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MOH vent.

AnneKatzeAnneKatze member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Short story explaining the situation:
My brother is getting married in July, 2011. His fiancé asked a mutual friend to be her Maid of Honor. The bride wants the wedding colors to be brown and pink, so she's been thinking of having the bridesmaids wear brown tea-length dresses with pink sashes.
Here's where the vent comes in: as it happens, the MoH paid the bride a visit last week, and pretty much told the bride her ideas were, well, bad. As in, the MoH absolutely refuses to wear brown. Ever. Not to mention, she completely disagrees with tea-length dresses–they need to be floor-length for a wedding! As if being completely bull-headed weren't bad enough, the MoH told the bride she needed the money for the Bachelorette Party so she knows what to budget for (who makes the bride pay?),  I feel so bad for my FSIL...no one needs a MoH who isn't acting like a friend. Has anyone here been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?
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Re: MOH vent.

  • SheDiva4SheDiva4
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is unfortunate this MOH is being a total b!t$h. I would suggest your FSIL have a talk with her. 

    The bride should not pay for or plan any pre-wedding parties.  Explain that is in nice that the MOH wants to throw her a bachelorette party but if she can't afford to do so, then she understands.

    As for the dress issue, is your FSIL adamant that ll the BM have to wear the same color?  If this isn't a huge sticking point I would  talk to the MOH and explain that she would really like her to wear brown but see if she is open to wearing a pink floor length dress.   
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Normally, the answer is that you asked her to be your MOH...you are then stuck with her.  However, in that conversation, there might have been a point for the bride to smile sweetly, hug her friend and say, "I'm sorry that you feel that way about my plans and I don't want you to be uncomfortable.  If you'd rather not be in the wedding party, and would rather just come as a guest and party, it will absolutely not affect our friendship.  I completely understand!  I want you to be happy."
    My baby girl is a married woman...and now my baby girl HAS a baby girl. Time unfolds in such an amazing way. I've been blessed!
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  • AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    That maid of honor sounds like one hot dramatic mess.

    TOTALLY disrespectful.  I mean, if a bride wants the bridesmaids to wear potato sacks in the wedding - buck up and wear them.  It's only for a flippin' day.

    No one really looks at the bridesmaids anyway, right?

    I was in a brown/pink wedding and we wore the SAME thing!  Brown, tea length dresses with pink sashes.  Not what I would have picked, but I mean hey - it was part of the bride's vision.  No bride should have to listen to the whole "I refuse to wear the color you want at your wedding" from her maid of honor.

    Girl needs a bitchslap.
    panther
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    The MOH's only obligations are to purchase the dress the bride chooses, have a good attitude and show up for the wedding on time. So far this MOH isn't doing so well. Muffin's Mom is right, the bride should let her know that there will be no hard feelings if she has decided she doesn't want to be in the wedding.

    If your FSIL is open to compromise and really wants this girl as her MOH, she might consider letting her wear a pink dress in the same or similar style to the BM's dresses. The bride gets to choose the dresses as long as they are within the girls budgets.

    The bride should not plan or pay for the bachelorette party. Are you willing to step up and take care of the details? You could arrange a girls night out with the BMs. Find out if and what each person is willing to contribute and that's your budget. It doesn't have to be an elaborate party.
                       
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  • AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    ALSO - the bride providing the maid of honor with a bach-party budget?

    Crap.  Total crap.
    panther
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  • AnneKatzeAnneKatze member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for the suggestions, ladies! I'm just totally floored by the MoH's behavior. I've been friends with her for over 10 years, and I've never witnessed this side of her.

    I'm also standing in the wedding as well, so it's already in the making that I'm taking over the Bachelorette Party. It would be kind of the bride to let the MoH wear a floor-length pink dress, but on the other hand, I think it would be giving in to the MoH's bad behavior.
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  • AliandDan2010AliandDan2010
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Weddings bring out the crazy in people.
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