Wedding Etiquette Forum

Bridal Shower invites

My MOH is planning a bridal shower and I need to give her a guest list.  There are quite a few friends & extended family members that I was unable to invite to the wedding because of our budget & need to keep the wedding guest list small.

I would love to include them in the bridal shower invitation, as this would be a way for them to be a part of the celebration, but I'm worried they might make the assumption that they would then be invited to the wedding or that it might seem rude to invite them to the shower but not the wedding.  These are all women I care about and would love to celebrate with.  We will also be moving across the country after the honeymoon, so this could very possibly be my last opportunity to see some of these people before leaving.

Any advice?

Re: Bridal Shower invites

  • If they are invited to the shower, they must be invited to the wedding. Go to lunch with them before you leave.
  • If you invite them to the shower only and not the wedding, many of them will get the impression that you just invited them for gifts.  In summary, it's considered rude - and I would recommend against it.

    I agree with previous poster that you should get together with them in another sort of gathering before the wedding.
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  • The others are right.  Etiquette dictates that you can't invite anyone to pre-wedding parties if they won't be invited to the wedding.  Trust me, they won't think it's a great to be included or honored.  They will think you're rude and tacky and only wanted their gifts, because the shower is a gift-giving event.
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  • If you want to see them before you move, just plan a lunch or dinner or girl's night out that is not related to your wedding, just related to spending time with them and seeing them before you leave.
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