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Classy 101

asabbasabb
100 Comments
in African American Weddings
My FI & I have been living together for about a year and a half now & I've had my own apartment since I was 18. When it comes to having a registry...I don't plan on having one. We have everything we need in that regard & would scream if I got 2 toasters & 4 blenders! How should we go about having a wishing well without making it look like we're "asking" for money. I've read that it's tacky to have one and that you should not print any information on your invitations about it or your registry. What do you ladies think??
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Re: Classy 101

  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think not registering as opposed to having a really small registry is how you end up with two toasters and four blenders. We have all of the things that we need as well, but still registered because we believe that those who want to give money, will give money, but those who are would prefer to buy a gift will do that whether they have our guidance or not...sorry if I am not of any help to you.

    SN: I always give a card and money at weddings, but I probably would do the opposite if I felt that I was asked to do so. I don't know why I find it offensive, but I do. Just tread lightly on this. I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority with my opinion on this topic.
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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks that was helpful! If you don't mind me asking, if you have everything you need what did you pick for your registry...random stuff??
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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    No...more like things that are nice to have, but that I really don't miss or won't miss until we start doing some real entertaining at the house.

    Some of the things we put on are barware (wine, martini, doubles, etc and bar tools), wine cabinet, carafe, decanter, iron, stand mixer, hand mixer, baking supplies (since I'm getting into that), sheet sets (since we will probably redecorate some things), towels (can you ever really have enough), garage parking laser...

    I didn't do china, pots and pans, vacuums, etc.
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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay thanks for your help!
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  • msapril0730msapril0730 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I also did a small registry, FI and I have been living together for about 4 years so we have everything. I didn't include my registry info on the invite but I provided our website address on the reception card.

    You can also register for upgrades for some of the itmes you already have.
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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:fced3a65-97d9-4507-85d9-3f51761fa230">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]I also did a small registry, FI and I have been living together for about 4 years so we have everything. I didn't include my registry info on the invite but I provided our website address on the reception card. You can also register for upgrades for some of the itmes you already have.
    Posted by msapril0730[/QUOTE]

    Okay thanks. But we're not having "reception cards" because everything is at the same location so should I print our website under the "Reception to follow" line?
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  • raganwraganw
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    FI and I have been living together for a while so we only registered for a few things we didn't have (formal stemware, etc).  Otherwise, when people asked where we're registered, we would joke around and say "Wachovia and HSBC - hahaha" and then tell them the real answer.  Somehow, they've managed to get the hint...

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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    And should I register "budget friendly" or just whatever I want. Like picking WalMart as opposed to Macy's??
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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:2f824325-7f9b-4841-83ab-0667a2f18903">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]And should I register "budget friendly" or just whatever I want. Like picking WalMart as opposed to Macy's??
    Posted by asabb[/QUOTE]

    Pick the store that you want, but try to include a range of prices.
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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:537870a7-b9f3-4f90-9edb-93f0e7e81970">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI and I have been living together for a while so we only registered for a few things we didn't have (formal stemware, etc).  Otherwise, when people asked where we're registered, we would joke around and say "Wachovia and HSBC - hahaha" and then tell them the real answer.  Somehow, they've managed to get the hint...
    Posted by raganw[/QUOTE]

    LMBO...this is so stolen. FI and I are officially registered at Bank of America and Chase! Can't wait to tell him this!
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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:537870a7-b9f3-4f90-9edb-93f0e7e81970">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI and I have been living together for a while so we only registered for a few things we didn't have (formal stemware, etc).  Otherwise, when people asked where we're registered, we would joke around and say "Wachovia and HSBC - hahaha" and then tell them the real answer.  Somehow, they've managed to get the hint...
    Posted by raganw[/QUOTE]

    LMBO! I love it!
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  • eagles347eagles347
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:9f5e0a4b-b7b9-4ec8-9732-d9b696135b9b">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]Okay thanks for your help!
    Posted by asabb[/QUOTE]

    You're welcome! :)
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  • banks69banks69
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I'm really feeling the "Bank of America and Chase" responses....


