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Moms and Maids

Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)

So I need some advice from my fellow brides.. :)
This girl, I won't say her name but she's my best friend/bridesmaid is giving me aloooot of problems.
She's already a very spiteful/jealous girl (ie, never liked when I had other friends, and she hates that my other best friend is my MOH, but It's my wedding, and I'll do what makes me happy).
Anyway, the minte I got engaged, she turned green with shear envy. It made me feel like crap that she, my best friend of 16 years was just jealous of me.. Come on!
My fiance told me that within 60 days she'd be engaged for sure. 58 days later she was. She told her now fiance that if he didn't propose that she'd leave.
So now she has a HUGE ring (way bigger than mine, it's like 7 carats or something rediculous)...
And now shes one upping me on EVERYTHING to do with our weddings! Her venue her ring, her count.. everything.

Here's the kicker. Are you ready for this?
She's planning her wedding for one week after mine.
Mmmm Hmm! ONE WEEK.
She know's 100% we're taking a 2 week honeymoon in Europe/Australia..
How RUDE is this?
Have any of you encountered something so insane? I mean I know it's not the end of the world, but I told her I won't be attending her wedding, and that she'll regret not having her BEST friend at her side.
Everyone is telling me that they're sooooo sorry to hear that I'm "going through this" but really, I'm not upset. I'm MAD. All I can think of is on "Bride Wars" when Kate Hudson ruins her best friend's spray tan and she looks like a carrot! haha..
I know that after my wedding is over, I probably won't wanna ever speak to er again!
It has put a big wet blanket on my wedding planning :(

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Re: Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)

  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:229cc7f9-2d79-4b7d-901c-7d0b3a1b3ba5">Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I need some advice from my fellow brides.. :) This girl, I won't say her name but she's my best friend/bridesmaid is giving me aloooot of problems. She's already a very spiteful/jealous girl (ie, never liked when I had other friends, and she hates that my other best friend is my MOH, but It's my wedding, and I'll do what makes me happy). Anyway, the minte I got engaged, she turned green with shear envy. It made me feel like crap that she, my best friend of 16 years was just jealous of me.. Come on! My fiance told me that within 60 days she'd be engaged for sure. 58 days later she was. She told her now fiance that if he didn't propose that she'd leave. So now she has a HUGE ring (way bigger than mine, it's like 7 carats or something rediculous)... <strong>And now shes one upping me on EVERYTHING to do with our weddings! Her venue her ring, her count.. everything. Here's the kicker.</strong> Are you ready for this? She's planning her wedding for one week after mine. Mmmm Hmm! ONE WEEK. She know's 100% we're taking a 2 week honeymoon in Europe/Australia.. How RUDE is this? Have any of you encountered something so insane? I mean I know it's not the end of the world,<strong> but I told her I won't be attending her wedding, and that she'll regret not having her BEST friend at her side.</strong> Everyone is telling me that they're sooooo sorry to hear that I'm "going through this" but really, I'm not upset. I'm MAD. All I can think of is on "Bride Wars" when Kate Hudson ruins her best friend's spray tan and she looks like a carrot! haha.. I know that after my wedding is over, I probably won't wanna ever speak to er again! It has put a big wet blanket on my wedding planning :(
    Posted by herecomesthebride1986[/QUOTE]

    Stop talking about wedding plans with her, and stop comparing your wedding with hers.  She can only one up you if you give her details.  And she can only get to you if you let her.  If she asks about something just say you haven't decided on it yet, or want to keep it a secret.  Guest lists aren't something that are one-upped.  Many brides choose to only have 30 people, just like others choose to have 500.  It doens't say any more or less about the B&G.

