I found this interesting

mob2689 · May 2011

I am almost certain , well am positive the Insurance age has changed, have your parents pay for your insurance and get married for "real" and "right" reasons

calindi · May 2011

Uh... what you're doing is ILLEGAL according to military law. My FI was recently asked to represent a discharged service member who had JOP'd in secret and was overheard telling a bunkmate that the only reason they did it was for separation pay while he was deployed. The main argument that the prosecution used against him in his court martial was that he wasn't living as a married couple - they were calling each other 'fiance' instead of 'husband/wife', they weren't wearing wedding rings, their families were unaware that they were married. He was accused of false representation as well as fraud and was dishonorably discharged. And now he can't get a good civilian job because of the dishonorable on his discharge papers, so he was paying a lawyer to try to get the discharge upgraded to neutral.

So go ahead... you're being selfish and immature. You'll hurt your families and quite possibly ruin your guy's career with the military. Sure, not everyone gets caught, and everyone knows someone who did it and got away with it, but that doesn't make it right and it certainly doesn't make it acceptable. If you know your families would mind so much that you JOP'd, then they'll be super hurt when they find out that you got married without even telling them.

Needing insurance isn't a reason. I need insurance - and I'm doing like any other person, paying for it myself. And if you so desperately need it, then your families would likely understand and then you can have a small JOP and a big vow renewal for your family to celebrate later. There's absolutely no reason for lying.

kara811 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:f340bebe-8676-42ac-91e5-05d227f25aa4">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]I am almost certain , well am positive the Insurance age has changed, have your parents pay for your insurance and get married for "real" and "right" reasons
Posted by mob2689[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Yes. If OP is under 26, she's required by law to have insurance. So her parents can put her on their plan. This was part of Obama Care. </div><div>
</div><div>Edit: spelling </div>

calindi · May 2011

And before you go calling me a big meanie, have your guy go ask the JAG Officer on his base if it's recommended to get married in secret or if that goes against military law. If he won't ask, then that's a sign that he knows what you're doing is against the policy. And if he does ask, you'll be told not to do it if you have even a mediocre JAG Officer.

SamiJoeB · May 2011

My FI just told me about a case at his military pro bono internship this spring with a guy who was as Lance Corporal in the Marines who JOP’d in secret and was waiting for their wedding a year later. He was overheard by his commanding officer discussing that the only reason they got married was for the separation pay while he was deployed. He got court martialed and dishonorably discharged. No joke. He was at the pro bono clinic to try to get the dishonorably discharge changed to a neutral discharge (I forget the terminology) so that it wouldn't hinder him from finding a civilian job. The argument they used in court to discharge him was that he was not LIVING as a married couple (they weren’t telling people they were married, not wearing wedding rings, calling each other FI instead of husband/wife, etc.) so thus his marriage was not done for the purpose of being married but rather to collect benefits from the military. Illegal, immoral, and wrong. And can get the service member involved court martialed and possibly bounced out of his job. Not likely to happen, and everyone knows someone who’s done it and gotten away with it, but that doesn’t make it right.

Simple solution – if you SO BADLY need to get married right now, well then go for it! Get married! And tell people you’re married, and be married. And if you want to have a vow renewal ‘wedding day’ later, then go for it. The people who understand and care about you will be there, and ultimately if this is what is best for you both, then those are the people who are important in your life. But to lie to those closest to you, as well as the military, is just wrong.-Calindi

I couldn't quote that because it was on another post about someone else making this same dumb decision. Basically, you're commiting fraud. Hope you sleep well at night.

