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First Wedding now feels like a Second Wedding
So instead of listening to friends and family, I called off the wedding and moved from Arizona back to my home state of New Hampshire. After a few weeks back home and many text messages back and forth, I decided to go back to my fiance so we could work together on our communication problems. I was only gone a month, but all the vendors were contacted by my mom for refunds. Now I have vendors I can't use because of how she cancelled the services, and we have to plan a new date to make sure we'll make it to this one.
On top of that I want to change almost everything about the wedding so it feels like a fresh start, I've already got a dress with pink in it but I'm thinking of going with light blue now. My fiance would be more than happy to go to Vegas or find the next available judge to do the honors. I'm not thinking of changing the wedding that much though!! I just want it a little smaller and simpler, we're trying to pay for it ourselves this time and it feels like having a big wedding will be a little too "showy."
Anyone else ever go through anything like this???
On top of that I want to change almost everything about the wedding so it feels like a fresh start, I've already got a dress with pink in it but I'm thinking of going with light blue now. My fiance would be more than happy to go to Vegas or find the next available judge to do the honors. I'm not thinking of changing the wedding that much though!! I just want it a little smaller and simpler, we're trying to pay for it ourselves this time and it feels like having a big wedding will be a little too "showy."
Anyone else ever go through anything like this???
~cgo
This discussion has been closed.
Re: First Wedding now feels like a Second Wedding
AKA GoodLuckBear14
[QUOTE]No. And if you broke off the engagement, I wouldn't be planning a wedding right now. I'd give the relationship more time to be absolutely sure that this is the right move.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]
This.
And no, I've never been in that situation.
Planning Bio with For Sale
Cancelling a wedding is huge, so don't act like everything is fine. It isn't. It was so bad that you cancelled your wedding. Please fix your relationship, not the wedding. You need counseling, not a wedding right now. The last thing on your mind should be a wedding.
Remember that the wedding is just one day. The next day you will have a marriage with all issues you haven't resolved. Not a great way to start a marriage.
Planning Bio
Married 9/15/11
*This is Not Legal Advice*
I agree that wedding planning should be the last thing on your mind right now. Give it some time, work on the issues that caused you to split in the first place, and then, once you're certain that you've gotten it worked out, set a new date and start over. If your concerns were strong enough that you were willing to break things off, rushing is absolutely the last thing that you should be doing.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
[QUOTE]So instead of listening to friends and family, I called off the wedding and moved from Arizona back to my home state of New Hampshire. After a few weeks back home and many text messages back and forth, I decided to go back to my fiance so we could work together on our communication problems. I was only gone a month, but all the vendors were contacted by my mom for refunds. Now I have vendors I can't use because of how she cancelled the services, <strong>and we have to plan a new date to make sure we'll make it to this one</strong>. On top of that I want to change almost everything about the wedding so it feels like a fresh start, I've already got a dress with pink in it but I'm thinking of going with light blue now. My fiance would be more than happy to go to Vegas or find the next available judge to do the honors. I'm not thinking of changing the wedding that much though!! I just want it a little smaller and simpler, we're trying to pay for it ourselves this time and it feels like having a big wedding will be a little too "showy." Anyone else ever go through anything like this???
Posted by CGO83[/QUOTE]
I'm very confused by the bolded sentence. I'm reading it wondering if you're concerned that if your date is too far off, you might change your mind and cancel the wedding again (?)
I could be totally off with my interpretation and not comprehending this correctly. But if I <strong>am</strong> actually reading that correctly: OP, you're not ready to be married (And should not be marrying this person) if you really think rushing the wedding before you can lose your nerve again is a good idea.
ETA: I <u>have</u> broken off an engagement before. Very long story short: I've only planned one wedding since that moment ... and it was to somebody else.
If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
"Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
[QUOTE]In Response to First Wedding now feels like a Second Wedding : I'm very confused by the bolded sentence. I'm reading it wondering if you're concerned that if your date is too far off, you might change your mind and cancel the wedding again (?) I could be totally off with my interpretation and not comprehending this correctly. But if I am actually reading that correctly: OP, you're not ready to be married (And should not be marrying this person) if you really think rushing the wedding before you can lose your nerve again is a good idea.
Posted by megk8oz[/QUOTE]
That was my interpretation, too. And no, I've never been in this situation, when I end a relationship it's for a good reason and I don't look back.
AKA GoodLuckBear14
Also, my FMIL and her husband DID go through this. The canceled their wedding bought separate homes and then a month before the original wedding date got back together. They got married on the original date like they had planned. That was two years ago. Unfortunately, they have had a VERY rough two (almost three) years. At some point they separated again and are currently living together. Who knows if it will work in the long run but they are struggling and trying very hard. At the very least, your marriage might not be smooth sailing...you should be prepared for that.