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Favors

Is it tacky to not give out favors?

I was just wondering if it is tacky to not give out favors at the wedding reception.  The last 5 weddings I have been to, people forgot to take the favors so the bride and groom were stuck with everything at the end of the night!  They were great favors, people just forgot to take them.  I'm not trying to be cheap, I just don't know if it is worth it to take the time to make favors only to end up throwing them in the trash.   Suggestions?
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Re: Is it tacky to not give out favors?

  • edited December 2011
    Favors are a nice way to thank everyone for spending the special day with you. They are not necessary.
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  • fallbride1109fallbride1109 member
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    edited December 2011
    Most brides enjoy doing favors but they are never necessary nor required.  No one will miss them.
  • Kate504Kate504 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    the last wedding i went to they had plastic cups on the table with mints in them.

    generally i think older people like them. i plan on having a photo booth and it will print out two photos, one for the guest book and one as a favor.
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  • KJ7985KJ7985 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think you could easily skip the favor and no one would notice. And even if they did notice, who really cares? You just bought them a dinner and open bar for the night, they can deal! If you still want to do a favor, maybe you could do one that is inexpensive and wouldn't go to waste if multiples were left behind. Cookies come to mind...as does a candy bar with assorted candies so people can just head up there at their convenience and fill up the baggie or container left at their seat. My friend pulled this off nicely, she had a clear bag at each place setting with a tootsie roll on top with a little tag tied to it (matched her color scheme) that said "Love is Sweet!". People got the idea and hit up the candy bar throughout the night. She didn't have much left over and people seemed to enjoy it. 
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  • mrstfuturemrstfuture member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're doing Hershey Kisses and Hugs and know they will be a hit cause they are edible.  I really doubt that any of them will be left over.  In addition to the chocolate, we're doing Cherry Blossom soaps.  If they're left over, we're not too worried about it casue they have lots of uses... use as soap, to scent drawers and closets, pass on to others who want them.... What we're doing is not going to be vey expensive and its one of the little finishing touches that will be remembered.
  • Heather8505Heather8505 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree that favors are not required but if you want to do something, don't buy each person an object.  I'm doing a photo booth with the pics as favors but also considered a candy buffet or ice cream sundae bar.
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  • edited December 2011
    Nope, not tacky. The reception is a thank you so you can think of it as spending more money on reception food/drinks instead of getting favors.
  • edited December 2011
    I;m doing a charity donation to the heart and stroke foundaton instead of favour in memory of FI's grandma
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  • tovlehrertovlehrer member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i dont think it is necessary at all.  we are choosing to send everyone home with a piece of our wedding cake (we are serving something else for dessert) in individual boxes that say "Sweet Dreams."
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Is it tacky to not give out favors?:
    [QUOTE]I;m doing a charity donation to the heart and stroke foundaton instead of favour in memory of FI's grandma
    Posted by pinktulips2012[/QUOTE]

    I was going to suggest a donation also.. We are giving to susan g. komen in memory of my aunt instead of an actual favor.  Thinking about possibly doing a little bag of pink m&m's with a little note saying we gave money.
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  • tmcin16tmcin16 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm also giving to a donation...we haven't chosen yet.  Most people expect a favor, so we will be leaving cards on the tables to explain where that money went!
  • BudnotesBudnotes member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Rather than spend the money on favors that would potentially be discarded, perhaps there is a charity or local community group that you are partial to.  For my friend's wedding, she rolled up nice paper color coordinated to her wedding and tied it with ribbon.  The paper announced that a donation had been made in each guests name to a particular charity.  Very thoughtful.
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh, for pity's sake. There's a sticky at the top of the forum about the charity thing.
    http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_favors

    That being said:
    I'm *kind of* doing a charity thing. Our wedding is mostly outside, in Texas, in December. The Canadians will find it balmy, the Americans might be cold. So we're going to get inexpensive blankets from Ikea. If people take them, great! If they use them, even better! Any that don't get taken or used are going to be brought to a homeless shelter in Toronto near where a friend of mine lives. We don't feel we're wasting money, I don't have to worry about the venues' blankets getting used outdoors (a distinct possibility, we're renting the place for a few days), and I don't have to worry about people being cold. An all-round good solution.
  • edited December 2011
    Definitely not tacky. In fact, it's very responsible to not want to be wasteful. I think the charity ideas are fantastic as well as the idea someone posted to send cake home in the "Sweet Dreams" boxes. I also really like smokyhills's idea with the blankets.

