What is so wrong with having kid free weddings anyhow?

Simply Fated · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wrong-having-kid-weddings-anyhow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:e4deb8b0-5e2c-42cf-a2c3-1b130482754cPost:254013fd-378c-44d0-82d4-dd5b7cd5a3a8">Re: What is so wrong with having kid free weddings anyhow?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well simply, the reason I brought my cousin up, she actually has no friends or family there she'd feel comfortable leaving the baby with. They transferred there 6 months ago (2 months at the time of the wedding) for her husband's job, so she literally knew no one. So it's not always as easy as just leave with her with friends or family.
Posted by mwhitson14[/QUOTE]
I have no idea where the venue is, but I'm assuming it's near you. Could you not have helped her locate a sitter near your area? None of your friends or family knows anyone that could watch a child for a few hours?
If not, then she could decline the invitation, if the person throwing the wedding did not invite the child.
Hopefully your cousin has since then made steps in locating a reliable, mature sitter. You said she knows literally no one. I wonder what she does on any other evening that she chooses to go out. Of course I wouldn't leave a child overnight with a stranger, but that is why I suggested bringing the kid along on the trip, but then leaving the child at a sitter nearby the wedding site. This way, the child isn't left with a stranger overnight.

I'm a firm believer that if you can't find a sitter for your child or you do not want to use a sitter, then you decline the invitation. You should not expect people to make exceptions for you or change their situation for you. This goes for any situtation.

If you wanted to let children come for this cousin, then that's fine, that's your choice. I have no problem with that. But I don't feel that other brides should be made to feel guilty for their choices.

gooshbaby · July 2010

my fi and i decided long ago we were having a kids free wedding. his sis had a hissy fit n is bringing the kids if we like it or not. my cousin also had a fit n wants to bring her 3 kids-and they are horrible and climb on everything! some people just dont understand that we dont have the money to pay for all the kids to come to the wedding. they should really respect the couples wishes, it just looks bad on their part anyways for bringing the kids when its an adult wedding. this has caused alot of str between my fi family because they think its wrong. Now Fi sis insists on being in the wedding- my wedding is next month. news flash- we didnt ask you to be part of the wedding and asking us is just wrong. ugh

tenofcups4me · July 2010

1 - If you are close enough with someone to invite them to your wedding, you should probably also be interested in getting to know their kids. I see people post something like, "I invited so and so, but I barely know their kids..." People's kids are the most important things in the universe to them. If you like your friends, learn to like (or tolerate) their kids

What does knowing their kids have to do with anything? I know and love my cousins' kids -- still didn't mean I wanted them at my Saturday night black-tie wedding. I intentionally planned an adult party -- live 10-piece band, full open bar, early evening ceremony that went late into the night, adults dressed to the nines. To my mind, that's not a place for kids. It has nothing to do with whether I knew or liked kids, but was all about designing a wedding that wasn't appropriate for kids.

jenluxsd · July 2010

"1 - If you are close enough with someone to invite them to your wedding, you should probably also be interested in getting to know their kids. I see people post something like, "I invited so and so, but I barely know their kids..." People's kids are the most important things in the universe to them. If you like your friends, learn to like (or tolerate) their kids"

This is a strange idea, since a wedding is the last place to get to know someone, let a lone a child. You are so busy trying to talk and mingle to everyone that day, it goes by so fast.

Knittibell · July 2010

I totally agree with you. My first wedding was very formal with a small guest list, and because we only had 60 ppl we had only adults, and spent a LOT on food. You wouldn't take a 5 year old to a restaurant where you spent $200 a plate- why would you assume you'd take same 5 year old to a wedding?! We also didn't have many friends or family with kids at the time- it was a non-issue.

Now for my second wedding (I'm widowed) we do have a lot of kids we love in our lives, but if we invite them we're almost tripling our guest list. Also, after talking to our closest friends w/ kids the concensus is that they'd rather leave the kids at home and have a fun time at the wedding... so again, no kids.

For a lot of brides it has nothing to do with concerns of kids misbehaving or upstaging them (does anyone actually worry about that?!), it just logistically does not make sense. Plus, a long wedding, especially one w/ any formality, can be boring as hell for said kids. It also chaps my ass to pay $50 for a plate of chicken fingers.

So, I'm definitely one of the women who think kids at parties, bbq's, etc is excellent, but leave them home for the wedding- but my family is also this way- I didn't attend a wedding until I was 16 years old.

What is so wrong with having kid free weddings anyhow?

Re: What is so wrong with having kid free weddings anyhow?

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