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How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?

Thesse86Thesse86
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Me and my finacee is moving to Sweden (where I'm orginally from), where our wedding is going to be. We are having a wedding party for his extended family and our friends who are not able to make it to our wedding. I'm afraid that people will give us gifts which we can not bring with us, and I feel it would be rude to return them or give them away. There is no possibillity for us to bring gifts with us when we're moving in May. How do I politely ask for money instead of gifts?
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Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?

  • RachNRichRachNRich member
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    You don't.
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  • reddy123reddy123 member
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    you're moving all your belongings, you can move a few gifts.
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:6268ce3b-fb68-4c9a-8ba8-341ae2008b8e">How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Me and my finacee is moving to Sweden (where I'm orginally from), where our wedding is going to be. We are having a wedding party for his extended family and our friends who are not able to make it to our wedding. I'm afraid that people will give us gifts which we can not bring with us, and I feel it would be rude to return them or give them away. There is no possibillity for us to bring gifts with us when we're moving in May. How do I politely ask for money instead of gifts?
    Posted by Thesse86[/QUOTE]

    MONEYMONEYMONEYMOOONEY. MOOOONAY!

    Anywho, my H and I live in Italy (about to move to Sweden, actually) and we registered, but no one brought us any gifts, just money.  People are smart, they know how to handle these situations without being told.
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  • FutureMrsDudley55FutureMrsDudley55 member
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    This question gets asked at least twice a week. Lurk through the posts.

    To answer your question: Asking for money is rude.
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
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    Well, this is a unique question that has never been asked before.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
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    Just don't register for gifts.  If people ask where you're registered, just politely explain that you decided not to register since you won't be able to move any gifts with you when you move to Sweden.  That will clue people in to give cash.  If you do end up getting gifts, you will just need to either return them or ship them to your new home in Sweden.
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  • BioGirl21BioGirl21
    100 Comments
    You can spread though word of mouth that you would prefer money to gifts(like when people ask, don't just tell people you want money) but there's not a truly good way to do this.
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  • wcvsb3b5wcvsb3b5
    500 Comments
    Just don't register. People will get the hint. BUUUTT don't be surprised if you do get a gift you don't want or need.
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  • ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
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    Nice. The combined money/Sweden reference has Abba running through my head...

    Money money money,
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    in the rich man's world...
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  • TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
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    *headdesk*
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  • FestivaFestiva
    100 Comments
    Who is handling your RSVP's?  (It should NOT be you)  Whomever is doing so would normally be the one to answer questions when guests call...such as, "Where are they registered?" 
    In your case, your RSVP person will reply that you're not registered anywhere b/c you're moving and will not be able to take anything with.  To that the conversation should progress on it's own and the GUEST will bring up the idea of cash or they wont'.  At that point it doesn't matter...as long as they know not to bring a bulky gift. 

    It will work out! 

    judge the non-traditional, pop their happy little wedding balloons... and sleep better tonight for you have made the world a better place.
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  • vgmartinezvgmartinez
    500 Comments

    I wouldn't ask for money. It's probably better that you just don't register or maybe register for some smaller items that are easier to take along. To be honest, I've never really bought anything from anyone's registry, I usually just give cash or a gift card anyway.

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  • kikibabykikibaby member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:1b4712a9-bc53-40a8-82f3-a19d4cde6f00">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Who is handling your RSVP's?  (It should NOT be you)</strong>  Whomever is doing so would normally be the one to answer questions when guests call...such as, "Where are they registered?"  In your case, your RSVP person will reply that you're not registered anywhere b/c you're moving and will not be able to take anything with.  To that the conversation should progress on it's own and the GUEST will bring up the idea of cash or they wont'.  At that point it doesn't matter...as long as they know not to bring a bulky gift.  It will work out! 
    Posted by Festiva[/QUOTE]

    What? 
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:1b4712a9-bc53-40a8-82f3-a19d4cde6f00">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is handling your RSVP's?  (It should NOT be you) 
    Posted by Festiva[/QUOTE]

    Why can't she handle her own RSVPs?
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  • FutureMrsDudley55FutureMrsDudley55 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:1b4712a9-bc53-40a8-82f3-a19d4cde6f00">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is handling your RSVP's?  (It should NOT be you) 
    Posted by Festiva[/QUOTE]

    I'm handling my own RSVP's.
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  • salt78salt78 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:1b4712a9-bc53-40a8-82f3-a19d4cde6f00">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is handling your RSVP's?  (It should NOT be you)  
    Posted by Festiva[/QUOTE]

