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Heavy Hor D'Oeuvres instead of meal?

j&n3j&n3
10 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
As my fiancee and I prepare to setting down on a reception choice, we are coming across a lot of options with meals and expenses, etc. 

Just a thought: has anyone else had a later night wedding with heavy hor d'Oeuvres, champagne, and wedding cake? 

I'm not sure if it's rude to ask my guests to travel to just eat this and not have a more traditional meal. 

Thoughts on this instead of doing a big meal? 

(this will be a small wedding)
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Re: Heavy Hor D'Oeuvres instead of meal?

  • Lisa8888Lisa8888
    500 Comments
    Some people have done it but it is frowned upon. Guests expect a regular meal.

    And what do you mean by late night reception?
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  • Lisa8888Lisa8888
    500 Comments
    A couple of weeks ago you said you were planning a brunch reception. Now it is late night.

    You also said that all of your guests were coming from out of state or were a few hours away. You are also planning a Feb wedding in Maine. You expect your guests to travel that far in the cold and snow in Maine and you don't plan on serving them a full meal?
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  • rubyredlucyrubyredlucy member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    If you're having your ceremony and reception during a regular meal time, you really should feed them a full meal.  But if you decide to do hor d'oeuvres, make sure you warn your guests beforehand so they can plan ahead and have an early dinner.
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  • LesPaulLesPaul member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    We did heavy H'D and it was fine - no one went home hungry.  As long as the food is plentiful and substantial enough to be filling, your guests shouldn't mind.
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  • mysticlmysticl member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
     I agree with Ruby.  I  know when I was looking that to do an hor d'oevors menu that would been enought to count as a meal it was just cheaper to do a meal. 
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    You can have your ceremony at 8:00 or 8:30, followed by a dessert reception.

    You could have your ceremony at 11:30, followed by lunch (we did that, and it was only $16 per person inclusive, $8 for kids).

    But if you have your reception starting around a meal time, people are going to expect a meal.  And yeah, most people will know the dif betw heavy hdo and a meal.
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  • future-mrsfuture-mrs member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments
    We're doing it!  Our reception is at 8 but even with that I wanted to make sure we fed people like crazy so we're having 4 different kinds of sandwiches/wraps, raviolis, crab cakes, wonton cups, fruit/veggie spread, egg rolls...you get the picture.  I loved that idea more than a meal becuase it's a nice variety. 
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  • thesuninherheadthesuninherhead member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    If the wedding is happening during a meal time, you need to feed food sufficient for a meal- be that canapes or a sit down meal. I personally love the idea of cocktail weddings, but would want to make sure there was LOTS of food.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Our reception started at 7:30 and we had heavy hors d'oeuvres instead of a dinner but it was enough food to constitute a meal.  We had about 15 pieces per person. 

    At the cocktail hour that was 6:30-7:30 we had cream cheese stuffed cherry tomatoes, fruit display, cheese and meats display.  At the reception we had bruschetta, bacon wrapped scallops, bbq meatballs, chicken skewers, beef skewers, sausage stuffed mushrooms, sour cream and chive stuffed new potatoes, and I can't remember what else.  Then around 10pm, we had antipasto skewers and more bacon wrapped scallops.  We had cheesecake instead of wedding cake and an open bar all night.
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  • Marrin713Marrin713 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We did this.  It was fine.  The apps came out in stages so there was always something different.  We also had a hosted bar and then cake later.  No one left hungry.
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  • jenellsrevengejenellsrevenge
    100 Comments
    We our doing "finger foods" which is pretty common for us at family functions.

    Mini pulled pork sandwiches
    Chicken Wings
    Egg Rolls
    Various Dips and salads
    Meatballs
    fruit tray
    veggie tray
    stuffed mushrooms
    pigs in blankets
    cheese and crackers
    Chicken salad with croissants
    mexican wraps
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  • bonnyandtimbonnyandtim
    1000 Comments
    I'm doing heavy H'Ds for my 3:00 reception.

    meatballs
    kielbasa (his family tradition)
    3 soups
    veggie trays
    pasta salad I think (Can't remember this for certain)
    cheese/cracker/pickles/olives
    bread sticks

    I think that's it.
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  • j&n3j&n3
    10 Comments
    Thanks girls for all the help; you really helped! :) 
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