Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha

thumperinfun · April 2010

Hey! okay so a couple of things that I might be doing are considered bad etiquette but...just listen to the whole story.

Okay we are putting our registry neatly printed on an insert BECAUSE our invite list is very young people (16-20 age range)...still rude? My MOH and BM are both very shy and will not spread word about our registry so I don't know any other options.

Also, we are funding the wedding ourselves...we have only a couple of OOT guests and have about a 3 hour gap...is this acceptable? We can't afford an open bar...we are buying a couple of kegs and then keeping the rest cash. Is this tacky? Rude? I thought some would be better than none? I don't want to offend people but I just can't afford it.

I also heard people complaining about weddings with a garter/boquet tosses, dollar dance, electric slide, and other things...am I lame for wanting these? I love the tradition and the "silly" and fun aspects of a wedding. I don't care about the money from the dollar dance...its just another fun way to mingle and get guests involved....which I might add is going to be difficult. FI's side are ALL VERY SHY and reserved.

We were planning on song lyrics for table numbers and having DJ announce that when song plays, the table dances. It's not mandatory but fun for whoever wants to. We will start it with our sweetheart table and our first dance. : ) I thought it was cute and fun

I've been getting crap on the boards for this so if anyone has alternatives, not rude comments, that would be great. : )

THANKS!!!

Lasairiona · April 2010

Including registry info in the wedding invite is always rude no matter what the circumstances. The fact that your guests are younger is no excuse because it is the parents' responsibility to teach proper etiquette.

There is no excuse for a gap between the ceremony and reception. If you do have a gap, it should not be longer than it takes to drive from one venue to the other. 3 hrs is not acceptable and you will have people decline or else only show up at one event because of it.

Guests are never for any reason to pay for anything at the reception out of their own pockets. If you can't afford something, you don't offer it, period. You don't invite people to your home and say "here's chicken that's free but it you want steak, that's $10 extra per person". The same applies to alcohol, regardless of where the party is held.

Dollar dances are rude, mainly because guests are forced or pressured to donate. It goes back to the idea that no one should open their wallets at the wedding. If you don't care about the money, skip the dollar dance and dance with everyone for free. It's not difficult if you make the effort to do so. Also, not everyone is the dancing type, and you cannot force anyone to dance as the only means of mingling with the couple. As for the other things (garter tosses, electric slide, etc), have those if you want but don't force or guilt anyone to participate.

Don't get the table dances thing? Is that calling people up to the buffet table? If not, you will be making people uncomfortable by forcing them out of their comfort zone.

katieanne85 · April 2010

not attacking.. dont worry, but you know that all the things you are asking here are rude or tacky, or at least you know they are unpopular because you are anticipating negative responses.
your situation doesnt change the fact that putting gift info on invitations looks greedy, a time gap between a ceremony and reception inconviences guests, a cash bar still requires people to pay money at a celebration, where booze isnt the reason they came in the first place, and a dollar dance looks like you want money. The electric slide and song lyric table numbers, they might not be everyones thing, but i see no problem with them objectively. :P
Again, disagreeing, not attacking

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

1) The 16-20 year old generation is the most technological in tune generation ever. Make a wedding website and put the registry info there. There is NO reason this is not do-able. It sounds like you know enough to know it is rude, but not enough to know that a wedding is not about the presents. Relax on 'making sure' people get you stuff.

2) While electric slide and the like are not my style, just do what you want. It is not offensive or anything, but people will probably roll their eyes a bit. You also can't make people dance so don't be surprised if they don't.

3) There is no way a cash bar is not rude. Again, it seems like you know that so I will just add - WAIT to have your wedding until you do have the money to provide for your guests properly. Same with the gap. It seems like your wedding is dicombobluated and poorly planned for. Take a step back, breath, and attack this when you have the means to do so.

jenn.daniel · April 2010

Do you have a wedding website? I think it's acceptable to put registry info on there. People could also as you directly where you're registered.

If you can't afford the alcohol, don't have it available at the venue. Skip the kegs and use the money for something that could entertain your guests during the gap.

I have no objection to tosses - I think it's a cute tradition. Dollar dance = no. Electric slide = no.

The making a table dance to a certain soung would make me feel very awkward. If people don't want to mingle, they won't mingle. Trying to force it makes everyone miserable.

shauni27 · April 2010

I agree with meaghan--create a wedding website and include registry info on the website. Then as an insert or something in your invitation (or STD which is more acceptable) say "for more information on the smith-jones wedding, please visit our wedding website at fjkdfhdjklfhaldkjsf.com." This way people will not be offended and will still get you gifts off of your registry.