    We went back and forth on whether or not to do favors for our wedding. We ended up deciding that the open bar was the favor as no one else we know has ever done an open bar.

    Try not to stress about the favors and details too much. Remember at the end of the day you'll be married, and that's all that matters. :)


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  • edited December 2011
    To be honest, I think making a donation to charity in lieu of a favor is tacky.  I think charitable donations should be private, NEVER announced. Everytime I see this at a wedding, I feel as though the couple is just trying to brag about their genenrosity, and frankly critisizing people who chose to give a small token of thanks to their guests. What are they are saying? That they didn't want to waste money on a small token of appreciation for the effort our guests made to attend but they had no qualms wasting it on flowers, a wedding dress, letterpress, photography, a honeymoon...

    Making a donation to charity is simply NOT a favor, and in my opinion has no place being announced to guests at your wedding. If you feel like you are spending a lot of money on your wedding and would like to give back go ahead and make a donation, but please do so in private. Do not masquerade a donation to a charity of your choosing as a gift to your guests, especially when you get the tax credit.
  • edited December 2011
    We wrote a thank you poem and will print it on a nice Vistaprint postcard with one of our engagement pictures. We will put one at each guest plate setting in their napkin. I think this is a nice way to show our appreciation and thank our guests and I feel it is a lot more personal than giving them some trinket or a box of chocolates (which was our original favor idea).
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  • edited December 2011
    Favors are not a necessity these days.. instead you could opt to make a donation to a local charity with the money you would have spent on guest favors.. that is what I'm doing. Everyone has said it's a thoughtful and unique idea. Who needs another tacky 2"x3" photo frame anyway haha ;)
  • pisci1knpisci1kn member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Instead of giving our quests favors we are donating to a cause that is close to our hearts in honor of our guests.  We felt that our guests would enjoy that more than a candle. You could always go that route if you still want to thank your guests for coming but do not want to waste money!
  • stinkytooterstinkytooter member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow.  I think you are tacky for posting a response like that.  Didn't your mother teach you that if you had nothing nice to say then not to say anything at all?  You could have stated your opinion about the donation idea a bit differently.  Perhaps by saying a favor is nice to give to show appreciation to your guests, and maybe by stating that giving donations is nice also to do maybe after the wedding. 
  • bballgirl8789bballgirl8789 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I are going to be donating to a charity instead of giving favors.  We are not giving to show off, but because we think it would be better than giving favors that people will just throw away or leave behind.  The reason we are putting a note card on the table saying we are giving to a charity is because people will be questioning why there are no favors.  Well at least I know many of the guests at our wedding will probably ask.  I've talked to several other people, they think that it's a good idea.  I went to a wedding this summer where they did that, I did not feel it was tacky.  I thought it was a nice gesture.
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  • ShadowAPShadowAP member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Clearly I am in the minority, but... if I went to a wedding that didn't have favors, I would feel very put out and wonder what the heck was going on and though I wouldn't necessarily call it "tacky" I would definitely call it "tastelessly cheap."  Favors can be as simple as a Hershey's kiss on everyone's dinner plate.  I liked the idea of the little plastic cups with mints in them that someone posted earlier.  I like the photo booth idea too (though photo booths can be expensive to rent).

