Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

What aren't you doing / What didn't you do?

Some people think I'm weird, but we're not:

1. Doing a receiving line (small wedding of 70)
2. No stag and doe 
3. No limo 
4. No boutineers or corsages 
5. No garter toss (my grandparents don't need to see fiance's head in my crotch lol)
6. flowergirl / ring bearer - or any kids for that matter 
7. nothing religious 
8. no readings during the ceremony 
9. no engagement photos 
10. no save the dates 
11. no decor - other than linens / chair covers that come with the hall, and centerpieces 
12. no hair up - down 
13. no something old / new / borrowed blue 
14. no entrance song - just walking in the venue 

What do you think? Are any of my no's a bad idea? What didn't you do?
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Re: What aren't you doing / What didn't you do?

  • its your wedding you can do anything you want! there're a few things on your list im not doing to like the receiving line (take too much time)but these days people are just doing what makes them happy its not so much tradition..i would suggest keeping the garter toss its a fun tradition!
  • If it makes you feel better we're not doing a receiving line, renting a limo, or having any kids (in WP or as a guest) either.  We're not sure on the garter toss.  I'm only doing bouts/corsages for family members because that sort of thing is really important to my grandma.
  • we're not:

    having a large bridal party (just my sister, his brother)
    having a flower girl/ring bearer
    cutting (or serving) wedding cake
    planning formal first dances
     decorating the ceremony space
    having a receiving line
    serving meat
    having a bachelorette party
    having escort cards (just a seating chart)
    giving favours
    having OOT gift bags
    DIY'ing anything other than our invites

    anything that seems like too much work or doesn't seem interesting to me/us is going.  i have the feeling i'll regret nixing some of this stuff, but honestly - i just don't care enough to do it all.

    v.

  • We are not:

    1. doing any first dances
    2. throwing a bouquet/garter (blech)
    3. fretting over any small details
    4. having flowers for every member of the family (bride, groom, MOH and BM only)
    5. Only having a MOH and BM

    We are:

    1. planning a destination wedding/family vacation
    2. planning a simple at home reception
    3. planning on having a wonderful time with everyone

    Oh, and saying "it's your wedding, you can do whatever you want!" is a really bad mindset.  You can do whatever you want within reason and as long as you respect everyone who is also invited to the wedding.
  • We are having a 30 person ceremony and dinner at a nice restaurant so we are not:
    1- having a flower girl/ring bearer
    2- having a receiving line
    3- having dancing of any kind (but we are having an after party for our friends our age at our place later that night so maybe people will dance then...?)
    4- sending save the dates
    5- no garter or bouquet toss
    6- only two bouquets for me and MOH and 2 bouts for groom and Best Man
    7- no having my dad walk me down the isle
    8- no decor other than what comes with the resturant
    9- no favors
    10- no engagement photos (we have our daughters annual photo session in early April w/ an awesome photographer so we figure during that session we'll ask her to shoot a few quick photos of just FI & I and use the best one to put on our kodak.com invites)
    11- no limo

    soo... point being- its your wedding, do whatever you want and ENJOY!
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  • We're not inviting kids, doing tosses, serving cake, or having dancing, favors, or a receiving line.  We're also not having the ceremony in any kind of standard venue; the ceremony and reception are in a large hotel suite.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • We didn't do:

    something old, borrowed, blue
    flower girl or ring bearer
    no readings during ceremony
    bouquet/garter toss
  • We ARE having a medium-sized (75 person) wedding. We have big families, or it would be smaller! We are also having a lunch reception at the park.

    So NO:
    -save the dates
    -engagement photos
    -ring bearer (but will have 2 flower girls)
    -limo
    -receiving line
    -big exit from church
    -DJ (will have ipod)
    -official dances
    -garter/bouquet toss
    -special decorations at the location beyond (paper/plastic) tablecloths and centerpieces
    -big send off (it's our party, we're staying until the end!)



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  • I have a lot of the same things as you:

    Some people think I'm weird, but we're not:

    No receiving line
    No limo 
    No garter/bouquet toss (it would be seriously embarassing for the maybe 5 single people, we're the last of the friends to get married)
    no ring bearer
    no readings during the ceremony 
    no save the dates 

  • Our List of "No"s...
    -No receiving line - we'll just bounce around tables at the reception
    -No Flower Girl / Ring Bearer
    -No kids at all
    -No readings during the ceremony 
    -No flowers other than bouquets/boutinerres/corsages
    -No exit from reception - we're doing it from the Church b/c we're partying all night!
    -No favors (just personalized coasters at the bar)

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    Anniversary
  • -No seating arrangements, except a head table.
    -No receiving line. (We are having a contra dance, similiar to square dancing, so we'll get to dance with almost everyone.)
    -No expensive pampering. We will do our own nails. I will be the only one getting my hair done.
    -No ring bearer/flower girl.
    -No huge BP. (2 each)
    -No massive invites. (Seal-N-Sends are awesome!)
    -No Limo.
    -No Engagement photos or fancy announcement.
    -No Bachelor party or bridal shower... but my MOH is organizing a lingerie shower! (FI is super excited about that one....)

