BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long)

xjulie2188x · April 2011

Alright ladies, this is part rant, part cry for help! Maybe you'll know what to do! My wedding is coming up in early August, and I'm starting to painc because we still have no BM dresses. It's a mess!

I'm having a less formal wedding so I originally showed them a color and said knee length or t-length and said that they could all decide on a fabric and just get whatever dress that fit those guide lines that they liked.
My MOH & 2 other bridesmaids did this no problem. But the other 2 are freaking out because they are plus sized girls and saying they hate all the short dresses on them & would rather wear long.
I should mention that 1 of the "BMs" is actually a grooms attendent, so I have considered having her & the MOH wear the short dresses that they liked & then the other 3 BM's just wear the long... would this look stupid?

I just need some advice on what to do. I really wanted a more casual look & the other 3 love the shorter dresses (and honestly they look better in the short ones too). But I don't want the other girls to be uncomfortable or miserable either. what should I do????? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!

AutumnEnchantment · April 2011

Ah I have almost the SAME problem! I too am having a relaxed casual, informal sort of wedding and was hoping my girls could just find a nice dress within my color scheme but all three of my girls are dreading it. They're all plus sized girls and I see why its more difficult to find dresses - there's just not many places to shop/not as many choices.

If the two would be more comfortable and happy wearing longer dresses, I would tell them to go for it. I just hope they can find a casual sort of bridesmaid dress and if they do...let me know. I've been looking that route now and they all seem so formal!

nnoble4 · April 2011

I would say that since its less formal, you can get away with the girls wearing long and short dresses.

What type of fabric did you request? If its something like satin, the long dresses will look really formal, but if its chiffon or something, it probably won't. You could also suggest going with them to help them find something, try on both long and shorter. It may help to have an extra set of eyes.

buckeyesweetz · April 2011

I don't think it would be bad to have some in short or some in long styles.

However, my BM's range in size 4 to 16, and even though I had a few styles picked out because I didn't feel like everyone needed to match - everyone ended up picking the same thing. This material and style is very "forgiving". I'm not sure if it is the style you are looking for though. http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-Cotton-Dress-with-Y-Neck-and-Skirt-Pleating-83690_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Short-Bridesmaid-Dresses
good luck

CLECyclist · April 2011

My BM dresses are not the same length, or color. I've seen them all standing together and think it looks great. It's important to me that they are comfortable and able to have a good time. A non-flattering dress could be a total mood killer for someone.

BCsGal · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_bm-dress-dilemma-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:aaa8b86b-772d-44e8-be7e-83ef4da781a9Post:75895d9b-d59c-48db-aca1-d4e8b15584a1">Re: BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think it would be bad to have some in short or some in long styles. However, my BM's range in size 4 to 16, and even though I had a few styles picked out because I didn't feel like everyone needed to match - everyone ended up picking the same thing. This material and style is very "forgiving". I'm not sure if it is the style you are looking for though. <a href="http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-Cotton-Dress-with-Y-Neck-and-Skirt-Pleating-83690_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Short-Bridesmaid-Dresses" rel='nofollow'>http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Short-Cotton-Dress-with-Y-Neck-and-Skirt-Pleating-83690_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-Short-Bridesmaid-Dresses</a> good luck
Posted by buckeyesweetz[/QUOTE]
My bridesmaids wore this dress and LOVED them! The girls were all different sizes and it flattered all of them. I would really recommend them to anyone with size issues/dilemmas.

xjulie2188x · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_bm-dress-dilemma-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:112Discussion:aaa8b86b-772d-44e8-be7e-83ef4da781a9Post:8ab5e9d4-18ff-42cf-a6ef-3e67e55ab962">Re: BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long) : My bridesmaids wore this dress and LOVED them! The girls were all different sizes and it flattered all of them. I would really recommend them to anyone with size issues/dilemmas.
Posted by BCsGal[/QUOTE]

That dress is actually one of the ones that I really liked & thought they would too! Unfortunately, no. :(

buckeyesweetz · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_ohio-columbus_bm-dress-dilemma-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:112Discussion:aaa8b86b-772d-44e8-be7e-83ef4da781a9Post:3839319b-a945-4b22-a296-8b767daaa217">Re: BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long) : That dress is actually one of the ones that I really liked & thought they would too! Unfortunately, no. :(
Posted by xjulie2188x[/QUOTE]

I think it would be fine to let them pick what they like then regardless of length. Remember they are your best friends, you want them to be happy and comfortable all day. Good luck - I'm sure whatever you decide will work out! :)

alinkchicka · April 2011

Ok I am going to be the selfish one and tell you to be selfish.

I think it is your wedding and it should look the way you want it to look. I had the same problem. My MOH wanted long and they other girls were in short. I thought about it for a while that maybe because she is the MOH she could be special and wear long but then I just thought it would look weird. So I asked her to get short.

My thought is most wedding you are in you don't get to pick the style of your dress you are just in the same dress as everyone else and you have no choice. We are giving our girls the choice of a style that looks better on them. I think they should be grateful for that and make no special requests.

I honestly think it would look weird to have some in long and some in short and my mom and best friend said the same think to me when I told them about my MOH request. I wanted to be the nice bride and please everyone but my mom and friend told me it was my time to put my foot down and get what I want and I think it is your time to put your foot down too. It's your wedding it should look the way you want.

green795 · April 2011

I think it really depends on how comfortable you are with having the girls in different lengths. In the end it's going to come down to how you want them to look in your photos. Because you are the bride and you will have photos from this day for the rest of your life, are you going to be ok with different lengths in group photos, posed with you, etc.? Since your wedding is more casual, a long dress in chiffon, cotton, silk (not silk satin or silk charmeuse), or jersey, with very little decoration would be appropriate. That being said, I wanted a cohesive look for our formal wedding, so I picked a designer, length, fabric, and colors and gave them a list of style numbers (with many options) and told them to pick the silhouette that they felt most comfortable in. No one complained and everyone found something they were really happy with.

I agree with pp, you're the bride and it's ultimately your choice. If your complaining BMs ever get married, do you think they'll let you have free reign over your BM dress or give you the kind of choices you gave them? Probably not. So stress to them this is how you want all the BMs to look and maybe give them a choice of shoes or jewelry as a compromise. Since longer length short dresses are in style now, they should have no problem finding something that gives them enough coverage and a shape they feel comfortable in.

Good luck in your decision!

TheBeckmeister · April 2011

Personally, I prefer them all to be the same length. I know that might be a little bridezilla-ish, but whatever. I told my girls that they can pick the style so long as it's knee-length and the same color.

Can they have the long dresses altered to be knee-length? Or is it that they don't like short dresses in general (in which case, I have no suggestions that would please everyone...)?

kleem15 · April 2011

I dont think it matters really... Although can they find a dress they like in long length and possibly have it hemmed shorter? that is what were are doing for another wedding i am in! we have a problem with having two girls 6ft tall and the rest under 5'6! the dresses were WAY too short on the taller girls, so we got them long and cropped them!

BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long)

Re: BM dress dilemma. HELP!!!!! (long)

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