Long distance family/airplane tickets?

xCorset · December 2010

I'm really not sure what the correct etiquette for this is. I'm from Pennsylvania and my fiancé is from Oklahoma. We're planning a May 19, 2012 wedding.

We're going to pay for his parents', brothers' and their wives/kids, and his grandmother's ticket(s)....but what about the rest of his family? His cousins, aunts, uncles, family friends, etc. Do we pay for them as well or is it "if you want to come to the wedding, sorry, you need to pay for your own plane ticket"?

Advice would be much appreciated!

salt78 · December 2010

That is really nice of you to pay for that much airfare. As for everyone else...they have more than a year to save up for an airline ticket. Lots of people travel for weddings and don't get their flights paid for.

FutureMrsTR · December 2010

I think most people expect to pay for their own airfare for a wedding. If it's out of their budget, they'll just decline. I think it's really generous that you're paying for so much already.

xCorset · December 2010

Okay, good. I didn't want to be the bad guy, but there's no way that we'd be able to afford more than his immediate family! Even then it's going to be super expensive!

laurenclaire1386 · December 2010

This is really sweet of you to do, but unnecessary. I think most people expect to make their own travel arrangements when going to a wedding out of town. I'd also hate for you to pay for airline tickets then something comes up with a family member and they can't make it. You'd be out a lot of money. It's totally ok to not pay for the extended family's airfare.

kara811 · December 2010

It really is very nice of you 2 to pay for that much people's airfare. Most of our wedding guests are family from OOT, but we are not paying for any of their flights or accommodations. Although we do help them in trying to find good deals for those things. People understand what it takes to plan a wedding, and they wouldn't expect for you to pay for their flights. But of course if my immediate family, i.e. parents and siblings didn't have the means to pay for their flights FI and I would cover it. People always travel for weddings, and they don't expect the bride and groom to cover for that too.

xCorset · December 2010

Thanks everyone! I need to talk to my FI because I'm even re-considering his brothers and wives and their kids. We're a young couple so it'll be mucho expensive. But this makes me feel better about it!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2010

Our families paid their own way. My mom paid for my brother's ticket.

What we did instead was to host people throughout the weekend. We had a ton of OOT guests, and we invited them all to the RD, and for bagels the day after the wedding.

garcias1 · December 2010

Since you and FI grew up far apart, people were going to have to travel no matter where you have the wedding. Don't feel obligated to pay for anyone's ticket. It is a really nice gesture to pay for the FILs. Even that is not necessary. Don't worry about the other extended family. Just give them lots of notice so that they can shop around for good travel deals and maybe use their credit card miles, if they have them.

aegrish · December 2010

Wow yeah PP's. We're not paying for anyone's ticket other than our own so that's super super generous of you...I guess if we could do it we would, or if we had someone that was really special to us that absolutely couldn't afford their ticket ...it's definitely common for people pay for their own travel tho!