Time gap between ceremony and reception

jimmyandkatie · May 2011

Hey everyone,

My ceremony will be starting at 3pm and will end around 3:45ish (it's Catholic). My cocktail hour will be starting at 5. The reception venue is about 20 mins away but I thought most guests would stay for a little while at the church to talk and such, and a lot of the people will be in the pictures becuase it's mostly family. Do you think the hour long wait is too long for guests to wait? I really wanted a lot of time for pictures so I did not feel rushed and I wanted to attend the end of my cocktail hour because I wanted to get some of the greetings out of the way so I could enjoy my day more. The other option would be having the cocktail hour start at 4:30.

sarahtree · May 2011

I've seen way worse gaps than yours. It's nice however, to have a drink when guests arrive at 4:30. I would definitely move the cocktail hour to 4:30.

ootmother2 · May 2011

That's not a bad gap. I say anything over an hour or so you should provide entertainment/refreshments for the guests.

JadziaDax · May 2011

I don't think it's a long gap- especially for a Catholic wedding. I would keep the cocktail hour at 5PM. Even at 5PM, I feel you're cutting it close.

ootmother2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:59457e88-d326-4e43-b684-ffaeeacb1c08">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]OOT- I agree that it's not a bad gap, but she has the option to have virtually no gap, which I think would be much more thoughtful to her guests. ETA: Thinking about it more, this gap would kind of suck because it's not really enough time to do anything besides drive to the venue and wait. If it were say, 2 hours, then at least people could grab a drink at a bar or something.
Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]

haha, you're right

I was thinking about trying to drive anyplace in DC. That requires an extra half an hour for me

JadziaDax · May 2011

If the reception site is 20 minutes away from the ceremony, she will have to keep in mind the possibility of traffic- i've also heard of limo drivers getting lost (which sounds ridiculous) but it has happened. If anything is delayed or the day does not run on schedule, taking pics may take longer and no one wants to end up rushing to their reception.

jimmyandkatie · May 2011

@bree what is the time frame for your wedding?

JadziaDax · May 2011

I'm not completely disagreeing with you Bree- I actually changed my cocktail hour start time from 6 to 5 to shorten the gap I am having. To me, an hour isn't really too bad but I am very used to Catholic weddings and almost every one i've been to has had a gap so it may be the norm in my area.

And as much as people should give themselves a time limit, no matter what you are doing, you should always give extra time and plan ahead for unforeseen setbacks.

DramaGeek · May 2011

I still don't understand gaps. So, assuming that the ceremony is over at 3:45 and guests leave at 4, they get to the reception venue at 4:20. Is the venue open, can they at least go inside, or do they have to wait in the car until 4:30? Ten minutes waiting in the car isn't bad, but if the cocktail hour isn't until 5, then what? You're looking at 40 minutes or so. I don't want to sit in the car for 40 minutes while I wait for the reception to start!

So my vote is 4:30, because while 10 minutes of waiting would make me cranky, 40 minutes would almost guarantee that I'd go home and not come back.

jimmyandkatie · May 2011

@bree how long is your ceremony and how far away is the reception place?

jimmyandkatie · May 2011

Is 40 minutes enough time for pictures?? I just don't want to get my photos back and regret not having more.

jimmyandkatie · May 2011

Ugh... I guess I'll just change it to 4:30

ootmother2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:8f2115a7-9c12-457c-a62d-fcd90feaeb70">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Is 40 minutes enough time for pictures?? I just don't want to get my photos back and regret not having more.
Posted by jimmyandkatie[/QUOTE]

It should be unless you're going far out for the photos

DramaGeek · May 2011

katie, are you doing any photos ahead of time? You can easily do all the photos without both of you pre-ceremony. So, you and your family, you with the BMs, you with the GMs, fi with his family, fi with GMs, fi with BMs. As for how much time you need for photos with you together, it really depends. But you would have from 4 until about 5, right? You could leave the reception at 5 and get there at 5:20, with 10 minutes left in the cocktail hour. Or, extend cocktail "hour" to an hour fifteen to give you 15 more minutes for photos. We only took 2 hours of photos total, I can't imagine you'd need more than an hour after the ceremony.

JadziaDax · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:8f2115a7-9c12-457c-a62d-fcd90feaeb70">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Is 40 minutes enough time for pictures?? I just don't want to get my photos back and regret not having more.
Posted by jimmyandkatie[/QUOTE]

Maybe some of the married women can answer this 'cause I honestly don't know and was wondering the same thing.

DramaGeek · May 2011

You can also take some photos at the reception, if you need/want to.

