Groom's Female Friend Wants to be Groomsman in a Tux

Bailey2be2011 · August 2010

One of my fiance's best friends is a female and wants to be a groomsman in the wedding. She also wants to wear a tux like the rest of the groomsman. We are undecided on what to do. We did ask her if she would mind being on the bridesmaids side instead and she seemed ok with it but she keeps bringing the issue up and exclaiming how cool it would be to wear a tux. I don't think I would mind but some people think it would make the ceremony seem like a big joke. I'm not sure if it would ruin having all the attention centered around me and him. I am torn on what to do and what to say. She is the one that introduced us to one another so I don't want to piss her off. Should I just say she can be on the grooms side but wear a dress and not a tux? Or, should I say we prefer to have her on the bridesmaids side? Or just let her wear the tux? I need help!!!!!

quotequeen · August 2010

What side she stands on is irrelevant. If you and FI don't want her to wear a tux then tell her you would prefer she wear a dress. Let her wear black instead of the BM colors if she would prefer to fit in with the groom's side more.

bablingbrooke · August 2010

Let her wear the damn tux.

It's not at all uncommon for a woman to stand on the groom's side anymore. To think that no one will hear you say your vows due to the gasps is very antiquated. And if she wants to wear a tux, fine. Women wear suits all the time--I wear one to court every day and no one, not the judge or the people in the jury box, ever gasp in horror.

She's the one who has to wear the outfit. Be flexible. What if your FI told you that one of your BFFs couldn't wear what she wanted in the wedding--how would that make you and your friend feel? It goes both ways here.

gottahavashorti · August 2010

She can be on the groom's side in anything the groom has approved. I think a tux would look odd on a woman but she could wear a nice black suit or a black dress.

lilianne22 · August 2010

I'd say give her the option of a BM dress or a black dress and let her stand on the grooms side. I think letting her wear a tux would look odd.

banana468 · August 2010

While women in a tux is NMS, if she has her heart set on it, why not?

Bailey2be2011 · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_grooms-female-friend-wants-groomsman-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b5e578-8741-4e63-a9ea-5c489da53324Post:6b0d25b0-2aef-47a7-9621-708da863719b">Re: Groom's Female Friend Wants to be Groomsman in a Tux</a>:
[QUOTE]Let her wear the damn tux. It's not at all uncommon for a woman to stand on the groom's side anymore. To think that no one will hear you say your vows due to the gasps is very antiquated. And if she wants to wear a tux, fine. Women wear suits all the time--I wear one to court every day and no one, not the judge or the people in the jury box, ever gasp in horror. She's the one who has to wear the outfit. Be flexible. What if your FI told you that one of your BFFs couldn't wear what she wanted in the wedding--how would that make you and your friend feel? It goes both ways here.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

<div><span style="color:#000000;font-family:Times;font-size:medium;line-height:normal;" class="Apple-style-span"><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-repeat:initial;background-attachment:initial;-webkit-background-clip:initial;-webkit-background-origin:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;">I have NO problem with this. Its my FI who thinks it will look like a joke. My pros and cons are equal on the situation so I can't make a final decision. Until this is resolved we can't pick the rest of the wedding party. I just want to know what others opinions are so that I can handle this in the best way possible. My thoughts are to have her wear a black dress and stand on his side but she seems to REALLY want to push the tux issue.</div></span></div>

banana468 · August 2010

If she is set on the tux, I'd talk to her about making sure that it's something for women. If she has curves, a man's tux won't fit quite the right way.

gottahavashorti · August 2010

What she wears is between her and your FI. But remember that your sides don't have to be even, so you can go ahead and choose the rest of your WP long before the Groomswoman's attire is decided.

mbcdefg · August 2010

www.lifeinitaly.com/images/img/image004.jpg" border="0" alt="woman suit" align="left" />

randikins · August 2010

The two weddings I've been in, I've been paired up with the gromswoman. One had a long black dress and the other time the female was in a tux. I think both ladies looked nice. And the groomswoman (who's also a friend) who wore the tux, rocked the look.