I also agree that you should not do cash bars. Where I live they are quite common, but I still do not like them. Just offer what you can. Kegs of beer sounds fine, and maybe a small table with wine on it? Shouldn't be too pricey anyway if most of your guests are 16-20 and shouldn't be drinking anyway.

My only other concern is the long time difference between ceremony and reception. Why is there such a big time space? Is there anything you can do to make them closer together?

I hope these suggestions work for you!

shellydiane820 · April 2010

Hey! okay so a couple of things that I might be doing are considered bad etiquette but...just listen to the whole story.

Okay we are putting our registry neatly printed on an insert BECAUSE our invite list is very young people (16-20 age range)...still rude? My MOH and BM are both very shy and will not spread word about our registry so I don't know any other options. Its still rude, I don't recommend doing this. If people want to know where you're registered, they'll ask.

Also, we are funding the wedding ourselves...we have only a couple of OOT guests and have about a 3 hour gap...is this acceptable? We can't afford an open bar...we are buying a couple of kegs and then keeping the rest cash. Is this tacky? Rude? I thought some would be better than none? I don't want to offend people but I just can't afford it.
A three hour gap is really long, what do you expect your guests to do for that time? I can't imagine pictures taking that long either. Anything over an hour is too long, IMO. I think having a limited bar (beer and wine) is better than nothing, but remember your reception is a thank you and you want guests to be as comfortable as possible.

I also heard people complaining about weddings with a garter/boquet tosses, dollar dance, electric slide, and other things...am I lame for wanting these? I love the tradition and the "silly" and fun aspects of a wedding. I don't care about the money from the dollar dance...its just another fun way to mingle and get guests involved....which I might add is going to be difficult. FI's side are ALL VERY SHY and reserved.
I can deal with garter/bouquet/electric slide/etc. Don't do the dollar dance, people have already come to your wedding and brought you a gift. Asking for money is overkill.

We were planning on song lyrics for table numbers and having DJ announce that when song plays, the table dances. It's not mandatory but fun for whoever wants to. We will start it with our sweetheart table and our first dance. : ) I thought it was cute and fun

That's cute. Its a good way to get people on the floor.

I've been getting crap on the boards for this so if anyone has alternatives, not rude comments, that would be great. : )

spinner84 · April 2010

I have never heard of the electric slide before this website, and honestly I think it is so cool and I am totally making my guests do it! The DJ has to teach us how, because no one from our countries (Canada and Switzerland) will have a clue what it is.

I am doing a bouquet/garter toss after much deliberation because GUESTS said it would be fun. I'm just giving the garter to my future hubby because I'm shy, but as long as you do'nt flash your panties, it's fine, seriously. Most people do it, no one will think you're a bad person as long as you keep it in good taste.

I think doing a website (and giving a link to it) which has registry info is your best bet for getting the word out.

Is there any way you can buy some wine and have that available, as well as the kegs?

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:8f9b8a3b-ace8-4232-9beb-055d27222b58">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]Blaming a gap on a church is a complete copout., pure and simple.The church's denomination is irrelevant. It's not their fault you (or anyone else in a similar situation) are unable or unwilling to shop around for a venue that does not have limited hours available before signing contracts and putting deposits down. Contrary to popular belief, they do exist and no they are not limited to VFW halls.
Posted by Lasairiona[/QUOTE]

<div>Yup. We had a Catholic wedding and 2:00 was our only option. We had no gap. Why? Because I took the time and energy to go find a reception venue that would let us start right away. If you don't want to bother venue that will work with you, fine, but don't blame it on the church. </div><div>
</div><div>But, I suspect this whole post is MUD. </div>

MeaghanandMichael · April 2010

Talking to an 'older and wiser' person about gaps doesn't make them ok. Get real EAV.
Do your homework and plan the wedding your guests will be comfortable at. Spring for the venue that makes this work.