JadziaDax · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:20497d2c-9d19-4346-9fbc-894ca02bf136">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception : Obviously I'm not married yet but I'll tell you what my photographer told me. Originally, I wanted my ceremony to start at 6:30, 7:30 cocktail 'hour,' and for dinner to be at 8:15. My photographer said he really would want about an hour to do the photos, as 45 minutes might cut it a bit short and/or limit us in how far away we could walk to take the pictures. I thought about it and he was right so I made the necessary changes.
Posted by bree4305[/QUOTE]

You are lucky you found a beautiful venue across the street from the Ceremony site. Traveling by car from ceremony to reception can be a pain.

jimmyandkatie · May 2011

We are not really traveling for pictures, so I guess it will be okay. Did any of you have problems with guests trying to talk to you right after the ceremony that caused delays in everything. We are going to have a recieving line after the ceremony. How long does that take?

DramaGeek · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:d0a49881-087b-4322-bfee-82767137043c">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]We are not really traveling for pictures, so I guess it will be okay. Did any of you have problems with guests trying to talk to you right after the ceremony that caused delays in everything. <strong>We are going to have a recieving line after the ceremony. How long does that take?</strong>
Posted by jimmyandkatie[/QUOTE]

<div>Depends on how many guests you have.</div>

Ghoti · May 2011

Talk to your photographer OP, she can give you an estimate of how much time she'll need for the size of your group.

jimmyandkatie · May 2011

only 60 guests

Ghoti · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:800c4259-981b-4ec8-8fb4-ef97b855ed8b">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]only 60 guests
Posted by jimmyandkatie[/QUOTE]
How many in your wedding party, and how far is the location you want photos from the ceremony and reception venue?

jeng5077 · May 2011

i'm confused, why is a time gap such a bad thing?? My ceremony is at noon (will prob end by 12:45) and my cocktail hour doesn't start til 5:30. My reception is about an hour (maybe less) driving distance from the ceremony...but really, what is the big deal? My FI and I have a lot of places we would like to take pics and we will actually be almost rushing to get to the reception by 5:30. I actually think it would be rude if one of my guests were to tell me that they were "offended" or "annoyed" because of the gap....this is my wedding day and I would like to have pictures to remember it by. Is that so wrong?

Ghoti · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:28a51ca5-f792-4ef6-b84d-d2327aa16afa">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm confused, why is a time gap such a bad thing?? My ceremony is at noon (will prob end by 12:45) and my cocktail hour doesn't start til 5:30. My reception is about an hour (maybe less) driving distance from the ceremony...but really, what is the big deal? My FI and I have a lot of places we would like to take pics and we will actually be almost rushing to get to the reception by 5:30. I actually think it would be rude if one of my guests were to tell me that they were "offended" or "annoyed" because of the gap....this is my wedding day and I would like to have pictures to remember it by. Is that so wrong?
Posted by jeng5077[/QUOTE]<div>It is no longer "Your Wedding Day" when you invite other people to join your day. I'm not going to touch on the rest of it, since you seem to be an "etiquette be damned" bride. <font face="arial, sans-serif" class="Apple-style-span" color="#000000"><span style="line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><strong><font face="Arial, sans-serif" class="Apple-style-span" color="#1F1F1F"><span style="font-weight:normal;line-height:14px;" class="Apple-style-span">
</span></font></strong></span></font></div>

jess9802 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:28a51ca5-f792-4ef6-b84d-d2327aa16afa">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]i'm confused, why is a time gap such a bad thing?? My ceremony is at noon (will prob end by 12:45) and my cocktail hour doesn't start til 5:30. My reception is about an hour (maybe less) driving distance from the ceremony...but really, what is the big deal? My FI and I have a lot of places we would like to take pics and we will actually be almost rushing to get to the reception by 5:30. I actually think it would be rude if one of my guests were to tell me that they were "offended" or "annoyed" because of the gap....this is my wedding day and I would like to have pictures to remember it by. Is that so wrong?
Posted by jeng5077[/QUOTE]

Do you think you'll need nearly five hours of posed pictures in order to remember your wedding day?

It's annoying to have to kill time between a ceremony and a reception. A bit of a gap isn't a problem - at one wedding I appreciated having the time to go back to my hotel and freshen up my hair and makeup. But otherwise, it's hard to kill that much time, especially if you're in a strange city. So you have your guests dressed up and sitting around twiddling their thumbs for four or five hours, which isn't enough time to really do anything else. And your ceremony is running over the lunch hour, but you're not going to provide hospitality to your guests until dinner. That would be off-putting as a guest, too.

