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May 2013 Weddings
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Crazy FMIL Update- XP

Carson386Carson386 member
500 Comments First Anniversary
in May 2013 Weddings
It turns out she is definitely my FMIL. She handed everything to FI tonight and he just laughed. Just to set the record straight, she was completely over reacting. She did not have 22 guests on our list, we did not threaten to take the guests off. FI and I had set the money aside to pay for what she said she would cover just in case she backed out. She did say tonight that she does not want to pay for anything except the rehearsal dinner and FI told her that is fine, but we don't expect anything from her. We have already set the money aside for that as well just in case. And I would like to openly apologize for all the drama she caused. Thank you for dealing with her. Again, I am very sorry for the drama she has caused.
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Re: Crazy FMIL Update- XP

  • FLGatorGal88FLGatorGal88 member
    1000 Comments First Anniversary
    Carson I am going to give you credit you handled this situation like a lady. Better than I ever would have! I still can't believe it's your FMIL.
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  • Carson386Carson386 member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_crazy-fmil-update-xp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:1fd4573e-edca-43d2-893f-5082f0ba1382Post:e21cfeea-f8b7-4ee3-9d14-95d46693e59a">Re:Crazy FMIL Update XP</a>:
    [QUOTE]Carson I am going to give you credit you handled this situation like a lady. Better than I ever would have! I still can't believe it's your FMIL.
    Posted by FLGatorGal88[/QUOTE]

    No point in freaking out about it online. I did have a few choice words when I talked to FI. I'm so glad he can laugh it off and just ignore her. He's tried talking to her many times about things before and never gotten anywhere so we have definitely learned ignoring her is less stress on us (and it makes her angry which makes me laugh).
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  • MamaBear904MamaBear904 member
    500 Comments
    I'm completely shocked. How juvenile of her. You handled everything with complete and utter grace and I commend you for being so mature about everything. If it were me, I simply would not accept any of her money, especially if you already plan to set the money aside. Instead simply say that if she would like to give it to you at the wedding as a wedding present, fine. 

    I hope she was embarrased by her behavior and hopefully learned some kind of lesson from all this. 
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  • emenz47emenz47
    100 Comments
    Way to stay Classy! I really hope she learned her lesson.
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  • turtlesloveturtleslove
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    You are the best Carson! Hope your FMIL gets it together...
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  • unclaimedpantsunclaimedpants member
    10 Comments First Anniversary
    I agree with the others, huge props to you Carson.

    FMIL, if you read this, I hope you take this drama to heart. I'm sad for you that you decided to handle your family conflict in this manner. Carson did vent about you, but didn't give specifics and certainly had no intention of you ever seeing it. The difference between her venting and you is that you were intentional with your actions, and you did this to hurt feelings and stir the pot. I don't care what the relationship has been between you and Carson or you and your son, THIS is your opportunity. Put the past in the past. Apologize, even if you don't want to. Try to mend the broken relationship. Realize that this woman is going to be your son's wife, and she will someday be the mother of your grandchildren. Don't keepy tallies of rights and wrongs. Don't pick fights. Agree to disagree. You don't have to like your family, but you have to love them and show them respect. I wish you luck and hope that you're able to play a positive role in your son and daughter-in-law's life together.
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  • mss274mss274 member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Agree with everyone else. Carson, you showed true class throughout this. Best of luck with the rest of the planning process and afterwards to you and your FI.
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  • vchan4vchan4
    100 Comments First Anniversary
    Don't you go apologizing for her craziness! Sorry you have to deal with her but it sounds like you and FI are on the same page together which is what matters going forward.
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  • DivaJenDDivaJenD member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments

    My God, you handled that better than I would have...
    Just curious - was she even remotely embarrassed by her behavior?? Does she even comprehend just how wrong and juvenile she was behaving??

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  • melb2013melb2013 member
    2500 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    I also wouldn't accept a penny from her and would have made that clear last night.  What did she have to say for her behavior?  She sought to publically embarass you- does she have any remorse?  You and your FI are very calm about it all- I'd be screaming bloody murder about it if it were my FMIL!  I hope that you really comprehend that she will always try stunts like this when you don't roll over for her.

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  • stantokmstantokm member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    For your sake, I'm sorry that it WAS your crazy FMIL.  I agree with everyone else that you were very classy in dealing with it on here.

    On the bright side, you will have a crazy MIL story to beat most brides EVER. :)
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  • RebCapponRebCappon
    500 Comments
    No need for apologies!

    You handled it amazingly.
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  • TogetherPerfectTogetherPerfect member
    500 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2013-weddings_crazy-fmil-update-xp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:ea657a87-d1dc-4588-999f-31c9deeef720Discussion:1fd4573e-edca-43d2-893f-5082f0ba1382Post:993ec9c1-5331-40c0-a0e0-ff1ee19ab70b">Re: Crazy FMIL Update- XP</a>:
    [QUOTE]No need for apologies! You handled it amazingly.
    Posted by RebCappon[/QUOTE]
    I agree. She definitely owes you an apology. I know it may seem impossible right now, but I really hope and can grow up and find a way to fix this and mend your relationship with her. You definitely handled yourself very well in this situation. 
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