    Your other bolded comment would probably piss me off if I was her.  If thats how you said it to her, you threatened her that she will regret it.  That sounds like a Bride Wars threat.  If she knows that you will be on your honeymoon for her wedding, then she clearly didn't care whether you could attend or not.  That is a very shitty thing for a friend to do, but theres nothing you can do to change it except choose to change your wedding date, or delay your honeymoon so that you can attend her wedding.
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  • lilianne22lilianne22 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:229cc7f9-2d79-4b7d-901c-7d0b3a1b3ba5">Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I need some advice from my fellow brides.. :) This girl, I won't say her name but she's my best friend/bridesmaid is giving me aloooot of problems. <strong>She's already a very spiteful/jealous girl (ie, never liked when I had other friends</strong>, and she hates that my other best friend is my MOH, but It's my wedding, and I'll do what makes me happy). Anyway, the minte I got engaged, she turned green with shear envy. It made me feel like crap that she, <strong>my best friend of 16 years was just jealous of me</strong>.. Come on! My fiance told me that within 60 days she'd be engaged for sure. 58 days later she was. She told her now fiance that if he didn't propose that she'd leave. So now she has a HUGE ring (way bigger than mine, it's like 7 carats or something rediculous)... And now shes one upping me on EVERYTHING to do with our weddings! Her venue her ring, her count.. everything. Here's the kicker. Are you ready for this? She's planning her wedding for one week after mine. Mmmm Hmm! ONE WEEK. She know's 100% we're taking a 2 week honeymoon in Europe/Australia.. How RUDE is this? Have any of you encountered something so insane? I mean I know it's not the end of the world, but I told her I won't be attending her wedding, and that she'll regret not having her BEST friend at her side. Everyone is telling me that they're sooooo sorry to hear that I'm "going through this" but really, I'm not upset. I'm MAD. All I can think of is on "Bride Wars" when Kate Hudson ruins her best friend's spray tan and she looks like a carrot! haha.. I know that after my wedding is over, I probably won't wanna ever speak to er again! It has put a big wet blanket on my wedding planning :(
    Posted by herecomesthebride1986[/QUOTE]

    If she's always been a jealous/spiteful person 1) Why are you friends let alone best friends with her in the first place and 2)  Why would you be surprised she'd act the same way about your wedding?

    I'm hoping this is MUD.
  • vicki0508vicki0508 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You haven't listed anything that makes her seem like a good friend.  It might be best to end the friendship and go your separate ways.  Being friends with someone who is "spiteful/jealous" sounds toxic.

    Also, your wedding is one day.  You can't dictate when other people get married.  It's not fair to your "friend" to decide when she can or can't get married.  You already have a honeymoon booked and can't attend her wedding, but that's no reason to throw it in her face about not having her "best friend" at her wedding.  While she isn't a great friend, you don't really sound too pleasant either.
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:fb0e9a28-48ed-4531-86aa-24bc0141c2c5">Re: Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I call MUD. Wedding isn't until 2011, and they sound really juvenile.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    While I do agree that its possible MUD, a wedding in 2011 isn't all that crazy or unbelieveable.  Monday is November 1st already.
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  • edited December 2011
    I hope MUD, but in case it's not.   Yeah, it sucks that someones scheduled a wedding so close to yours.  Obviously she's willing to deal with the consequences of that.  So, go on and have a fantastic wedding!
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    People this immature shouldn't be getting married.
  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    wow.  My best friend had to drop out of my WP and posslby can't attend my wedding.  She has a good reason.  She has something HUGE and EXCITING happening in her life at around the same time.  It's not official, so I can't say anything to anyone, except my mom and Fl.  I could move the date, but everyone knows it and we're not entirely sure if she cannot make it or not, but she won't commit to the WP anymore. 

    You know what... I don't care!!!  I'm so excited for her!  I will be upset if she can't make it, but if it means that I get to celebrate something with her while she's celebrating something with me, well that is really exciting to me.

    Your friend is engaged.  So what. She's your friend.  You should be HAPPY for her.  If you aren't, then you are also being a jealous and petty friend.  So what if she has a wedding a week after yours?  Your day is done, and if you guys are best friends as you claim to be, you can spend the next year (or however long) having fun planning and bouncing ideas off each other!  Turn it around.  You each get a DAY.  Not a year. 

    Your marriage is the thing that should last forever.  Not your wedding.  Grow up and be the bigger person.

    Who cares if her ring is bigger?  Maybe it's crystal or glass.  Who knows.  If you care, it makes you look like you don't like your ring and that could seriously hurt your Fl.  Is it about your Fl and the love you guys share, or is it about stuff and rings?
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  • edited December 2011
    Wow you guys have it completely wrong.
    I don't care about her ring at all, but she sends me texts every day telling me how beautiful it is. Which is cool, I am VERY happy for her.. Because she is happy. It just sucks that she "has" to pick a date when she knows we'll be out of the country. WHywouldn't I tell her I won't be attending her wedding? Everyone of my friends have told me that I better not change anything for her, because they know her, and they know that she's doing it to be in direct competition..

    As for the comment about me being too immature to get married? Seriously?
    I thought this was a place where I could vent (EVERYONE else does) and I could get positive feedback from fellow brides.

