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would it be bad if...

brooke.jumpbrooke.jump
in Wedding Party
i got engaged about 2 weeks ago and my bff and i were thrilled. we had already decided that she would be my moh and everything was great. once i finally got engaged though she completely shut off. she could care less that she had already committed to this and that i'm going to need soooooo much help.  anytime i mention anything wedding related she just starts talking about herself.  i'm 98% positive that if i just never mention the wedding to her ever again she wouldnt notice. would it be wrong to just let her slip out of the picture??
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Re: would it be bad if...

  • stina93446stina93446 member
    2500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-bad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:c8538076-cf5f-4054-b105-003a3a40beb6Post:99d4b4eb-55aa-47b4-b5c0-4a416edc7590">Re: would it be bad if...</a>:
    [QUOTE]rephrase of my original situation: would it be wrong to not include her in anything other than showing up dressed
    Posted by brooke.jump[/QUOTE]
    Invite her and let HER decide whether or not she wants to participate.
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  • suz62984suz62984
    1000 Comments
    No it wouldn't be wrong. Don't stress out about your MOH; if she wants to help she will ask. Otherwise your energy will be put to better use marking things off your wedding to-do list. 

    Don't let all of this be too overwhelming for you. Just take it one task at a time. If you need help or opinions on colors, invites, etc ask the boards here or email a friend/family member. I have 5 BMs in 5 states(none of which are mine) and emails, with pic attachments, are my friend.
    Anniversary
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If you want to invite her along to something, make the offer, but don't take it personally if she doesn't seem interested. Remember that someone doesn't have to be thrilled about your wedding plans to be supportive of your marriage. The two are completely different things.

    Not everyone is into wedding plans, especially when it's not their own wedding. It can be boring to hear about someone else's ideas and plans. Who knows, maybe she doesn't agree with your ideas and rather than rudely telling you so, she is trying to avoid the topic in order to spare your feelings. Or, if she's single, maybe she's depressed that you're getting married and she's not.

    If you need to bounce ideas off someone, the Knot is great for that. People here care about weddings because that's the point of this message board.
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  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Why not just invite her but let her decide?  If she takes an interest and wants to help then great.  If she doesn't then she just buys the dress and shows up.
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  • jagore08jagore08 member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Everyday it's the same "WP drama" over and over again.  

    STOP ASKING YOUR BRIDAL PARTY AS SOON AS YOU GET ENGAGED!

    Stop thinking that you need their help.  It's not their wedding so they are allowed to not give a sh!t.  Need help with the planning?  Ask your FI.  He's the one you're marrying not your BM, MOH, mom, or your "personal attendant"!
    Ignorance is a poor defense. Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You've only mentioned it 5-6 times in two weeks?  That averages out to every other day. 

    What exactly DO you want your friend to do to show her excitement? You're the one getting married, not her.  She doesn't have to be falling all over herself with giddiness.  That's your role.

    Invite her to the things you want to invite her to.  And if she says no, accept it graciously.  And relax.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Sorry, all I can hear in your posts is "mememememe it's all about ME!"
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

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