KendallR10 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:22bd8cdd-d1cd-4ba2-8c41-0409cb828569">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]God forbid but I hope she doesn't say "Oh they may have passed then and they would never know" (The g'parents) Any ways, your marriage will be doomed. Insurance is NOT the reason for getting married. How old are you?
Posted by mob2689[/QUOTE]
19 and if my grandfather does pass before then I won't be having another wedding

Beachy730 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:78b7b108-e339-4ca6-a8d6-f41bd216b94f">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : 19 and if my grandfather does pass before then I won't be having another wedding
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>Well that just cleared up ANY confusion. You're really acting your age here. If the wedding is only for your grandfather, why can't you just do a very small wedding now. Or have them come to the JOP, or go there, and go out to a nice dinner after? I seriously just CAN'T understand how it's so important for him to see you get married, yet you're knowingly cheating him out of that.</div>

mob2689 · May 2011

2 things that 99.9% of the time will not make a marriage work for any length of time. If you:
1.) Lie about your marriage.
2) because you are pregnant.

ggirl2001 · May 2011

FFS... What part about lying do people not get???? FI and I considererd doing this for about a minute because he wanted me to be down with him on base to spend time before his deployment because we had been LDR for 2 years. We decided not to because I wanted to do a the wedding, with a shower, and not worry about offending people or having to explain myself. I managed to move down to where he is stationed, get a job, and take care of myself. All without lying to my family members. Weird how that works out. There is NO good reason to lie to family and friends. It's wrong. Insurance is not an excuse, deployment is not an excuse, money is not an excuse. If you're that worried about money, then you should probably hold off on getting married. This goes for anyone, not just military significant others: IF YOU CAN'T TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF YOU SHOULDN'T GET MARRIED TO HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE CARE OF YOU. And yes I yelled that because I believe every single girl on these boards should realize that. Be able to take care of yourself before marriage.

KendallR10 · May 2011

The military will know. Insurance isn't the only reason. Its one of many. LOVE is the biggest reason. My parents will not insure me anymore since I am not living with them.

greeneke2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:5fa5296a-cace-4687-854c-98486557bc50">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : Well that just cleared up ANY confusion. You're really acting your age here. If the wedding is only for your grandfather, why can't you just do a very small wedding now. Or have them come to the JOP, or go there, and go out to a nice dinner after?<strong> I seriously just CAN'T understand how it's so important for him to see you get married, yet you're knowingly cheating him out of that.
</strong>Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>I couldn't have said this better myself.</div>

kara811 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:5fa5296a-cace-4687-854c-98486557bc50">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : Well that just cleared up ANY confusion. You're really acting your age here. If the wedding is only for your grandfather, why can't you just do a very small wedding now. Or have them come to the JOP, or go there, and go out to a nice dinner after? I seriously just CAN'T understand how it's so important for him to see you get married, yet you're knowingly cheating him out of that.
Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Agree. Just have a small wedding now so your grandfather can be there for it. I don't think he's that important to you if you're wanting to lie to his face about your wedding. If this is about insurance, you're 19, ask your parents to put you on theirs if they do have it. If not, there are other alternatives. </div>

mob2689 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:15f65108-e2aa-44b7-9bb7-e512d4d53121">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : Yes. If OP is under 26, she's required by law to have insurance. So her parents can put her on their plang. This was part of Obama Care.
Posted by kara811[/QUOTE]

Yep, love that change! I have my dd and son on mine. What a releif it has been specially when she is miles away! They actualkly pay me half of what I I pay to add them which was kind of them! They insisted.

And it also nulled the reason the OP has. along with all others that want to do it for that stupid reason.

greeneke2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:eb5f76b0-52a3-4bcd-8e7c-2b546dc7305e">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]The military will know. Insurance isn't the only reason. Its one of many. LOVE is the biggest reason. My parents will not insure me anymore since I am not living with them.
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>Of course the military will know, how else would you get the benefits. The point is if anyone finds out that you are lying to everyone else about it, it may not turn out so well for you (on the legal side not just the bad consequences that you'll have to face with you're family)</div><div>
</div><div>And again you can buy your own insurance or be insured through your school if you are a student. And love may be the biggest reason, but if it is how could you lie about it for so long? I couldn't as soon as I'm married I'm going to want to shout it from the rooftops, not be "secretly" married.</div>

greeneke2 · May 2011

Oh and I forgot to add, I love when people use the excuse of getting married by a JOP so they can afford their vow renewal later. What do you think non-military people do to pay for their weddings? They either do a smaller wedding or they have long engagements so that they can save up to pay for the wedding that they want to have.