    I'm spending a fortune on favors, but that's because what I want is very meaningful to me and to my guests and I decided it was important.  But you definitely don't have to spend a fortune - a couple of bags of Hershey's kisses from the grocery store will easily accommodate one or two per guest, and I'm sure if grandma doesn't want hers then her neighbor will eat it - very little waste.  But yes, I consider it rude to have nothing at all.
  • miaka51miaka51 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree that its fine to go without favors.  Weddings are an industry, and if the industry can squeeze more money out of you then they will.  My dad was just married in october and they had no favors but to be honest I didnt even notice until just now when I thought back.  I doubt they will be missed.  I am doing favors that can double as place cards and stemware - we are getting inexpensive (dollar store) glass champagne flutes and etching the guests names on them, then stuffing them with a colored napkin that matches that table's linens.  I figure they will be reused probably for special occasions like new years or something, and they are a nice DIY for me so my budget can handle them.  Plus, they serve multiple purposes.  We found that renting stemware was expensive, as were getting place cards, so poof!  problems solved! (my FMIL hates the idea, btw, so maybe not so great? dunno.  but i like it)
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Is it tacky to not give out favors?:
    [QUOTE]To be honest, I think making a donation to charity in lieu of a favor is tacky.  I think charitable donations should be private, NEVER announced. Everytime I see this at a wedding, I feel as though the couple is just trying to brag about their genenrosity, and frankly critisizing people who chose to give a small token of thanks to their guests. What are they are saying? That they didn't want to waste money on a small token of appreciation for the effort our guests made to attend but they had no qualms wasting it on flowers, a wedding dress, letterpress, photography, a honeymoon... Making a donation to charity is simply NOT a favor, and in my opinion has no place being announced to guests at your wedding. If you feel like you are spending a lot of money on your wedding and would like to give back go ahead and make a donation, but please do so in private. Do not masquerade a donation to a charity of your choosing as a gift to your guests, especially when you get the tax credit.
    Posted by Princess Consuela BananaHammock[/QUOTE]
    Though I understand your point of view, I disagree completely. Many people expect favors, but if they hear that you gave to a donation instead they agree that it was a better use of money. I have a limited budget so if I'm going to spend money on thank you gifts, I prefer for it to be a good cause. People like to know that this is done, and many times, the charities you choose are close to their hearts as well - especially if it is memory of a family member. 
  • lastraublastraub member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been pondering this question as well...and what I've decided is that I don't remember the favors at the last wedding I went to, but I do remember the wonderful food and generosity of an open wine bar. So, with that being said, I believe we will be putting our money into the items that people will enjoy and maybe just having some fall-colored candy on the tables (wedding in Oct.). Hope this is helpful!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: Is it tacky to not give out favors?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is it tacky to not give out favors? : Though I understand your point of view, I disagree completely. Many people expect favors, but if they hear that you gave to a donation instead they agree that it was a better use of money. I have a limited budget so if I'm going to spend money on thank you gifts, I prefer for it to be a good cause. People like to know that this is done, and many times, the charities you choose are close to their hearts as well - especially if it is memory of a family member. 
    Posted by andrea.v[/QUOTE]

    I agree... love the fact that she thinks donating to charity is tacky but cheap photo frames and a plastic cup of mints is not....(no offence to that idea personally I think its cute).  We are donating the money we would have spent on favours to the hospice who were so great when close members of my family were dying. At each of the table we will be placing a little lace bag with some chocolates and a note saying we have donated the money we would have spent on favours to the hospice in honour of our guests. Our venue is including dessert in the meal package so guests will also be bring cake home too....I think that is enough favours. Our wedding planner was actually suggesting we didn't bother with anything as he has said that in his experience 70% of favours get forgotten or left behind. 
  • sooneremt3sooneremt3 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    My fiance and I went back and forth on this one as well.  My MOH told me that I had to have bubbles, and if I couldn't afford them, then she would buy them.  I decided that since I am having only a cake and punch reception, and the amount of kids that I am expecting, she was right.  I bought bubble tubes on sale, and am going to tie black ribbon (black and white wedding) with thank you tags on them.  Total cost for the favors will be like $20 or $25 for about 100.  If people don't like them...then they don't have to take them.

  • edited December 2011
    miaka51   I love your idea! I might do the same :)
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  • SD3194SD3194 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It really depends on what the favors are. Usually if the favors are buttermints, bubbles or a matchbook I don't bother taking them home. Some of the traditional favors can get pretty boring after you've attended a few weddings. I'm giving each guest 2 truffles in a little box so I'm hoping that they will eat them at the reception instead of forgetting to take them home. I'm also going to put one on each place setting, sometimes if they're on a favor table the guests will overlook them. I saw a super cute DIY favor on here once, she wrapped chocolate dipped pretzel sticks in a cellophane bag with some ribbon. Cheap, cute and they looked yummy.
  • edited December 2011
    As for the discussion on the donations as favors...

    It's been had many times before and the main point is this:  the favors are a gift for your guests.  Would you give a Christmas present that is a donation to YOUR favorite charity?  I would hope not.  If you ever made a donation to a charity it would be to a charity close to them, not to you.  

    I'm fine with donations as favors, but IMO that means you need to make an individual donation in each person's name to a charity that is close to them - not a lump sum donation to a charity that means a lot to you.  Otherwise it is a not a gift to your guests.
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