    My situation is similiar - my FI and I do not live together, but we've had our homes for about 10 years and I recently did some updating thanks to Hurricane Ike, so we really don't need anything (other than cash, of course).  However, some more mature friends/family members of mine told me that I should have a registry anyway for those who do not like to give money for gifts - so I did.  Hopefully, we should have enough bed and bath linens and bakeware to last us the rest of our lives!

    I don't plan to put anything on the invite/reception card regarding our preference for cash, but I have friends and family who will discreetly spread the word that it is our preference.

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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks banks69...hopefully our family will spread the word for us too lol
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  • 1TriniDiva1TriniDiva
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:a3df6d62-5594-4c99-8810-e2aeefe2c1c8">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think not registering as opposed to having a really small registry is how you end up with two toasters and four blenders. We have all of the things that we need as well, but still registered because we believe that those who want to give money, will give money, but those who are would prefer to buy a gift will do that whether they have our guidance or not...sorry if I am not of any help to you. SN: I always give a card and money at weddings, but I probably would do the opposite if I felt that I was asked to do so. I don't know why I find it offensive, but I do. Just tread lightly on this. I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority with my opinion on this topic.
    Posted by eagles347[/QUOTE]

    THIS!!
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  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:d0accf7a-cbd2-40c7-9e41-1903d999d9bf">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm really feeling the "Bank of America and Chase" responses.... My situation is similiar - my FI and I do not live together, but we've had our homes for about 10 years and I recently did some updating thanks to Hurricane Ike, so we really don't need anything (other than cash, of course).  However, some more mature friends/family members of mine told me that I should have a registry anyway for those who do not like to give money for gifts - so I did.  Hopefully, we should have enough bed and bath linens and bakeware to last us the rest of our lives! I don't plan to put anything on the invite/reception card regarding our preference for cash, but I have friends and family who will discreetly spread the word that it is our preference.
    Posted by banks69[/QUOTE]

    <div>Hello fellow Houston knottie!!! {Yeah, has nothing to do with the OP.}</div>

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  • 1TriniDiva1TriniDiva
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:537870a7-b9f3-4f90-9edb-93f0e7e81970">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]FI and I have been living together for a while so we only registered for a few things we didn't have (formal stemware, etc).  Otherwise, when people asked where we're registered, we would joke around and say "Wachovia and HSBC - hahaha" and then tell them the real answer.  Somehow, they've managed to get the hint...
    Posted by raganw[/QUOTE]

    Love this!!
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  • msapril0730msapril0730 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_classy-101?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:18c027d4-e5a1-40de-a66d-eec131b31f66Post:86b29801-dde5-4c73-89b8-c902c22935ad">Re: Classy 101</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Classy 101 : Okay thanks. But we're not having "reception cards" because everything is at the same location so should I print our website under the "Reception to follow" line?
    Posted by asabb[/QUOTE]

    You can print the website on the bottom of the invite if it will fit or you can print it on some lightweight cardstock and include it their with the invite.

    Have you thought about a honeymoon registry?
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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @msapril No how does that work??
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  • admallardadmallard
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    @asabb: If you want more info on honeymoon registeries check out http://www.honeymoonwishes.com or http://www.honeyfund.com. Basically instead of cash your guest are donating towards your honeymoon. A lot of ppl think it's tacky but I don't see anything wrong with it if you don't think it would offend your family. My FI and I are doing a honeymoon registry and everyone in our family is fine with it. We live together also and instead of getting random gifts or cash, our family is helping us go on a honeymoon that we most likely wouldn't be able to afford due to this wedding we're planning! But everyone is different and everyone's family reacts to things differently. Fortunately our families are cool with it and we've already gotten some donations on our registry!
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  • asabbasabb
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    @ admallard & msapril- Thanks a bunch...I like that ideal better! Thanks again ladies!

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