-96fc-d127a6ef057b">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness : Yes, I'm definitely aware there's a difference ... we got BOTH documents together. We did use the legal certificate (or copy? I have no way to check right now) to get my name on my husband's credit union account. The church certificate wouldn't have worked in that instance! Then again, was the civil form we got back the legal license? It was a copy of the form filled in the city of residence, not the town where the ceremony was held.
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]
    No clue.. I've never heard of getting a certificate from the town where you live.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:81df6f22-71df-4655-96fc-d127a6ef057b">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness : Yes, I'm definitely aware there's a difference ... we got BOTH documents together. We did use the legal certificate (or copy? I have no way to check right now) to get my name on my husband's credit union account. The church certificate wouldn't have worked in that instance! <strong>Then again, was the civil form we got back the legal license?</strong> It was a copy of the form filled in the city of residence, not the town where the ceremony was held.
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

    Yes, it actually is......My pastor gave us the copy of the license that is given to the town. All the town does is copy that license onto legal paper with a seal. It's nothing pretty

    Also, it's filed in the city where you were married. Not the city where you live
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:20cb35ff-6d6b-4c31-9d46-e78b8be6bd14">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness : Yes, it actually is......My pastor gave us the copy of the license that is given to the town. All the town does is copy that license onto legal paper with a seal. It's nothing pretty Also, it's filed in the city where you were married. Not the city where you live
    Posted by sfennell1[/QUOTE]
    But you can't use that certificate that you get from the church as your actual marriage certificate right? Like the DMV and SSO won't accept that, right?

    The one I got from my church basically just says the date, the Church name and who married us, so it doesn't seem like too much of a legal document, and I'm guessing it is not the same thing that I'll get back from the town, but I guess I'll find that out soon enough. (I've decided to wait until Friday since that will be two weeks and they assured me it should be ready after 2 weeks).
  • edited December 2011
    The legal document we got back from the priest had vitals and addresses, all boxes with filled-in blanks. It was a form, and not a certificate per se. Since I didn't change my name, I don't know if it would have been acceptable for the MVC and Social Security. But that would have been the document I'd bring for the process, unless they'd tell me otherwise when I got there.

    The church certificate I got looked like it was made with a Word template.
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:df47bbb6-48cc-4017-b31b-f1383c6e629d">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]The legal document we got back from the priest had vitals and addresses, all boxes with filled-in blanks. It was a form, and not a certificate per se. Since I didn't change my name, I don't know if it would have been acceptable for the MVC and Social Security. But that would have been the document I'd bring for the process, unless they'd tell me otherwise when I got there. The church certificate I got looked like it was made with a Word template.
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

    Ahh ok, yes that "form" is just the copy of the completed marriage license. That is submitted to the town, and then the certificate is processed. So no, that wouldn't be acceptable for proof of marriage at the DMV or SSO. You would need the actual marriage certificate and that comes from the town. From my town they are $7 per copy, not sure how much other towns charge or if it is all the same.

    Our church 'certificate" actually has a seal on it and everything - looks very official, but still not the same thing :( I wish it was!
  • edited December 2011
    We have a DMV? ;) It's the MVC here. I don't work for them or the state, but at my job, we have to use the proper name for the agency. That's made me pedantic on this issue. ;) Topic? Thanks for the clarification. Is there a need for us to get the official copy from the town, even if I'm not changing my name?
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_marriage-certificate-ridculousness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:0791d9f3-d8e1-4f54-8e50-fd952f2efe35Post:395a7c90-f016-4402-b4d6-adea18ab0cc8">Re: Marriage Certificate Ridculousness</a>:
    [QUOTE]We have a DMV? ;) It's the MVC here. I don't work for them or the state, but at my job, we have to use the proper name for the agency. That's made me pedantic on this issue. ;) Topic? Thanks for the clarification. Is there a need for us to get the official copy from the town, even if I'm not changing my name?
    Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]
    I've always heard it referred to by everyone as the DMV.. never heard anybody say "I'm going to the MVC" .. LOL

    Anyway, I don't know if you need an official copy from the town if you aren't changing your name. I would think it would be good to have, and if it is only $7 I'd personally get it anyway.
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Just figured I'd post an update on this.

    I went to pick up the copies of the Marriage Certificate today from the town.. the woman that was there was the first woman I had spoken to a week ago who confirmed they had received it (the nice woman! lol).. so she had everything ready for me. I just needed to give her my driver's license for ID. I bought two copies ($7 each).

    then I went to the DMV (MVC? lol) in Springfield.. it was a ghost town in there, surprisingly! (I was prepared to be there for like 2 hours as usual).
    All they needed me to show was my marriage certificate, my old driver's license and something with my mailing address on it. (so I didn't need my birth certificate, social security card, or passport which I also had with me).

    Next, I went to the Social Security office to apply for my new card.. went to the one in Union, literally took 10 minutes. Had to fill out an application, show them the marriage certificate and my driver's license.. they said I'll get the new card in the mail in 2 weeks (and to put my married name inside the mailbox so the mailman will leave it for me).

    The whole ordeal took about an hour, including driving around everywhere and now my name is officially changed!!
  • edited December 2011
    Congrats! it was a breeze for me as well. Now don't forget to update your tax forms at work. I heard it's a pain to correct once they print the w2's 
  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, I can't change my name at work until I get my social security card.. so I guess in 2 weeks.. thanks for the reminder!
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