    <div>Huh?</div>
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  • betrothed123betrothed123
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:5bc0bc33-b4b7-4b97-8d43-e216bf33bd6c">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : Why can't she handle her own RSVPs?
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
    Because a bride should never have to lift a finger, duh!
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    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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  • BubbalubBubbalub member
    1000 Comments
    Yeah, I'm confused by Festiva's post. Why in the world wouln't an engaged couple handle their own RSVPs? I've never heard of that before.
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  • AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
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    Clearly this means Iam the only one who did it right!! WOOT!
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  • stinkerbell6879stinkerbell6879 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:a184b909-f7d5-47de-974a-4c1ca003d2e7">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, this is a unique question that has never been asked before.
    Posted by baystateapple[/QUOTE]

    lolz ::::snort:::::
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  • NebbNebb member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:1b4712a9-bc53-40a8-82f3-a19d4cde6f00">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who is handling your RSVP's?  (It should NOT be you)  Whomever is doing so would normally be the one to answer questions when guests call...such as, "Where are they registered?"  In your case, your RSVP person will reply that you're not registered anywhere b/c you're moving and will not be able to take anything with.  To that the conversation should progress on it's own and the GUEST will bring up the idea of cash or they wont'.  At that point it doesn't matter...as long as they know not to bring a bulky gift.  It will work out! 
    Posted by Festiva[/QUOTE]
    What does this have to do with ANYTHING? Is it customary for guests to call before they RSVP? Im truly confused by your take on this...
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:35005e94-1974-49b6-92e6-326f0b22c890">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : Because a bride should never have to lift a finger, duh!
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    Oh yeah. I forgot about that rule.
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  • stinkerbell6879stinkerbell6879 member
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : Oh yeah. I forgot about that rule.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]
    Crap! I've be doing it ALL wrong....How dare I actually take care of my own wedding!
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  • baystateapplebaystateapple member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:aa4bd041-39e0-473b-934e-a04d4c1be981">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : Crap! I've be doing it ALL wrong....How dare I actually take care of my own wedding!
    Posted by stinkerbell6879[/QUOTE]

    Well that'll teach you.  Better stake out that spot on the sofa and start eating bonbons stat.
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  • betrothed123betrothed123
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    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : Oh yeah. I forgot about that rule.
    Posted by cew515[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, clearly you're doing it wrong.  I hired a whole host of people to do everything for me. In fact, one of my team was solely there to lift my fingers for me.  I didn't want to risk anything.
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
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    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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  • jennylove810jennylove810 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:9f771205-a75c-44d3-b6d5-8a564c829cbe">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : Yeah, clearly you're doing it wrong.  I hired a whole host of people to do everything for me. In fact, one of my team was solely there to lift my fingers for me.  I didn't want to risk anything.
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    You hired people?  That was dumb.. everyone knows that's what bridesmaids are for.
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  • mandysmearmandysmear member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary

    I think the standard answer that was given when I first started coming around the knot, is that you don't actually ask.  You don't tell the guests.  But, people like your parents can get the info out via word of mouth.

    I'm sure if most people know you're moving they won't give you gifts though.  No need to worry too much about it.


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  • stinkerbell6879stinkerbell6879 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:e5f45c02-b96f-4e06-83a4-7be40bf95eea">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : You hired people?  That was dumb.. everyone knows that's what bridesmaids are for.
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
    Oh yeah! My slaves...oh wait...Sorry my bridesmaids...duh! Way CHEAPER then hiring!
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  • betrothed123betrothed123
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:e5f45c02-b96f-4e06-83a4-7be40bf95eea">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : You hired people?  That was dumb.. everyone knows that's what bridesmaids are for.
    Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
    That could have worked... if those damned bitches hadn't all turned their backs on me 3 years out when I told them it was time to buy their dresses, shoes, jewelry, etc. 
    kd.joseph's wish is my command
    image
    Just call me "Brothel"
    And betrothed, I'm disgusted with most of the comments that you have posted. I don't think I've ever read such judgmental comments in my life. I'm so lucky that the girls I speak to on theknot are nothing like you...I would've never come on here for ADVICE if I would've encountered a big a bitch as you. I genuinely feel awful for your children or your future children, and I think it would be irresponsible of YOU not to invest in their future therapy sessions starting now. Because trust me when I tell you honey, they're gonna need it. ~jcaruncho2010
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  • stinkerbell6879stinkerbell6879 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ask-gifts-money-instead?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cb835a8e-c47d-4160-936a-c33740d4697cPost:fa5ffa99-59df-4d9b-bb0b-9be5244ce9a6">Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do I ask for no gifts and money instead? : That could have worked... if those damned bitches hadn't all turned their backs on me 3 years out when I told them it was time to buy their dresses, shoes, jewelry, etc. 
    Posted by betrothed123[/QUOTE]

    Hummm...and it was all out of budget for them too?right? Damn those poor bit@hes who can not afford to make YOUR day special! They have eff'd up priorities...
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    12/4/11 Vegas RockNRoll Half 3:14:53
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