Bailey2be2011 · August 2010

Thanks everyone or your comments and pics. This has helped. I let him know what other's opinions are and I am leaving it up to him.

davenia7 · August 2010

What about her getting the same dress as the BM's but in Black and standing on the grooms side?

One of my FI's best friends is a woman, she's one of my BM's. But that works for us, since he already had 7 groomsmen and I only had 6 BM's.

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

http://offbeatbride.com/2009/07/butch-wedding-suits

If she's not comfortable in a dress, let her wear pants. It doesn't necessarily have to be a women's tux (I personally think those look costumey rather than formal), but she chould certainly wear a nice formal suit.

MyNameIsNot · August 2010

<div>She definitely belongs on your FI's side. I would ask her to wear a black pantsuit over the tux, but if she's really set on the tux, let her wear it. It isn't that big of a deal. </div>
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Groom's Female Friend Wants to be Groomsman in a Tux : I have NO problem with this. Its my FI who thinks it will look like a joke. My pros and cons are equal on the situation so I can't make a final decision. <strong>Until this is resolved we can't pick the rest of the wedding party</strong>. I just want to know what others opinions are so that I can handle this in the best way possible. My thoughts are to have her wear a black dress and stand on his side but she seems to REALLY want to push the tux issue.
Posted by Bailey2be2011[/QUOTE]

<div>Why would this need to be resolved to choose the rest of the WP? Are you filling slots in a production or asking your closest friends to stand up for you? Which side she is on has absolutely no bearing on which other friends you decide are close enough to be asked to be in your wedding. </div>

honeybunches101 · August 2010

I think it depends on why she wants to wear a tux. I know some women (most of whom happen to be gay) who would be much more comfortable in a tux or suit than in a dress. But if she just thinks it would be 'cool' or 'fun' to wear a tux for the novelty of it, then it sounds like it might be a bit of a distraction.

She could wear pants and a blouse if she doesn't like dresses, or a black dress/bridesmids dress and stand on either side.

chateauroses · August 2010

I would put her in the wedding as a bridesmaid. It would look a little unbalanced to have a girl randomly on the grooms side and only girls on the other side--plus I think some people could get the wrong impression about her. You're the bride and it's going to be your special day, I think you should lay out your wedding as you and your future husband please. Congratulations by the way.

MyNameIsNot · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_grooms-female-friend-wants-groomsman-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b5e578-8741-4e63-a9ea-5c489da53324Post:e3c6693d-e1ad-4399-9932-8d244fadd8ab">Re: Groom's Female Friend Wants to be Groomsman in a Tux</a>:
[QUOTE]I would put her in the wedding as a bridesmaid. It would look a little unbalanced to have a girl randomly on the grooms side and only girls on the other side--plus I think some people could get the wrong impression about her. You're the bride and it's going to be your special day, I think you should lay out your wedding as you and your future husband please. Congratulations by the way.
Posted by chateauroses[/QUOTE]

<div>Seriously? Is it 1956 where you live?</div>

nda_roxybabe · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_grooms-female-friend-wants-groomsman-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d8b5e578-8741-4e63-a9ea-5c489da53324Post:07879cf5-02c8-4a1f-8207-cd6734c3bc8e">Groom's Female Friend Wants to be Groomsman in a Tux</a>:
[QUOTE]One of my fiance's best friends is a female and wants to be a groomsman in the wedding. She also wants to wear a tux like the rest of the groomsman. We are undecided on what to do. We did ask her if she would mind being on the bridesmaids side instead and she seemed ok with it but she keeps bringing the issue up and exclaiming how cool it would be to wear a tux. I don't think I would mind but some people think it would make the ceremony seem like a big joke.<strong> I'm not sure if it would ruin having all the attention centered around me and him.</strong> I am torn on what to do and what to say. She is the one that introduced us to one another so I don't want to piss her off. Should I just say she can be on the grooms side but wear a dress and not a tux? Or, should I say we prefer to have her on the bridesmaids side? Or just let her wear the tux? I need help!!!!!
Posted by Bailey2be2011[/QUOTE]

Really?! Reaaaaalllllly? That's ridiculous.

Let her be a groomsman and wear a tux, I think thats great.

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