    And for wondering why my wedding is in October 2011...Honestly? It takes a year to book all my vendors! They would have all been booked if I chose only 6 months from now, come on, you have nothing to go on if you're making fun of me choosing a year from now, that's insane. I don't know of anyone who would do less than a year, it's just not enough tine! Not to mention my dress will take EIGHT months to come in. That's not including alts and stuff..

    If I wanted to be ripped apart on here I wold have made it clear. All I wanted was some advice without getting totally humiliated.
    Thanks ladies!
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Your friend is trying to one-up you on everything.  She's not exacty a great friend, then.  Just pause and think about it.

    You think her planning her wedding a week after yours is rude and then you say that you said to her "well, you will regret not having your BEST friend there."

    Both of you are behaving immaturely.  Seriously.  This all sounds like college-age drama surrounding an adult event.  Hence, why I said what I did.

    My suggestion is to just ignore the situation.  Be the bigger person and don't let one person with a bad attitude get to you.  A wedding can't be made or broken by one person (unless it's the groom, of course).

    I have several engaged friends at the moment.  We chat about wedding ideas and discuss relationship problems with concern and excitement for the other person.  That's what healthy friendships look like.
  • tpender13tpender13 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:a3add495-b360-43f4-8f7e-da76841e1596">Re: Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE] All I wanted was some advice without getting totally humiliated. Thanks ladies!
    Posted by herecomesthebride1986[/QUOTE]

    Your post didn't really ask us any questions. You were venting in public, and opening the door for people to comment. Don't get upset because you didn't get the validation that you were looking for. Nobody was being intentionally mean.

    That being said, your situation sucks, and I'm sorry.
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  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I got engaged a few weeks ago.  Our date is in June.  Do you think I'm crazy because it's less that a year?  I know plenty of people who have pulled amazing weddings together in 3 months or less. 
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If you didn't want any responses, Blogger is thataway.  This is a discussion forum.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • abbyosu1211abbyosu1211 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you ask me it sounds like you 2 don't have the best friendship.  I understand your frustration completly.......... Evidently she doesn't think of you the same way as you think of her.  I couldn't imagine not having my best friend at my wedding.  There's just certain people that you want and need to be there.  For me it's my fiance, mother, brothers, best friend, etc.  So it is sad that she set her date a week after yours knowing that you wouldn't be there.  I'm with others that have said not to consult her with your wedding plans.  The way I look at it is it's your day!!!!!! You do what you want, and who cares if she one ups you.  You are 2 totaly different people.  If that makes her feel better in life than so be it.  Atleast you will have what you want.  I'm sorry for you going through this and hope that everything works out.
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    You don't sound like a very good friend, why would she want you at the wedding? You don't sound happy for her at all. I really don't know why anyone feels bad for you, except that you are acting ridiculous. You sound extremely jealous to me. IMO you should just continue planning your wedding and focus on that. You don't need to worry about what she is planning for her wedding.

    All I get from your post is that you think her engagement, her wedding, and basically everything she does in life is about you. Somehow I doubt that. Get over yourself.


  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:79f26972-2323-4579-8d17-5412afde2f16">Re: Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't sound like a very good friend, why would she want you at the wedding? You don't sound happy for her at all. I really don't know why anyone feels bad for you, except that you are acting ridiculous. You sound extremely jealous to me. IMO you should just continue planning your wedding and focus on that. You don't need to worry about what she is planning for her wedding. All I get from your post is that you think her engagement, her wedding, and basically everything she does in life is about you. Somehow I doubt that. Get over yourself.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]
    You actually couldn't be more wrong. But thanks for coming out! :)
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  • zitiqueenzitiqueen member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:a3add495-b360-43f4-8f7e-da76841e1596">Re: Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wow you guys have it completely wrong. I don't care about her ring at all, but she sends me texts every day telling me how beautiful it is. Which is cool, I am VERY happy for her.. Because she is happy. It just sucks that she "has" to pick a date when she knows we'll be out of the country. WHywouldn't I tell her I won't be attending her wedding? Everyone of my friends have told me that I better not change anything for her, because they know her, and they know that she's doing it to be in direct competition.. As for the comment about me being too immature to get married? Seriously?<strong> I thought this was a place where I could vent (EVERYONE else does) and I could get positive feedback from fellow brides.</strong> And for wondering why my wedding is in October 2011...Honestly? It takes a year to book all my vendors! They would have all been booked if I chose only 6 months from now, come on, you have nothing to go on if you're making fun of me choosing a year from now, that's insane. I don't know of anyone who would do less than a year, it's just not enough tine! Not to mention my dress will take EIGHT months to come in. That's not including alts and stuff.. If I wanted to be ripped apart on here I wold have made it clear. All I wanted was some advice without getting totally humiliated. Thanks ladies!
    Posted by herecomesthebride1986[/QUOTE]

    Did you bother to lurk here for even an hour before posting? If you had, you'd know that Knotties are very honest and don't validate spolied Bridezilla behavior.

