Moms and Maids

MOB outfit, might be kinda long

okay, so my mom finally picked out an outfit, it's a nice 3 piece little number, but it makes me go hmmmm?  because it is ivory, the same color as my dress.  Yes I know she's a big girl and can pick her own clothes but it only comes in ivory otherwise I'd love it.  Thing number 2 that makes me go hmmmm? , the outfit has a lace jacket with see through sleeves, my dress has a lace jacket with see through sleeves.  Okay  I shouldn't mind what she wears as long as I get my marry my hunky man and for that I am grateful, but thing number 3 is she's going to be standing next to me at the alter while my dad says his line (whole other story don't get me started) so we'll be matching!  Some might say, 'just put your dad in the middle' but it still makes me go hmmmmm? thinking about that.  I have suggested something hunter green would look great on her and it would, but she keeps saying she'll add color like a purse and shoes, well she's not going to be carrying the purse at the alter so there goes that little splash of color.  Does anybody really want to match with their mother at their wedding? 
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Re: MOB outfit, might be kinda long

  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hmmmm.
  • em01092em01092 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No, no one wants to match their mom at their wedding and she probably should have had more tact and sense than to pick an ivory dress similar to yours, but she has already picked it and you will come across as selfish and spoiled if you insist she find another dress. 

    Just grin and bear it. Everyone will know you are the bride and she will look bad, not you. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with PP. I would probably side-eye an MOB who essentially picked out an identical (or very close) dress to the bride. But she has purchased it, so there is not much you can do. In all actuality, it will make HER look bad, not you. TBH, on your wedding day, you will be thinking about so many other things, this will probably be last on your list.


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  • edited December 2011
    A MOB, here.

    This question is really testing my resolve that the moms get to pick their own outfits for the wedding, without need for the bride's approval. I would not pick and an ivory or white dress for my daughter's wedding, because it's a long standing tradition, among my family and friends,  that only the bride wears those colors.

    You have mentioned your concerns to your mom. I'm not sure why she won't take your feelings into consideration. But the bottom line is - you can't force her to change her outfit. You do have my sympathy, though.




                       
  • edited December 2011
    Hmmmmm indeed.

    It just makes me wonder what she was thinking when she chose that? Did she not see the similarities?  Or....I don't know that just makes me go "What???"

    Best of luck, at least with the matching or not, no one will mistake who the bride is. I agree that it will just look odd on her part.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't have any advice other than sympathy as well.  I'm usually always in the "shut up and let your mom wear what she wants" camp, but this is odd to me.  I really don't get why she would deliberately choose something like that knowing what you're wearing.  Internet hugs to you!
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  • nannewmurnannewmur member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If  you are getting married in a casual ceremony on the beach and your mother is dark complected and has beautiful dark hair, I think Ivory for an October wedding is very strange.  Sometimes moms think they have to match the BM-maybe your mom got confused and thought she is supposed to match you?  Sometimes parents can be really out of touch with general wedding etiquette b/c it has been so long since they got married.  I hope, for your sake, this is the explanation!!
  • edited December 2011

    why don't you ask her why she chose that dress and then tell her why you don't want her to wear a dress that looks like your dress. You are not being spoiled by having this conversation you are being honest. If she gets her feelings hurt you don't have to own them, let her own them, she's a big girl

  • edited December 2011
    I would probably at least mention that while she looks fabulous in it, she might get some odd looks and whispers from the guests for wearing not only ivory but such a similar jacket.
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  • maisery22maisery22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks all, a happy ending here!  She found the Most beautiful dark green jacket with lace and colors and it's just sooo pretty.  She said it called to her and she got it so all is well! Hooray! 
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  • edited December 2011
     3 Cheers for your mom : )  Hip, hip, hooray........
                       
  • ashlidieashlidie member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    thank goodness, so glad it worked out!  I would be a bit upset too if my mom did that.  I usually hate to be the center of attention (its super hard dress shopping with people!) but i think on my wedding day it should be about the bride and groom.
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  • edited December 2011
    So will your dad, FFIL, and all the groomsmen be wearing something other than a black tux?  You wouldn't want anyone to mistake any of them for the groom or steal the spotlight from him, right?
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