introduction at reception

bridezillatobe2009 · September 2010

I'm not changing my last name and I'm really cringing at being introduced as mr and mrs lastname. suggestions? am I being immature about this and should I just suck it up for this one night?

my rationale is just that it sets the tone with how things are addressed to us as a couple later and this is the 21st century, not changing the last name is becoming more common and the femminist side of me really wants to set the record straight from the begining.

thanks for the ideas!!!

mysticl · September 2010

How about just being introduced by your first names? Like "For the first time as husband and wife BrideszillaHusband and Bridezillatobe"

MissIntentional · September 2010

exactly what pp said. we were going to do it that way, but at the last minute i decided to change my last name.

tenofcups4me · September 2010

It would be pretty weird to be introduced as Mr. and Mrs X if you're not going to be Mrs. X. I didn't change my name the first time I was married. We were introduced something like "...for the first time as a married couple, Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. John Smith."

My mom suggested we just use first names, but was not comfortable with that. If I took his name, I would have been announced with his name -- why did I have to hide that I wasn't taking his name?

I thought it was a good opportunity to let people know my name hadn't changed, though of course there are plenty of dipshits around who pay absolutely no attention to what someone's actual name is regardless of how many ways you choose to tell them (yes, that would be my ex-husband's sisters and friends that I'm referring to).

bridezillatobe2009 · September 2010

thanks ladies for not making me feel like a douch about this.

liz.baker587 · September 2010

I think it depends on how your FI feels about it. My best friend is going thru the exact same thing right now. Her FI is not happy (at all) that she's not changing her last name. So we decided that for his sake and his family which is coming from out of state that they would be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I think thats fair enough. I think it just depends how you guys are about the whole thing. I know that some guys think of it as a slap in the face and at least at the wedding there wouldn't be any whispers about why you are not changing your name.

cl0ver · September 2010

I agree with the first poster. Using first names seems ok to me!

quotequeen · September 2010

If you were announced as Mrs. X, I as a guest would take that as my indication that you were changing your name and that I should call you by that name from now on. So I would recommend against that if you're not changing your name.

PharmacyBride · September 2010

I think if you were accidentally announced wrong (as Mr. & Mrs. X) - a lot of people will forever call you by his last name - and since it is the more common thing to do- they wouldn't be wrong to assume. So getting it right on day one is important- and should be discussed with your priest, DJ, venue, and all speech givers.

Also wouldn't hurt to have it clearly labeled on your return address label post marriage.

BTW, I didn't notice your SN right away and I thought the first poster was insulting you! LOL It gave me a good laugh this morning : )

squirrly · September 2010

First names is easiest, I think. I really hate that the typical announcement excludes the bride by name: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jones, for example. My H really wanted to be "Captain and Mrs." at the ceremony, since he was in uniform, so I gave in on that one. But we were "Beth & M Lastname" with no titles for the reception intro, because I wanted to feel like it applied to me too.

While I can understand wanting to be Suzy Smith and Thomas Jones to highlight to people that you're not changing your name, I think it'll just cause more funny reactions and strange looks and sort of detract from the moment, so I'd stick with just Suzy & Thomas.

If you want to tell people you're not changing your name a bit more subtly, I'd suggest doing an "At Home" entry at the back of the program or as a card at their place setting at the reception. Also, your return address on your thank you notes can be another reminder.

tenofcups4me · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_introduction-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:1c33acc0-b220-4b4f-8449-318c9bc17777Post:7c045d20-6b7a-400d-9738-5d97d6e0f1e7">Re: introduction at reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it depends on how your FI feels about it. My best friend is going thru the exact same thing right now. Her FI is not happy (at all) that she's not changing her last name. So we decided that for his sake and his family which is coming from out of state that they would be introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I think thats fair enough. I think it just depends how you guys are about the whole thing. I know that some guys think of it as a slap in the face and at least at the wedding there wouldn't be any whispers about why you are not changing your name.
Posted by liz.baker587[/QUOTE]

For his sake? How bizarre. So she's going to hide from his family the fact the she has a different last name from him. That's going to be fun to do for the rest of her life. I could easier see not announcing at all or going with first names in that case rather than outright lying about her name intentions.

liz.baker587 · September 2010

Thats just what they decided to to and why. I don't totally agree with it. Just putting it out there because they are going thru the same thing.

introduction at reception

Re: introduction at reception

Choose Another Board

Search Boards