    And you admit that you knew exactly what this "friend" was like before you asked her to be in your wedding, so zip it. You knew what you were signing up for by asking her to be a BM and you chose to do it anway -- that's all on you, not her.

  • orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    what does MUD mean? I've been seeing it around a lot and i have no clue what it stands for..

    also, it sounds like you have a "friend" like i used to. kick her to the curb. that's what i did and i couldn't be happier. :) don't worry about her wedding. focus on yours.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    MUD = made up drama

    As in, the person either has completely made up the story for the entertainment value of our responses (troll-like) OR the person is looking for or creating drama that really doesn't need to exist.

    Ex. Friend A is a little BSC.  Reasonable response: ignore it.  MUD response: Continually feeding into it and, in general, making the problem worse.

    Does that make sense?  Hmm... I've never explained it before and now I wonder if I did a poor job :-)
  • edited December 2011
    If you put yourself in your friend's shoes, here's what I see from her perspective:

    Your friend (we'll call her Mary) may have been dreaming about her wedding with all of these details that you're considering as one-upping.  She may have had dreams about each detail months or years ago.  So, what do you do when you are getting married close to the same time your friend is, and you have all of these grand plans?  Go on with what you want, it's your wedding after all (Mary).

    Mary may have chosen a wedding date only 1 week after her friend's wedding (yours), but consider all of the many factors that went into choosing that date.  There may be considerations beyond your scope of knowledge or perspective.  Maybe she has to save up her days off at work, and that was the only time she could use those days off without being penalized.  Same could be true for her fiancee.  

    I think, if you would put on the "lens" that your friend is looking through, you might gain some insight.  Jealousy can be a hard thing to get over, and I think while you initially complained that she is one-upping you ... in reality, it sounds like you're jealous that she is able to afford a little more than you.

    She may have known that you'd be busy on a 2-week long honeymoon.  However, choosing a date does not necessarily depend on when a friend would be back from some planned vacation, if you look at it that way.  

    I realize you're upset, and I'm sorry that this is causing tension in your relationship with your friend.  I do NOT believe she's lashing out at you, on purpose, based on taking her perspective of why she makes certain choices.  Think about what you'd do if you were in her shoes, and you had a friend who is doing LESS on a wedding than you had planned for YOUR lavish party.  

    Come on... I know you can do it!  Find a way to let the jealousy go, and be a friend for "Mary."  You'll both need each other.  

    If "Mary" is vindictive, which I sincerely hope she is not ... as a PP said, don't share your specific plans with her.  Also, if there is any room to move your date, if it's that important to you to be able to go to her wedding (which I strongly doubt now) ... many vendors are flexible as long as you are still doing business with them.  Decide what's important... one wedding day, or a friendship that could prove to be valuable throughout the rest of your life. 
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
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  • orangecrush32orangecrush32 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    thanks for explaining it Joy :) definitely makes sense to me now. haha
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    OP, your original post does sound immature.  You mentioned the ring so that makes it seem like you care.  Your statement about her regretting her not having you there makes you sound mean. 

    My engagement will be 6 months.  He proposed on 5/8/10 and the wedding is 11/610.  I guess I'm crazy.  But what do you know, I have a dress and all the vendors I need/want. 
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  • sytomsytom member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I didn't read every posts, but I'm not sure I see it like most girls...

    I think it's really sad she is planning her wedding when she knows you won't be able to make it.  If I was you, I'd feel like I'm not be as good as a friend as I thought I was. : (

    As for the other stuff, please have your dream wedding and don't compare yourself to her.  You will just waste energy and miss all the fun of planning a wedding.  Money is not the only thing that makes a wedding great and it certainly is not what makes a marriage lasts. 

    BTW, friendship is supposed to be fun and easy, but that's just how I see it.

    Good luck with everything!
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto PP. It does suck to have someone whom you feel is close to you seem to have such a problem with your happy day. That being said, she probably feels the same way, about some of the situation. Not sure that she purposefully made her date for when you're out of town, but I'd ask her some questions regarding her reasoning for her date. As in, "What made you pick that date?" It may have been the only date available at her venue, or when her family could get time off, etc... I wouldn't come outright and demand to know whether or not it's because you're gone. If it comes out as so, then I'd say it's time to cross her off your list of friends. And yes, don't share anymore of your details with her. 