Lasairiona · April 2010

Not to mention "older and wiser" folks generally have a much better grasp of what proper etiquette is and actually abide by it. But there are exceptions obviously who don't care who they offend.

pandasquishy · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:96e19741-4124-4749-8136-9982ea422a10">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]wow...thanks for the attack. I appreciate the people that didn't just bash and actually had some great ideas. I like the wedding website registry idea, I also like closing the bar after serving free. I just needed some ideas... Thanks for dubbing my wedding vsgal. We are doing the best we can. <strong>The gap was NOT my fault. my 1:30 church time was double booked and an 11am wedding was the only thing left. </strong>Nothing I could do without losing my deposits. I'm trying to find something for guests to do. I haven't thought of anything budget friendly...but if anyone has any actual help...feel free to post. It's very frustrating that brides have no mercy on other brides. No one is an expert here. I guess I just grew up on tacky weddings.
Posted by thumperinfun[/QUOTE]

<div>So your ceremony is as 11am. Let's say it goes for an hour. Your guests will be done at the ceremony at noon and there is a three hour gap until the reception? You're basically forcing them to find lunch on their own. This is rude and I think you should rework your reception contract to have a better start time.</div><div>
</div><div>Why not have a time line like this:</div><div>Ceremony 11-noon</div><div>Cocktail hour noon-1, while you take pictures</div><div>1pm lunch recpetion</div><div>
</div><div>That is going to go over a LOT better than a three hour gap where your guests are forced to fend for themselves. They won't be happy with you.</div>

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

You knew in advance that all of your ideas suck. Why on earth did you post this?

You should just go ahead and copy your OP onto your website. That way your guests at least have some warning of what they're in for.

And for the record, if I got invited to a wedding with a three hour gap, I simply would decline, or only attend whichever of the two (ceremony or reception) was more convenient.

ssmith1119 · April 2010

Thumperinfun:

Its YOUR wedding, its YOUR day, YOU are the only one who knows your guests and what they will find appropriate or rude. You need to do what works best for you and your guests. Your friends and family are there to SUPPORT you not bash you. Enjoy you day and make the best of it!

sabatron · April 2010

"We can't afford an open bar...we are buying a couple of kegs and then keeping the rest cash. Is this tacky? Rude? I thought some would be better than none? I don't want to offend people but I just can't afford it."

Open bars are generally considered a nuisance. It would be optimal to have beer/wine and to skimp in other aspects of the wedding (buy a cheaper veil, have chicken instead of salmon, skip the limo, etc). I would be annoyed if I attended a wedding that made me pay for more stuff.

CynikettE · April 2010

Something tells me a 16-20 year old isn't going to buy you a Kitchen Aid (etc.) anyway...

You probably shouldn't even expect a gift from someone under 18.

Pirata13 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:f181bb80-3a68-4e7c-af53-0704df9ab56d">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]Thumperinfun: Its YOUR wedding, its YOUR day, YOU are the only one who knows your guests and what they will find appropriate or rude. You need to do what works best for you and your guests. Your friends and family are there to SUPPORT you not bash you. Enjoy you day and make the best of it!
Posted by ssmith1119[/QUOTE]

Don't fall into this BS of "It's MYYYY day!!"

You are asking us these questions because you already have an idea that they are rude. Your reception is a thank you for your guests. So you need to think how you'd want to be treated as a guest. PPs have given good advice (except ssmith) so think about what you might be able to change. You would likely be able to save money if you did have a luncheon reception. Providing the beer as planned and some wine would provide choices and eliminate the cash bar. Most liquor stores will take back any unopened bottles of wine, but check before you buy.

If you really don't care about the money, don't do the dollar dance, or instead provide small note cards for the guests to write advice or a wish on in place of giving a dollar.

The Electric Slide etc are optional. We chose to ban any songs/dances like that, but that's a personal choice. However, most of the other things you need to work on. Create that wedding webiste and get the word out about registries on there and via word of mouth.

banana468 · April 2010

If anyone uses the reasoning of, "It's your day" to do something that's otherwise rude, IT"S STILL RUDE.

sabatron · April 2010

I agree with the above poster. There are no exceptions in etiquette, even if it's your wedding. I'm in the frame of mind that it would be better to have a dry wedding than to have guests wielding cash for drinks all night.

MyNameIsNot · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:f181bb80-3a68-4e7c-af53-0704df9ab56d">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]Thumperinfun: Its YOUR wedding, its YOUR day, YOU are the only one who knows your guests and what they will find appropriate or rude. You need to do what works best for you and your guests. Your friends and family are there to SUPPORT you not bash you. Enjoy you day and make the best of it!
Posted by ssmith1119[/QUOTE]

So basically, because your friends and family love you and will forgive you, it's ok to treat them badly and take advantage of them. Yeah, no.

