Maryland

Looking for a Catholic Priest!!!

I am in need of help. My fiance is Catholic and I am not. We are getting married on 8/6/2011 in a vineyard. He would like to have a catholic priest for our wedding but we don't want to have a mass. We already know that this is going to be difficult trying to find a catholic priest that will marry outside of the church, without mass and to a couple who are not both catholic, but any advice would be helpful!!!!!

Re: Looking for a Catholic Priest!!!

  • IAmLymeladyIAmLymelady member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Good luck!  He should try talking to a priest in his parish to find a lead on someone who will do it, but keep in mind that depending on the archdiocese, you might not be able to do it.  For example, the archidocese of Washington requires that you go through 6 months of preparation beforehand, and while they may not require a full Mass, I think they require that the wedding take place in an actual church.  If your husband to be wants to have a Catholic marriage, you can possibly have an intimate marriage in the church the day before and then have a public ceremony in the vineyard the way that you planned.

    It shouldn't be a problem that you aren't Catholic, but, they do usually want you to promise to raise your children as Catholics before they'll agree to marry you.
  • edited December 2011
    You have to have a very good reason to get married by a Catholic priest outside of a Catholic Church, and wanting to get married in a vineyard doesn't qualify.  It's fine that you're not Catholic, and you can get married without having a full mass (which, I believe, is pretty common when one person isn't Catholic), but you're going to have a difficult time finding someone to perform the sacrament outside the Church. 

    It would probably be easiest to get your answer if you have your FI get in touch with a priest at his church - it can be difficult to get married in a church where one party isn't a member, anyway.  They can get him in contact with the appropriate diocese and let you know what the requirements for premarital classes are.  You could also try posting this on the Catholic board (under Cultural Wedding Boards).

    Another option, if your FI isn't interested in having the marriage blessed by the Catholic Church, is a 'rent a priest', a former Catholic priest who performs marriages that resemble Catholic ceremonies.  They're often used for outdoor ceremonies; I've heard of them on the boards but I'm not sure how you track them down.
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with Laura. I am not Catholic but FH is...and we are getting married outside of the church with no full mass. However, my sister who raised me, converted to Judaism years ago. So our special circumstance is that the different of religions could make it potentially awkward for my side of the family to attend inside a church (they are Orthodox). The best thing to do is talk to a priest about it and see what exactly your options are because every situation is going to be different...
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  • edited December 2011
    Post to the Catholic board on this one. I'm Catholic and my understanding that a Catholic priest usually won't marry you unless its in a Church. I would double check though! Good luck!
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  • reesie0610reesie0610 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had this same problem. A Priest will not marry outside of the a church, I talked to someone and they explained to me that it is cannon law that they must marry in a church. Sometimes you can find a Priest or Decon that will bless the marriage.
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