Beazilla · May 2011

If you're asking most of your guests to stick around for photos after the ceremony, I wouldn't start the cocktail hour until 5pm. An hour doesn't seem like a bad gap and it might be awkward to only have a few guests at an earlier cocktail hour if most people are still at the ceremony site taking family pictures.

jeng5077 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:eeb1a905-a96c-42f9-aa3a-cd151d8c2630">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception : It is no longer "Your Wedding Day" when you invite other people to join your day. I'm not going to touch on the rest of it, since you seem to be an "etiquette be damned" bride.
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

It is no longer "My wedding day" just because I want friends and family to share it with me? That makes no sense at all! Yes I realize when you invite other people, you need to keep their feelings in mind also, but that does not make it any less my wedding day. I never understood that whole "It's not your day once you invite people to share it with you"....there wouldn't even be a reception or cocktail hour if WE weren't exchanging vows and hosting a wedding, so yes it is still MY wedding day....and if we want to have a couple hours in between to take some pictures I really don't think the guests have a right to be "annoyed" about that, or at least say anything if they are. Which BTW none of my guests seem to mind....they are all just excited to share in our love and new marriage (I mean that IS what the whole day is about right?!) the only people who seem to have an issue with it are the girls on here

Ghoti · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:08b6c2bc-fa8d-49c0-9b5b-40242782d183">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception : It is no longer "My wedding day" just because I want friends and family to share it with me? That makes no sense at all! Yes I realize when you invite other people, you need to keep their feelings in mind also, but that does not make it any less my wedding day. I never understood that whole "It's not your day once you invite people to share it with you"....there wouldn't even be a reception or cocktail hour if WE weren't exchanging vows and hosting a wedding, so yes it is still MY wedding day....and if we want to have a couple hours in between to take some pictures I really don't think the guests have a right to be "annoyed" about that, or at least say anything if they are. Which BTW none of my guests seem to mind....they are all just excited to share in our love and new marriage (I mean that IS what the whole day is about right?!) the only people who seem to have an issue with it are the girls on here
Posted by jeng5077[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Watch out, your youth is showing. Enjoy your PPD!</div><div>
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jeng5077 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:97709409-a48e-4812-b9eb-d7693ddb9ef1">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception : Do you think you'll need nearly five hours of posed pictures in order to remember your wedding day? It's annoying to have to kill time between a ceremony and a reception. A bit of a gap isn't a problem - at one wedding I appreciated having the time to go back to my hotel and freshen up my hair and makeup. But otherwise, it's hard to kill that much time, especially if you're in a strange city. So you have your guests dressed up and sitting around twiddling their thumbs for four or five hours, which isn't enough time to really do anything else. And your ceremony is running over the lunch hour, but you're not going to provide hospitality to your guests until dinner. That would be off-putting as a guest, too.
Posted by jess9802[/QUOTE]

Liek I said it's almost an hour from ceremony site to reception site and we are stopping in the middle at 3 or 4 places to take pics....we figure we won't even leave the ceremony city until about 2ish because we are taking family pics at the church. Thats gives us about 2 hours to take pics downtown (while driving to all the different places) before getting to the reception around 5ish. I realize it may be an inconvenience but there is an attached hotel which most of our guests are staying at, so they can check in and/or relax before the cocktail hour....plus there is an open bar with small appetizers down in the hotel lobby for the guests if they decide to do that also. If I were a guest at my wedding, I would not at all feel put out with the options that are available....plus I would (as a guest) be there to show love and excitment for the newly married couple, so it's really not about what I think, but I guess thats my opinion

jeng5077 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:46b62dd9-2933-49d6-bf06-f0db6f5d61c7">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception : <strong>Watch out, your youth is showing</strong>. Enjoy your PPD!
Posted by Ghoti[/QUOTE]

How is that exactly? What part of what I said is not a fact? Even if you don't agree with a gap, it does not make it any less of the day my FI and I get married, which equals MY WEDDING DAY, does it not??

And who doesn't want to be a "princess" for a day??

Ghoti · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-gap-between-ceremony-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:874ad18d-17e1-4bf6-bfde-a79f45f214dbPost:0d739bb8-cb76-4b9a-b311-1600e3cd9ee0">Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Time gap between ceremony and reception : How is that exactly? What part of what I said is not a fact? Even if you don't agree with a gap, it does not make it any less of the day my FI and I get married, which equals MY WEDDING DAY, does it not?? And who doesn't want to be a "princess" for a day??
Posted by jeng5077[/QUOTE]<div>Mature adults don't feel the need to be a "princess" at the expense of their guests comfort.

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Time gap between ceremony and reception

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