Do you also steal money from your mother's purse because she will forgive you? That's the same logic.

ssmith1119 · April 2010

someone please show me the "Wedding Etiquette Handbook" where it tells all of this stuff.(besides putting where you register in you invite) This is just your own opinions. If you would not go to a friend or family members based on these things then you probably shouldnt have been invited. I understand she was asking for advice but my goodness, then giver her ADVICE!

SuMmErKuTiE · April 2010

Okay we are putting our registry neatly printed on an insert BECAUSE our invite list is very young people (16-20 age range)...still rude? My MOH and BM are both very shy and will not spread word about our registry so I don't know any other options. Please do not put any registry information on the invites. No matter what age your guest list is, it's always rude. Gifts are not mandatory, and you're straight up asking for them by doing this. I agree with pp's just make a wedding website and include the registry info on there. People of that age group will have no problem figuring that out. All you have to do is make an insert in the invitation that says "For more information regarding our wedding please refer to our wedding website" and then provide the link to the website.

Also, we are funding the wedding ourselves...we have only a couple of OOT guests and have about a 3 hour gap...is this acceptable? We can't afford an open bar...we are buying a couple of kegs and then keeping the rest cash. Is this tacky? Rude? I thought some would be better than none? I don't want to offend people but I just can't afford it. No a 3 hour gap is not acceptable, I've been to a wedding where there was a big gap and it was VERY inconvenient and everyone complained about it. There were also a ton of people who only showed up to one event because of it. Nevermind the fact that everyone was hungry and cranky. As far as the alcohol goes, just serve what you can afford, if a few kegs are all you can afford then only serve the beer in the kegs. But since you said most of your guest list is 16-20, providing alcohol shouldn't be your main concern.

I also heard people complaining about weddings with a garter/boquet tosses, dollar dance, electric slide, and other things...am I lame for wanting these? I love the tradition and the "silly" and fun aspects of a wedding. I don't care about the money from the dollar dance...its just another fun way to mingle and get guests involved....which I might add is going to be difficult. FI's side are ALL VERY SHY and reserved. We are doing the garter and bouquet toss. It's a personal choice, every wedding I've been to still has them and our circle of friends always has fun when they happen so we're doing it. As far as the dollar dance.. if it's not popular in your circle or a family tradtion please skip it. You don't need this to get your guests to mingle.

We were planning on song lyrics for table numbers and having DJ announce that when song plays, the table dances. It's not mandatory but fun for whoever wants to. We will start it with our sweetheart table and our first dance. : ) I thought it was cute and fun. This sounds cute, but you will probably have a lot of guests who won't view it as fun.

Lasairiona · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:029ec70f-f5a6-4871-9d9b-1b61c643028c">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]someone please show me the "Wedding Etiquette Handbook" where it tells all of this stuff.(besides putting where you register in you invite) This is just your own opinions. If you would not go to a friend or family members based on these things then you probably shouldnt have been invited. I understand she was asking for advice but my goodness, then giver her ADVICE!
Posted by ssmith1119[/QUOTE]
Open any etiquette book and you will find that. Not to mention, good manners and treating others respectfully are common sense. Even though "common sense" is actually a rarity. But even if it slapped you in the face, you still wouldn't believe it. If you want your guests to be inconvenienced "because you can't find it in any etiquette book saying not to do something" then it only makes you look bad.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

Don't have a cash bar, just host what you can afford. If that's only a couple of kegs, that's okay.

As far as the registry goes, the fact that your wedding party is shy has nothing to do with it. "Spreading the word" means they give the information when ASKED, they don't go around saying, "Oh by the way, the B&G are registered at..." Plus, if no one finds your registry, what's the worst that can happen? They'll give you cash or something else. Not a big deal. I'll never understand why people are SO obsessed over making sure everyone knows where they are registered for gifts, because it really doesn't matter.

As far as gaps go, yes, they are generally seen as rude. If you can't move back the ceremony or move up the reception, you should host something in between, like lemonade and cookies.

Catwoman708 · April 2010

1. Putting registry information on, or in with the wedding invites is rude, even if the majority of guests are younger. The acceptable alternative is to give out the information when someone ASKS you for it. If you have a wedding website you can put it on there. It's not technically proper, but generally accepted that you can include the registry info with shower invites only, if you have a shower.