  • We're sticking with a lot of traditional things but there are certain things we are cutting out like:
    - the receiving line
    - the champagne toast
    - the mother-son dance
    - flowers for anyone other than the BP
    - flower girl or ring bearer
    - favors

  • We have some No's as well:

    No ring bearer
    No garter/bouquet toss
    No favors
    No blue/new/old stuff
    No receiving line
    No father/daugter OR mother/son dances
    No ceremony decorations
    No limo or big send off (staying the whole time at our party and enjoying a cabin on site afterwards)
  • No ring bearer/flower girl
    No unity candle/sand ceremony
    No receiving line
    No limos
    No send-off
    No garter/bouquet tosses
    Large floral or other decorations - simple centerpieces only

    We did, however do a wine/love letter ceremony in which we put a bottle of wine and letter to each other into a box decorated by my grandmother. we're to open the box, drink the wine, and read the letters on our 10th anniversary.

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  • We're still planning, so this list may change...

    We're not doing:

    -alcohol - neither of us drink
    -limo
    -big exit from church (ceremony and reception are at the same site)
    -not sure on the receiving line...
    -rehearsal dinner - although inlaws volunteered for this, they were also willing to put the funds for this towards a different aspect.  (I suggested if they wanted, the photographer, as it would last alot longer!)


    not sure what else, we'll just have to see when we get there. Wink
  • I think you can nix pretty much whatever you want.  There aren't "rules" anymore like there used to be. my only concern is the save the dates.  I think it's more polite to notify guests ahead of time of the the day and place of your wedding for their convenience.  Now, if you choose to do that another way, that would be fine too, but I think STD's can be important for guests who have demanding jobs or who are traveling to attend your wedding and need to make plans well ahead of the actual invitations.
  • Still trying to decide on the receiving line...No limo, garter or bouquet toss, ring bearer, engagement photo session, head table and no entrance to the reception, or cake (cupcakes instead).

  • edited March 2010
    We're not doing a lot of the things on your list either-

    No:
    Receiving line
    Flower girl / Ring bearer
    Head table or even a sweetheart table
    Religion
    Readings during the ceremony
    Unity candle / sand ceremony
    Kids
    Bouquet / Garter toss

    We are also toying with the idea of not having the bridesmaids walk down the aisle. We might have them just come in from the side and stand there like the groomsmen often do. Do what works for you!
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  • We're having a smaller wedding with family and a few friends, around 80 people, and we want to highlight the importance of the day (us) and make it really unique.  Here's what we're doing differently:

    -getting dressed at my sister's gorgeous house instead of the church, and escorted to the church in our limo
    -no bridal party
    -no ring bearer or flower girl
    -no escort or "giving away of the bride"
    -all guests sitting in balcony of church (best view)
    -no unity candle or sand
    -ceremony at 11, reception right after until 4, so no big dance at reception
    -no special readings or songs (we'll have a mixed CD of songs)
    -no DJ at reception (we'll have ipod playlists and stereo)
    -no wedding cake (my sister's making cupcakes as a gift to us)
    -no morning after gift opening party (we're leaving for Jamaica 6AM the next day)

    My sister wanted to throw me a bridal shower, so I invited women from his family and mine and a few friends.  I really wanted a limo, a full-length white dress w/ a train, a veil, a fancy up-do, and fresh flowers (princess at heart).  We felt a good photographer was worth spending the money on, since we want to remember this day forever and quality pictures are very important to us.  Since the photog provides a free engagement photo sitting, we're using our engagement pics on our wedding invitations...designed and ordered online.  We almost didn't have a reception, but we really want our family at the wedding, and felt it was necessary to show our appreciation for their support by providing a meal, have the chance to visit with them after the ceremony, be announced as husband and wife, feed eachother cupcake, and have our first dance.  We didn't want to start our lives already in debt, so we planned a wedding within our means.  Our budget was less than $10K, including a 7 night Jamaican honeymoon.
  • No garter toss
    No bouquet toss
    No ring bearer

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  • Just starting to figure stuff out here as i'm newly engaged.

    Here's what we won't do:
    - Huge BP - only my sister and one of his brother's
    - receiving line
    - father/daughter dance or mother/son dance
    - garter or bouquet toss - there are only 2-3 single people left in the family.
    - a big wedding - we're only having immediate family and one or two close friends.
    - buffet lunch or dinner
    - candy or dessert bar
    - Spend more than our targeted budget :)

    What we'll probably do:
    - brunch or lunch reception
    - wedding cake
    - engagement pics (this is a DO since we have an appt this month for them)
    - destination wedding
    - invitations but more than likely DIY
    - save the dates - some of my family lives out of the area and need time to plan their days off.
    - Fri or Sun ceremony and reception
    - wedding favors
    ~~~Lynsey~~~
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