Pre-wedding Parties

Paying for shower

I was wondering if it was standard for Bridesmaids to split the cost for the shower. Ive never been in a wedding before, and my sister told me that she didnt have to pay when she was in one. The MOH has told us we were going to split the cost & has not yet told us what the amt. will be & the shower will be in a little over a month. Clearly Im not going to be Cheapo McGee and not pay, but I was just wondering. Thanks :)

Re: Paying for shower

  • m tullim tulli member
    100 Comments
    It's not mandatory.  If you all agreed to throw the shower then I would say the cost should be split.  But just because you are in the wedding party you do not need to throw a shower.  If you all agreed to throw the shower then the MOH should be talking to you about your budget and how you want to spend your money. 

     I would be very worried that she might think x is affordable when x is really way over your budget.

    If you are planning on co hosting the shower I would talk to the MOH sooner than later so you are all on the same page as far as the budget of the shower goes.  


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  • Did you agree to co-host a shower? If not, then I don't think she has a right to ask you to split the cost. If all the BMs talked and mutually agreed to throw a shower, budget should have been discussed. If you were basically told by one BM, "I'm throwing a shower and you're splitting the cost with me" then that isn't right.

    I would definitely ask the MOH what the cost per person was that she had in mind. If it's too much, I would tell her that and that you didn't plan on hosting a shower at all. You are OK with chipping in, but here is your budget.

    She has no right to throw a shower and then give you a bill for it at the end.


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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    There is no rule that the bms and MOH must split the cost of a shower. Showers are gifts and are not mandatory. Anyone, except the bride or groom, may host one.

    Now, if you agreed to cohost a shower with the MOH and other bms, each of you should decide what you will contribute. The MOH should be consulting all the hosts on the plans for the party. She does not have a right to plan a shower and then invoice the rest of you for the cost.

    I would suggest that you let the MOH know how much you plan to contribute, asap, so she doesn't think she has carte blanche for the shower budget. Good luck.
                       
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_paying-for-ahower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:b30ffb5b-9ce7-4043-87e4-114ffea0674aPost:52403710-402d-4080-ad30-0113a36fbd2e">Re: Paying for shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]There is no rule that the bms and MOH must split the cost of a shower. Showers are gifts and are not mandatory. Anyone, except the bride or groom, may host one. Now, if you agreed to cohost a shower with the MOH and other bms, each of you should decide what you will contribute. The MOH should be consulting all the hosts on the plans for the party. She does not have a right to plan a shower and then invoice the rest of you for the cost. I would suggest that you let the MOH know how much you plan to contribute, asap, so she doesn't think she has carte blanche for the shower budget. Good luck.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    Agree.
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