2. The gap between ceremony and reception is sometimes unavoidable. Some think they are rude, others it's an accepted normal occurrance with weddings. If at all possible, find a way to start your reception within an hour after the ceremony ends. By finding another venue, or arranging to start earlier, or even moving the ceremony to a different venue or later time by having it at the reception site. Or find a way and place to have refreshements served during the gap. If you do end up having to live with the gap, you could just suggest a few things in the immediate area for guests to do

3. You don't have to serve alcohol at all, or if you really want it, it's much more preferable to serve limited alchol rather than a cash bar. So if all you can afford is beer, then that's all you should serve. You might also consider a more affordable alcoholic punch, like sangria, champagne punch, or hurricane punch.

**But I must point out that if much of your guest list is 16-20 year olds, then you should not be serving them alcohol! That would just be irresponsible to mix inexperienced teenage drinkers with free and unsupervised booze.

4. Garter and bouquet tosses, silly group dances like the chicken dance or electric slide may be lame to some, but are also fun for a lot of people. If you want to do these then you can certainly do them. It's not mandatory for guests to particiapate if they don't like them.

**Things like cash bars and dollar dances are ONLY acceptable if it's a long established and popular custom in your family and circle of friends. They are strictly a regional and/or cultural thing, not something you just decide would be a fun thing to do, or way to save or rake in some money. You don't need a dollar dance to mingle and dance with guests. Skip both of these things if at all possible.

5. Skip the dances by tables. If guests want to dance they will, and no one likes to be put on the spot when they have a mouthful of food. Your guests won't appreciate it or think it's nearly as fun and cute as you do.

Good luck with your wedding. I figure you must be young and/or the first in your group to get married. So I admire you for taking the time to find out what is rude and what is acceptable. I'd highly suggest you go to a library or Half Price book store and get a copy of a reputable etiquette book, by Post, Vanderbuilt, or Judith Martin (miss manners). They cover almost every aspect of weddings, and you will learn a lot.

trix1223 · April 2010

Yes, I absolutely think you should listen to the ONE person who says 'it's all fine because it's YOUR spay-shul day" and ignore the 40 who told you that most of your ideas are just in bad taste.

But just in case: I'm going to make it 41 who tell you that:

You shouldn't put registry info in the same envelope as your wedding invitations.

You should NOT have a 3 hour gap AT ALL. What you're then asking is for people to begin preparing to attend your 11 am wedding at about 9 am, and give up the next 12-14 hours for your party. There's little chance that I'd attend both parts of your wedding.

Do the dances (electric slide, etc), don't do the dances. I don't really care. But DON'T make people at a table get up and dance to the song name at their table. You wil undoubtedly make more than a few of your guests uncomfortable. If they don't like to dance, they'll be uncomfortable being forced onto the floor. But if they don't get up, they'll feel uncomfortable sitting at the table when everyone else gets up. And what does the random single person do at that time?

If, as you said earlier, most of your guests are between 16-20 (How old are YOU, BTW?), then alcohol doesn't enter into the discussion at all. Because you're liable for underage drinkers. Have the beer and wine for your legal drinkers, and have soft drinks for the kids. The alcohol will last long enough if the bulk of your guests can't drink anyway.

Have the tosses if you want. DON'T have the dollar dance. There's just no earthly good reason to charge people for the "privilege" of dancing with you.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:029ec70f-f5a6-4871-9d9b-1b61c643028c">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]someone please show me the "Wedding Etiquette Handbook" where it tells all of this stuff.(besides putting where you register in you invite) This is just your own opinions. If you would not go to a friend or family members based on these things then you probably shouldnt have been invited. I understand she was asking for advice but my goodness, then giver her ADVICE!
Posted by ssmith1119[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://www.google.com/search?q=wedding+etiquette&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a" rel="nofollow">http://www.google.com/search?q=wedding+etiquette&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a</a>

<a href="http://www.emilypost.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.emilypost.com/</a>

<a href="http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=8318975" rel="nofollow">http://lifestyle.msn.com/Relationships/Article.aspx?cp-documentid=8318975</a>

<a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=wedding+etiquette&x=0&y=0" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=wedding+etiquette&x=0&y=0</a>

We ARE giving her advice. It's not that I wouldn't GO, I would just be taken aback by some of her suggestions and down right offended by others. Let alone my great aunts, you know?

