xp MOH and best man gift etiquette ?

mary35699 · January 2013

I am getting married in just over two months it is a very small and intimate wedding with only immediate family. I am having my sister as my MOH and my future husband has his brother as best man, these will be the only ones standing. I have a question on what the etiquette is for giving them a gift for standing up.

My understand and please correct me if I am wrong is that normally there is a gift given to the members of the wedding party to thank them for their time and any expenses they incurred to be there to support us on the day. Their expenses include tux for the groomsman and dresses for the bridesmaids. Am I right so far?

So we are paying for (almost) all the expensives. I have bought my sister a dress and jewelry, I will also pay for her hair and make-up. All she needs to supply is shoes which she already has, she has offered to pay for her dress but I have declined. We have also paid for the best mans tux and shoes, we were going to offer but he showed up and basically asked us outright to cover him.

Now when we first started planning I spoke with my future husband about what we could get them as a thank you. That's why I originally started looking for jewelry for my sister, but I got it cheap on sale along with her dress so right now I have spent half as much on her as I did on renting the tux. I do expect that by the time the hair/make-up is done I will have spent about the same on MOH and best man.

Now assuming my understanding about the customary gift is correct, would you still buy a gift for each of them and if so how much would you spend? Thanks.

Edit

I don't know if this will play into your responses but every guest (except children) will be given the following favors. A bottle of homemade wine with a personalized label (Matthew and Mary and the date), package of playing cards with a personalized label (Matthew and Mary and the date), coach candle, and a super pretty rock candy stick, ribbon stick and a handwritten (hey I learned something from hanging out here) thank you note.

Asides from the best man having to go to the shop for two fittings for the tux, and my sister trying on dresses I brought to here and getting hair and make up done neither has any other obligations or duties other then show up the day of. There will be no shower, rehearsal, stag/ette, etc. Again I do not know if this will factor in or not.

mlg78 · January 2013

You've been generous but what you've done is not considered a gift. They typically would've paid for their own dress/tux and the couple picks up the rest of the expenses. That being said, you do still need to give them a gift. I'd make it something small, however...maybe in the $25 range.

Simply Fated · January 2013

I would at least wrote them notes and give a small gift. They're still giving up time and all that to be with you.

[Deleted User] · January 2013

I'd still get them something small. Find a favorite movie at a bargain bin at walmart or a couple good books on sale. Buy a pretty set of wine glasses to drink said wine. Something like that. It doesn't have to be huge but it's a nice gesture and not wedding related then.

kmsst48 · January 2013

This is like their uniform not their gift. It's very generous what you've done so far and I'm sure they are grateful but if what your doing for them is for the wedding - it's not a gift. If you did use this as their gifts. Find something personal for them. I searched everywhere for this stupid ring my sister and I fought over when we were kids to give her with an opal ring (that's her favorite) along with a tiffany's bracelet. We are picking out her wedding jewlery and I'm paying for it, but it's not her gift just as I'm paying for her hair, makeup and mani-pedi. Just do something that jumps out at you as special even if the money doesn't add up to be equal between the best man and your moh. Good luck!

xp MOH and best man gift etiquette ?

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