    People aren't too crazy with when they choose to have their dates. We set our date in August, 2010 for September, 2011. Too much else going on in life to devote my spare time to wedding planning, and needed to allow time for guests to save money for travelling here... There are those who I think give themselves too little time, but by too little I mean like a month and a half, which a friend of mine just did. Not so sure how it'll turn out, but I'm sure she'll be happy with her day. My sister had 5 months and it was fab. To each her own!!!

    I understand you want to vent, and rarely are you able to do it about the wedding amongst friends. Venting here is going to get you both sides of the argument, so I'd choose your venting venue and subject matter carefully. Sorry some can be so blunt, but it's just how life is sometimes. 

    Enjoy your day, I'm sure it'll be everything you want it to be!
    Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs :)
  • edited December 2011
    I know she has many dates to choose from .. She told me it's just a "great day"... Her venue has every other date in September, October and November available, I know this because she just told me.
    It just sucks, I know she has never given her wedding day one thought (known her since I was 7, and she's never been into weddings one bit.)
    So for example, if I tell her something, she says back "Oh mine will be the more expensive ones, I paid $___"
    Exact words.

    I don't care anymore, all I care about is my family leaving the reception remembering one thing:
    "They are so in love, and will be happy for the rest of their lives"... I don't care if they remember my $100/table center peices!

    I'm done. I'm just going to enjoy my planning and my fiance!

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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks :)
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:75f06965-0bf3-49b9-9166-808ddca002e2">Re: Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know she has many dates to choose from .. She told me it's just a "great day"... Her venue has every other date in September, October and November available, I know this because she just told me. It just sucks, I know she has never given her wedding day one thought (known her since I was 7, and she's never been into weddings one bit.) So for example, if I tell her something, she says back "Oh mine will be the more expensive ones, I paid $___" Exact words. I don't care anymore, all I care about is my family leaving the reception remembering one thing: "They are so in love, and will be happy for the rest of their lives"... I don't care if they remember my $100/table center peices! I'm done. I'm just going to enjoy my planning and my fiance!
    Posted by herecomesthebride1986[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>I love how you turned that around!  My FI and I have good friends who are both in the wedding party - - getting married June 4.  We set our date on July 16 to allow time for them to be fully participating in our wedding, but because of his masters program, and both of our jobs, we could not go any later (it was either July 9 or July 16).  Ultimately the date ended up being determined by our vendors.</div><div>
    </div><div>Perhaps after things cool down with you, you can explore whether this is a friendship you want to maintain.  That is one of the toughest decisions to make, and I'm so sorry you have to do it.  If she's in your bridal party, just be careful how much you share with her.  If she's constantly getting decor items that cost more... cost doesn't always equal beauty.  Keep doing what you're doing, and have a wonderful time!! </div>
    July 16, Our Wedding Day, is also International Juggling Day!
    image
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bride-wars-tad-longsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:3eb219dd-3126-441b-b975-cc7b53fbcc4cPost:75f06965-0bf3-49b9-9166-808ddca002e2">Re: Bride Wars (a tad long..sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE] I don't care anymore, all I care about is my family leaving the reception remembering one thing: "They are so in love, and will be happy for the rest of their lives"... I don't care if they remember my $100/table center peices! I'm done. I'm just going to enjoy my planning and my fiance!
    Posted by herecomesthebride1986[/QUOTE]

    Exactly!  Yay!
  • alyssalowealyssalowe member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Honestly if her details are copying or very similar (just more expensive) just take it as you had a great idea and great taste and she is trying to make it her own by spending more cuz she doesnt either have the creativity to find the deals or ideas or care to do so.

    Let her go broke with her soon to be husband. You should be proud of the deals you are getting for your wedding and keeping your budget in check.

    Weddings shouldnt matter how much you spent on them. No one can say my marriage will be better because my wedding cost alot (more then yours). Remember your getting married, the wedding is just the fun celebration. Dont let anyone take the fun out of planning your LIFE, MARRIAGE and WEDDING to your best friend. Ignore her.
  • edited December 2011
    Good girl...you can't control whhat other people do...just don't let it ruin your day.  That is giving her WAY too much power.  Joy!!!!
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
  • edited December 2011

    I have sent you a PM

    Bear
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