Baby Shower Craziness

samanthajeremy · April 2011

I have a very good high school friend who for the last 3 years had been trying to get preggo. It finally happened and now she has flooded our facebook walls, personal emails, and whatnot with information on her baby. I understand she is excited but I am not alone when I say enough is enough. We all know she is having a girl, and will be named Emelynn. She is due in July and has just now started to think about a shower.

Besides myself getting married June 25, our other very good friend is getting married Aug 6. Mom-to-be is due July 21 and is in the Aug 6 wedding. Mom to be emailed about 30 of us two weeks ago for our addresses so she could get baby shower invites out, included the date as well. Last night I get an uppdated email that she is now having 2 showers and gave a list of Fri and Sat in the next 3 months that she has open, wanting us to facebook her back with what works best for us to attend. This itself is annoying me and a bit tacky, don't you think.

Here's a question for you ladies... she mentioned Fri would be a dinner or Sat would be a brunch/lunch outing. Knowing who is throwing this shower for her, and their lack of finances, I'm assuming we will probably be paying for our own meals on top of her baby gift. Does this seem tacky? Have you experienced this before?

JadziaDax · April 2011

Who is throwing her the baby shower? I've never been to a shower where I had to pay for my own meal- yes, that would be tacky.

NcsuPsych · April 2011

I think her hormones may be out of wack. However congrats to her expecting!

With that said, yes, I would find it rather tacky to have to go to a persons shower and pay for my own meal. It'd be one thing if ya'll were doing like a 'girls day out' (where I'd fully expect to pay my own way), but typically the host of the showers takes care of the finances (to my understanding) and if that host isnt in a good financial spot, I find it rude of the Mama to be to be pushing for the shower so much.

does any of that even make sense? I've been writing papers all day long *sigh*

Ultimatly, yes, I would find it slightly tacky to pay my way when attending a shower. It'd be similar to the whole 'Doe Stag Shower' or whatever it is where you pay an 'admissions' fee to get into the shower.

aegrish · April 2011

Once the invites come out, if it's at a restaurant I would casually ask what the menu's going to be. Most restaurants require fixed menus for larger groups or private parties. If she says you can order anything off the menu, that's probably a good hint you'll be paying, and if so she should mention that it's not hosted (which is beyond tacky, it's rude). I wouldnt go and I'd send a gift.

Cynthia1207 · April 2011

Actually around here, for wedding showers, it's quite common to ask people to cover a certain amount for their plate. It's accepted so in that case I have no problem with it. NOT for baby showers. Baby showers are usually a low-key affair around here...

If it's not customary for you to ask for a ''cover'' fee (which I'm guessing isn't) then yes I find it tacky. Especially for a baby shower. And I agree, the constant pregnancy updates get freakin annoying.

MairePoppy · April 2011

I've never heard of the mom to be organizing her own shower. She should have just given her guest list to the hosts and let them handle the invitations. Yes, it's tacky to expect the guests to pay for their own meals. But until you get the official invitation, how would you know what the plan is? The whole thing is strange.

On the other matter of her pregnancy talk, I would cut her some slack.But then, I don't mind hearing about ultrasounds, baby names, decorating the nursery etc....as long as I don't have to see the delivery video.

If she is posting most of this stuff on facebook, you have the option of ignoring it.

misscyndikalene · April 2011

When my FMIL threw me my baby shower, she paid for everyone to have food. She is a single mom, put 2 boys through catholic school and one year of private college, plus shes a teacher and is seriously underpaid. That being said, I do think its kinda tacky for someone to assume for ppl to pay for their own meals at their shower. Im from Orange County in So Cal and I feel like the person throwing it is in charge of everything, including food, favors, and venue. If they cant afford to buy everyone meals, they should have a party at home with finger foods and party platters.

But I dont think FB messages are tacky either. If its a low key thing and not super formal, FB is a great way to communicate with everyone.

aegrish · April 2011

Yeah I've been to very low key showers where there was only cake/punch. nothing wrong with that if you can't afford an entire meal. Although meals are nice especially at lunch or dinner time.

kgettingmarried · April 2011

Tacky.

Moms to be should never host their own showers. Ever.

Also if they can't afford to buy everyone a meal, then they need to make it a mid-afternoon event and only serve snacks and cake/ice cream/punch.

My shower cost under $100 when it was all said and done, and no one was asked to pay for anything. I didn't even tell people where I registered, they asked the host to find out.

[Deleted User] · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_baby-shower-craziness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:9c31b367-a24c-4747-aee4-15a2664471e5Post:185a5335-d310-4398-b508-8a331466d764">Re: Baby Shower Craziness</a>:
[QUOTE]Who is throwing her the baby shower? I've never been to a shower where I had to pay for my own meal- yes, that would be tacky.
Posted by JadziaDax[/QUOTE]

I'm picking the same BQT as you!!!!

Random, sorry.

LP11509 · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_baby-shower-craziness?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:9c31b367-a24c-4747-aee4-15a2664471e5Post:dd7b5e74-22ce-4a0f-9b2d-fea147c0f16a">Re: Baby Shower Craziness</a>:
[QUOTE]I've never heard of the mom to be organizing her own shower. She should have just given her guest list to the hosts and let them handle the invitations. Yes, it's tacky to expect the guests to pay for their own meals. But until you get the official invitation, how would you know what the plan is? The whole thing is strange. On the other matter of her pregnancy talk, I would cut her some slack.But then, I don't mind hearing about ultrasounds, baby names, decorating the nursery etc....as long as I don't have to see the delivery video.<strong> If she is posting most of this stuff on facebook, you have the option of ignoring it.</strong>
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>One of my friends had a home birth with a midwife. So she had a huge birthing tub set up in her living room. She posted pictures on FB of her naked, in the tub, giving birth. You couldn't really see any "naughty" parts, but still. She also posted pictures of her son still attached to the umbilical cord and covered in blood etc. She only had them up for about a month before they came down - not sure if it was because someone told her it was creepy, or if she somehow was violating FB TOS, or what...but yeah. It was weird. </div>

Baby Shower Craziness

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