ggirl2001 · May 2011

I stand by my statement if that you can't take care of yourself either by purchasing insurance or some other way and have to lie about it to family and friends then you should not be getting married. Be able to take care of yourself by yourself before getting married. That's probably the best lesson my mom ever taught me and I'm so thankful for it. My FI are not married (obviously) and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even have me listed on any of his paperwork. If GOD FORBID, something were to happen to him, I would still be able to take care of myself (minus the whole depression etc kind of feelings that go with it).

Beachy730 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:eb5f76b0-52a3-4bcd-8e7c-2b546dc7305e">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]The military will know. Insurance isn't the only reason. Its one of many. LOVE is the biggest reason. My parents will not insure me anymore since I am not living with them.
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>That doesn't answer my question.</div>

mob2689 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:eb5f76b0-52a3-4bcd-8e7c-2b546dc7305e">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]The military will know. Insurance isn't the only reason. Its one of many. LOVE is the biggest reason. My parents will not insure me anymore since I am not living with them.
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]
You can contact thier employer tell them to add you when open enrollment comes and pay for it yourself!! Have llg paper(which can be done for free) between your parents and you that you will pay for all your deductables, and co-insurance!

kara811 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:eb5f76b0-52a3-4bcd-8e7c-2b546dc7305e">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]The military will know. Insurance isn't the only reason. Its one of many. LOVE is the biggest reason. My parents will not insure me anymore since I am not living with them.
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>If love is the biggest reason, then you wouldn't be lying about it. I can never lie about being my H's wife or him being my H. We are proud to be married. </div><div>
</div><div>I understand that things might be easier if you JOP it now, but lying about it is just not right. H and I considered this for a minute too because he got stationed in Japan(this was 3 years ago). We wanted to be together so badly, but we both wanted to have a big wedding with all our family and friends. So we waited and stayed LDR until we got married a couple months ago. </div>

mob2689 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:ce155c6d-82df-401f-935b-97e4ddc2a6fd">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]I stand by my statement if that you can't take care of yourself either by purchasing insurance or some other way and have to lie about it to family and friends then you should not be getting married. Be able to take care of yourself by yourself before getting married. That's probably the best lesson my mom ever taught me and I'm so thankful for it. My FI are not married (obviously) and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even have me listed on any of his paperwork. If GOD FORBID, something were to happen to him, I would still be able to take care of myself (minus the whole depression etc kind of feelings that go with it).
Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]

Love your mom :) I raised my DD the same I would say" I am going to make sure I raise you to be self supported, so you don't <strong>NEED </strong>a man but <strong>WANT</strong> one. I had suceeded and she is ever so thankful and honestly her FI is as well and that is one of the things that caught his attention when they first met.

ggirl2001 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:1d2954f3-8d01-4f58-b11f-4913da997538">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I found this interesting : Love your mom :) I raised my DD the same I would say" I am going to make sure I raise you to be self supported, so you don't NEED a man but WANT one. I had suceeded and she is ever so thankful and honestly her FI is as well and that is one of the things that caught his attention when they first met.
Posted by mob2689[/QUOTE]
EXACTLY! My sister was just talking to my mom about me since I moved away (my mom is all kinds of sad obviously). My sister goes be proud that you raised two independent daughters who will move away from home to start a new life for themselves and found guys who support that independent streak in them. My sister lives in FL now and I live in SC.

mob2689 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:eb5f76b0-52a3-4bcd-8e7c-2b546dc7305e">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]The military will know. Insurance isn't the only reason. Its one of many. LOVE is the biggest reason. My parents will not insure me anymore since I am not living with them.
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE] Then if "love" is the reason it just proves you don't "love" your G'parents you would rather to lie to them! Yes, they both start with the same letter "L" that's the only common thing about the 2 words but the meanig are on oppisite end of the spectrum.

calindi · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:eb5f76b0-52a3-4bcd-8e7c-2b546dc7305e">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]The military will know. Insurance isn't the only reason. Its one of many. LOVE is the biggest reason. My parents will not insure me anymore since I am not living with them.
Posted by KendallR10[/QUOTE]

Of course the military will know, you dumb twat. What would be the point of a secret JOP if not for the insurance? The guy who got dishonorably discharged was planning another wedding later, it didn't matter that they loved each other - it mattered that they DEFRAUDED the military by claiming military benefits for married couples while not presenting themselves publically as a married couple.

