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Not Engaged Yet
PinkandLove77
member
New to NEY!!
Hi Everyone,
This is my first time posting in the NEY board so I'll introduce myself first ..
I've been with my SO for 5 years (in July) and unfortunately do not live together yet. We are both 23 years old and still in college. After 2 more years of school and buying a house together we will get engaged.
My question is if it is bad to reserve a date for a venue 2-3 years out? And before being engaged even? I LOVE the venue and would be devestated if it were booked for my potential date. So whatcha think?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: New to NEY!!
I don't buy it. You can't be for real.
You do not need to worry about it being booked for your potential date because there is no way you know what day is going to work for you and your BF and your families/close friends possibly three years from now.
Just focus on what is going on in your life right now and in 2-3 years if you are engaged you can worry about wedding planning then.
[QUOTE]I LIKE SKITTLES!
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
I like skittles too, but not as much as I like M&Ms.
Married Bio
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New to NEY!! : I like skittles too, but not as much as I like M&Ms.
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]
I would love some peanut butter m&ms right now.
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: New to NEY!! : I like skittles too, but not as much as I like M&Ms.
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]
Same outfit, not nearly as delicious.
[QUOTE]Hi Everyone, This is my first time posting in the NEY board so I'll introduce myself first .. I've been with my SO for 5 years (in July) and unfortunately do not live together yet. We are both 23 years old and still in college. After 2 more years of school and buying a house together we will get engaged. <strong>My question is if it is bad to reserve a date for a venue 2-3 years out? And before being engaged even</strong>? I LOVE the venue and would be devestated if it were booked for my potential date. So whatcha think?
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
<div>Yes.</div>
In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_fall-weddings_fall-theme-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:346Discussion:cfbf1c96-e3e9-4673-b82a-c1a71cc53725Post:93aeff6d-7390-4925-a99a-25061975b794">Fall Theme Question</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello Everyone! I have always wanted a fall wedding (<strong>I've chosen early October</strong>). I love Cherry Blossoms and was wondering if it would seem strange to have a fall wedding with a (generally) spring flower theme. I wanted to use the colors pink and chocolate with hints of sage green. So I would really appreciate any advice or suggestions :) Thanks Knotties!!!!
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
2-3 years is a LONG time from now. Apply your energies elsewhere for the time being. You will enjoy the wedding planning process more once you're actually engaged, and you will be glad that you waited. Don't go getting your heart set on stuff because life happens. Your BF might not want a fall wedding, you might have an amazing opportunity that would cause you to miss your fall wedding date, or a million other things. I don't think it is the end of the world to think about what you'd like from time to time, but there will be ample time later for you to plan. Enjoy the here and now.
[QUOTE]Okay, well thanks to the ones who actually gave a real opinion :) My boyfriend and I occasionally discuss the topic openly so we know what we like and don't like. We like the idea of fall, my parents were married in October. At this point I've been in college for 5 years and am on summer break so<strong> I have nothing else to focus my "now energies" on</strong>. I understand not all encourage it,<strong> but it's my life</strong>. Thanks ladies!!!!!
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
Still doesn't change the fact that booking a venue this far out is a bad idea. I'm holding by my "life happens" statement. It is too early to finalize <em>anything</em>.
And yes, it is your life. It doesn't affect me any... but if you're planning on sticking around, you should keep in mind what I said. The suggestion has been made, what you choose to do with that information is your own.
[QUOTE]Okay, well thanks to the ones who actually gave a real opinion :) My boyfriend and I occasionally discuss the topic openly so we know what we like and don't like. We like the idea of fall, my parents were married in October. <strong>At this point I've been in college for 5 years and am on summer break so I have nothing else to focus my "now energies" on</strong>. I understand not all encourage it, but it's my life. Thanks ladies!!!!!
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
Find a hobby? I'm in college too so my summers are pretty empty too but you don't have a job? or friends to hang out with? You could spend time volunteering.
If you didn't really want our opinions then why did you ask? We don't do validation here.
Oh I get it now. Yeah, go ahead and book a venue. It'll be nice to get that checked off your list, and you know you're getting married eventually anyway so what's the harm?
...I just wanted to see what that would be like.
I'm not seeing where anyone attacked you.
3. If you are still in school, you likely do not have a job lined up for after graduation. It will be basically impossible for you to start planning a wedding when you really have no idea what your or your BF's financial situation will be once you graduate. Add to that the fact that you are planning on buying a house, will probably have student loans, and will be living in the real world for the first time, I don't see how adding a wedding that you shouldn't even be planning is a good idea. SO MUCH can and will change between now and 2-3 years from now, especially since you are still in school. Live your life. Don't plan a wedding for a few years in the future just because you like fall.
[QUOTE]Okay, well thanks to the ones who actually gave a real opinion :) My boyfriend and I occasionally discuss the topic openly so we know what we like and don't like. We like the idea of fall, my parents were married in October. <strong>At this point I've been in college for 5 years and am on summer break so I have nothing else to focus my "now energies" on.</strong> I understand not all encourage it, but it's my life. Thanks ladies!!!!!
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
<div>So, the only things in your life are school & pre-planning a wedding that may or may not happen in the future? I feel sad for you. </div>
Every time I see one of these posts I think of the episode on Friends where Monica puts her name on the waiting list for a venue even though she's not engaged. Granted, in the show she eventually got a date, and got married on it. But that's a tv show, where things generally work out the way they are supposed to. In reality, that's rarely the case.
Think about it this way. When your bf is ready to propose, he will. Pre-planning a wedding, is kind of forcing him to rush that decision. It's giving him deadlines and basically ultimatums. How is that ever a good situation? It should come naturally. It should be a surprise, it should come from the heart. Not out of fear or pressure. You'll be much happier that way.
Leave it be, look when you are bored, and dream about someday not a specific date.
*edited for spelling.
So what if the same thing happens to you and you still aren't engaged? What if you guys have a falling out? It happens. Then you are out of your deposit and whatever pre-planning you did is completely obsolete now.
[QUOTE]Okay, well thanks to the ones who actually gave a real opinion :) My boyfriend and I occasionally discuss the topic openly so we know what we like and don't like. We like the idea of fall, my parents were married in October. At this point I've been in college for 5 years and am on summer break so I have nothing else to focus my "now energies" on. I understand not all encourage it, but it's my life. Thanks ladies!!!!!
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
I gave a real opinion. It just happened to be about M&M's. <div>
</div><div>My opinion about whether or not you should book a wedding venue before you're engaged is "you should not." Happy? Good. Run along now. </div>
Married Bio
[QUOTE]I feel sorry for people that feel the need to be rude or put people down via the internet.
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
...Still not seeing where anyone was rude to you. You asked a question and got answers.
I'm not saying you and your SO will break up at all, I'm just saying you have a long time and some growing to do in life still. Enjoy the now. Even if you are a planner...enjoy the now. I'm in my 30s as is SO, we are both professionals, SO is about to buy a ring this week and SO indicated he wanted to get married next year in late spring (and engaged very, very soon...again all according to him). Am I planning a wedding? Nope, I'm not engaged yet and I told him as much.
[QUOTE]I feel sorry for people that feel the need to be rude or put people down via the internet.
Posted by PinkandLove77[/QUOTE]
*points to above post* I gave you good, sound advice. As did many other people. AND, I backed it up with an example.
Also, you shouldn't feel sorry for us. You should feel sorry for our husbands.