Rain on my Bridal Shower Parade

darkmuse17 · July 2011

I'm just kinda bummed.

My brother and sister in law apparently ruined the suprise of my bridal shower, by telling me that they're coming from out of state, and that they mailed me gifts already and not to open them til this weekend at the shower. So apparently their visit was my big suprise.

The host ended up spilling the rest, since the big suprise was gone, and cuz i mentioned going to a welcome home party for my friend who just got back from living in Korea that is the same time as the planned Bridal Shower...so obviously I can't go. She also said that my two bridesmaids can't make it. I said "thats ok, my other friends so and so will be there". Apparently, all my friends were not invited, except for two people I don't even really like. None of my fiance and I's mutual friends got invited either.

Even though it's my side of the family that planned it, there are a ton of people I don't know all from his side of the family. He won't be there, or anyone from his family I even know like my FMIL. I just feel like its going to be awkward, especially without a buffer (ie his mom). I don't even really like a lot of attention on myself. Our families are also so different, I don't know how they are all going to get along without offending each other. So I'm kind of dreading this now. I get anxious really easily, and so having the suprise ruined kind of killed it. Now I just feel anxious, and depressed that my best friends won't be there and I can't celebrate my other friend's return (I haven't seen her in 3 years!). I understand, but I miss my friends so much.

I just really wish people hadn't ruined the suprise. It took the fun out of it. And now I'm scared of meeting all these new people. I'm just bummed.

I also had a crappy week at work so far...especially getting injured at work, but not enough to get light duty or get to stay home with worker's comp. No, just enough to be in pain and irritated and bruised up the wazoo (perfect for all those pictures people will want to take...)

On the plus side, I get to see my 7 month old nephew since my brother and sister-in-law are coming to visit. I guess that's the only plus to this week.

Sorry for the rant, but I just had to tell someone. I didn't feel comfortable spilling it to my friends (cuz they weren't invited), or my best friends (cuz they can't come due to their own issues), or the host. I just didn't want to make people feel bad. But I'm just really upset right now.

I just wanted to go to the homecoming party. She's only in town for a few days. :-( If I hadn't mentioned it, then the shower really would have sucked cuz I wouldn't have been there!

MairePoppy · July 2011

Ok, darkmuse, I hope venting made you feel better. Now, since that's out of your system, try to focus on the positive.

Someone, who loves you, is throwing a party in your honor. She might not have planned the shower that you would have planned, but still, it's a gift. Accept it graciously just like you accepted the scratchy sweaters that grandma gave you for Christmas. Smile, say thank you. Try to get to know some of those family members that you don't know so well.

I hope you are pleasantly surprised and have a wonderful time at your shower.

darkmuse17 · July 2011

I know I know. I'm just very disappointed that my two bridesmaids, who I have bent over backwards for in the past, refuse to come. That, and missing my other friend's homecoming. The whole suprise thing kind of backfired cuz I obviously already had plans, and I am upset to have to cancel, when I already RSVP'd that I was going to it.

I dunno, if you want to suprise me, make up some reason I should be hanging out with someone to get me there in the first place. Don't just assume I'm sitting home alone all weekend (which is what they did). They waited til two days beforehand to tell me that was what I was doing this weekend. They weren't even going to tell me today until I found out my brother, sister in law, and their baby are coming to stay with me TONIGHT, getting here around 1 am and I have to go to work at 6 am. Now THAT is a suprise. Hope they like the couch.

I understand that they were trying to be generous and throw a party for me, but at the same time, some of it is just kind of inconsiderate. (Can't my brother and his family stay at a hotel instead of crashing at my place, calling me up a few hours beforehand? Or at least give me some notice!!!) And the whole friend issue, they told me "well most of them are your friends from work and we didn't think they could get off work to come since most of them work weekends, so we didn't bother inviting them". I kind of felt that was a bit rude. I would have understood if they said "we just wanted a family-only event". That would have been FINE, and completely understandable.

But mostly I'm just frustrated. It wouldn't be so bad if my MOH could come. :-( I think that's the most upsetting part. I also just get anxious frequently and its more anxiety which is completely irrational, than anything else going on.

darkmuse17 · July 2011

My cutie of a nephew btw. That smile makes everything better :-) (He was totally looking at me, btw! His typical response to me.)

MairePoppy · July 2011

He's a cutie! That's something to look forward to.

It's a good idea to get a guest list from the bride, of course, and make sure she is actually available on that date. They could have asked your fi to make plans with you, for instance. And they could have told your SIL that the party is supposed to be a surprise. The host was a little awkward in planning your shower, but what can you do at this point? Make the best of it. You never know, there may still be some surprises that you haven't found out about ; )

Just relax and have a good time.

futuremrscoachj · August 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_rain-bridal-shower-parade?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:b5052b26-d575-43be-bfb6-47037532ccc2Post:fca6eced-2f61-4540-a7b9-6692eed20eb2">Re: Rain on my Bridal Shower Parade</a>:
[QUOTE]This is just rude to me. They're hosting a shower "for" you, but you also have to put the hosts up at your home, house I(and presumably feed) and entertain them? When you have to work??? If I were you, I'd decline the "shower." "Thank you so much for offering to host a shower for me. I'm so honored, but this time just doesn't work for me. I have to be at work the next day, and can't accommodate houseguests. Thanks for doing this, but I must decline." None of this is a gift to you. The only ones who are getting a treat out of it are the hosts.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

I disagree completely. Someone thought of you enough to hold this shower in your honor. If they wanted to just "see" other people, theyd just have a party to see them. Throwing the fact you're getting married into the mix isnt doing them any favors if all they wanna do is see each other. They even went out of their way to attempt to make it a suprise, which requires even more planning.

Its not in the Bible that you can only have one shower, and im sure there will be others for you to attend and see your friends. It does suck that you feel like none of the people you know will be there, but if you step back and look at the big picture, someone has gone out of their way to honor you and your soon-to-be marriage. Give em a little credit.

Rain on my Bridal Shower Parade

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