If you love him, marry him. But do it publically and openly, not secretly. There is NEVER a reason to lie - it'll hurt your grandfather, it'll possibly get your FI's job in trouble. It's NOT WORTH IT.

Oh, and like I said before - if you think it's all so great, then GO ASK THE JAG OFFICER IF IT IS OKAY. Like I said, he'll tell you no. If you think you're so right, then go ask. If you don't ask, then you know we're right and what you're doing is not only immoral but against military policy.

mob2689 · May 2011

like OP stated she doesn't care what others think, my advice she better think harder. Hope she has enough balls to tell the JAG officer she doesn't care what they think as well.

SamiJoeB · May 2011

Oh!!! If you need insurance so bad, why don't YOU join the military yourself? Then you'll get insurance, plus if you're so insitant on jepordizing your FI's career, you can ruin your own as well... Funny, when I needed insurance, and my parents didn't want to pay for it.. I joined the military, and for 4 years of my service, they gave me insurance, and.. are going to pay for me to go to school. I also met and married the man of my dreams, and didn't lie to anyone about it, Oh!! and we also didn't have to JOP in order to pay for the wedding of our dreams. I mean, I guess thats just what I would do if I were 19 and needed insurance so badly that I was willing to JOP, lie to my family, and especially my grandparents so that they can see me get fake married.

bltata · May 2011

I think saying that you want the wedding for your grandfather and that if he passes beforehand you won't have it is a pitiful excuse. If it was for your grandfather you'd have him at the real one, especially if there was even the SLIGHTEST fear that he wouldn't be at your big "wedding" later on.

I think the real concern is that you are a spoiled 19 year old who wants a big party and will think of any excuse to justify her position. You want insurance? Get over it and make it happen yourself instead of jeopardizing your FI's career.

kyrgyzstan · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:c99cf6e3-babb-494b-a376-0e5d9c5366e4">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh!!! If you need insurance so bad, why don't YOU join the military yourself?
Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I love you Sami, but noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! </div><div>
</div><div>;)

</div>

ESquared423 · May 2011

This post is disgusting and makes me really happy that

A) I didn't get married at ninefuckingteen years old

My marriage is not a sham
C) I was living on my own, providing for myself, and loved myself long before I even met the man who wanted to do the same for me
D) I'm not a selfish, mooching, lazy, naive, deceitful little broad who will end up being a complete disappointment to most of my family and friends

Grow up and think about someone other than yourself.

calindi · May 2011

It's girls like the 19 year old twit that make me nervous that I'll survive living on base. It's girls like the rest of you that make me look forward to meeting friends who think more like me to make fun of the idiot baby brides.

greeneke2 · May 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_found-this-interesting?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:9ef29934-5d0e-4d0b-b322-c9fc65d8f9cfPost:fad3dc87-44ae-4b50-af8f-a6541c778c15">Re: I found this interesting</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>It's girls like the 19 year old twit that make me nervous that I'll survive living on base.</strong> It's girls like the rest of you that make me look forward to meeting friends who think more like me to make fun of the idiot baby brides.
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Wait until you meet their kids. lol. But seriously, at Lejeune, there were some of the MOST misbehave children I have ever seen in my life. I hated going out to eat in that town with fears of little kids running around and throwing food and their parents not doing a darn thing.</div><div>
</div><div>

<h1>
</h1></div>

I found this interesting

Re: I found this interesting

Choose Another Board

Search Boards