JohnsonIn10 · April 2010

Well honey I know I am gonna get truly hammered by all the other posters on your thread, but do what you want. if you want any or all of your mentioned ideas go for it. I can say that I personally don't care for the time gap but that is because your guests may get bored and leave. Other wise do what is right for you and you Fh.
I personally will be buying a few kegs and then doing a cash bar after that. I will also be doing a dollar dance. Both were suggestions made to me by multiple(50+) guests. I was going to skip the cash bar and only do kegs, I was also not going to do the dollar dance. But the guests who advised I should do both are the most important people to me. I didn't ask for their opinions, they offered it up when I told them what our original plan would be. My FH wanted this also. Well Good Luck!

To the rest of you, May the Attack Begin! I can handle it!

aerinpegadrak · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:91dd845e-bbc7-4b3f-86fb-35989d2f81e7">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]Well honey I know I am gonna get truly hammered by all the other posters on your thread, but do what you want. if you want any or all of your mentioned ideas go for it. I can say that I personally don't care for the time gap but that is because your guests may get bored and leave. Other wise do what is right for you and you Fh. I personally will be buying a few kegs and then doing a cash bar after that. I will also be doing a dollar dance. Both were suggestions made to me by multiple(50+) guests. I was going to skip the cash bar and only do kegs, I was also not going to do the dollar dance. But the guests who advised I should do both are the most important people to me. I didn't ask for their opinions, they offered it up when I told them what our original plan would be. My FH wanted this also. Well Good Luck! To the rest of you, May the Attack Begin! I can handle it!
Posted by JohnsonIn10[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I had a lot of people very close to me give me some less than reasonable advice, too. I smiled and thanked them for their help and went about my merry way, rather than allowing myself to be talked into things I knew would make other people uncomfortable. But then, there's my silly backbone getting in the way.

girl2bewed · April 2010

<p>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_please-dont-attacki-just-want-advice-haha?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:e4da03c4-1712-4f34-bcb6-4729fca5b93bPost:f181bb80-3a68-4e7c-af53-0704df9ab56d">Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha</a>:
[QUOTE]Thumperinfun: Its YOUR wedding, its YOUR day, YOU are the only one who knows your guests and what they will find appropriate or rude. You need to do what works best for you and your guests. Your friends and family are there to SUPPORT you not bash you. Enjoy you day and make the best of it!
Posted by ssmith1119[/QUOTE]

Finally some nice words for this poster. Seriously she is just looking for advice, everyone relax a little. It is your day for sure but you are still responsible for hosting your guests. The only issue I have here is the 3 hour time gap, I went to a wedding just a few months ago with a 3 hour gap and it was horrible trying to figure out what to do during that time. I live in small city and we were still too bored to just go home and wait it out. Since you couldn't change your time due to losing deposits and are truly stuck with a gap, is there any way your reception hall can open up early? A cocktail hour seems out of your budget, but I honestly can't think of what else you would have them do. The tour bus idea sounded unique but I would think only OOT people would be interested and you have few of those.

The dollar dances are cute, you aren't doing it thinking you are going to get a million bucks to go spend its a cute tradition I've seen at every wedding i've been to and doesn't put anyone in an awkward position, whoever doesn't want to do it doesnt. Maybe its where i live but cash bars are all they have here, and no one has ever complained, people expect it. </p>
<p>I definately think you should go for the wedding website, but again maybe its the area I'm in but every wedding invitation I've gotten over the last 5 years have included a registry insert. As a guest I appreciate being able to know where someone registered so I can get them something they want.

The DJ calling on tables to dance isn't a tacky idea, but defiantely awkward for those who dont want to dance.

Anyway, good luck - do what you think is best for your situation, everyone who is coming is coming to see you get married not to go to the party of their lifetime</p>

AshleyNC2010 · April 2010

I'm with the minority!!!! Do what you feel is right and what is the norm in your area!! No ones going to know the difference anyways. I'm also in an area where cash bars and a gap are the norm... I had never even heard of a cocktail hour as part of a wedding until I started watching and looking at wedding books and shows!!! And I've never heard of a dollar dance??? still don't get that one either but anyways... lol I also agree with the poster that said I'd rather have the option to buy a drink I like then have the only options things I do not drink!!!

I like the website idea. We actually got an invite with Monetary Gifts preffered writen right on the invite lol now thats tacky!!!!!!!!!!!!

good luck and have an amazing wedding day!!

Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha

Re: Please don't attack...I just want advice. Haha

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