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Just Engaged and Proposals
luvandlaf
member
Need your thoughts!
Hi ladies,
I'm sorry in advance if this might be long. I need your thoughts. I got engaged this past weekend. And let's just say I like the design of the ring. I just think he could have done better. I know I sound materalistic, which I am not at all. I don't dress in designers. My bags cost $20-50. I've never (and I mean, never) ever asked my FI to buy me anything. When we go shopping, I would pay for mine own. I even paid for him at times. He, on the other hand, has top of the line clothing. I have no problem with that since it's his money. But the ring (it's the only thing he has gotten me) deserves more. He got me a 1 C ring. Btw, he makes 6 figures. I think I deserve better than that. My question is...do you think my FI cheaped out on me?
This is to reply to all messages.
First of all, I want to thank you all for replying. Maybe like some of you said, I am materialistic...I just don't realize it. I should have added more to my story. It may not make any difference to you.
Please don't think that I made my decision based on the size or the amount of the ring. I had said yes to my FI a year earlier. It was not a planned proposal so he didn't have the ring then. Since we didn't have the ring, we didn't make it official until the past weekend. When he asked me again this time, I again said yes without seeing the ring. Within the past year, we talked about what kind of ring to get. And what I actually want is a ring which I can wear forever...meaning no upgrades. I want to keep the ring as it is. Since he can easily afford now, why not? We just bought a house together. We both make good money. If we were still in school, then I could see future upgrades. But we are financially stable. The ring he gave cannot hold a 1.5C diamond because the prongs are too short. So if we were to upgrade, I would have to get a different ring. I wouldn't want to give up the ring I will have worn for so long for another even though it may be bigger. Although I think he could have done better, I am still keeping the 1C as it is...no future upgrades!
I'm sorry in advance if this might be long. I need your thoughts. I got engaged this past weekend. And let's just say I like the design of the ring. I just think he could have done better. I know I sound materalistic, which I am not at all. I don't dress in designers. My bags cost $20-50. I've never (and I mean, never) ever asked my FI to buy me anything. When we go shopping, I would pay for mine own. I even paid for him at times. He, on the other hand, has top of the line clothing. I have no problem with that since it's his money. But the ring (it's the only thing he has gotten me) deserves more. He got me a 1 C ring. Btw, he makes 6 figures. I think I deserve better than that. My question is...do you think my FI cheaped out on me?
This is to reply to all messages.
First of all, I want to thank you all for replying. Maybe like some of you said, I am materialistic...I just don't realize it. I should have added more to my story. It may not make any difference to you.
Please don't think that I made my decision based on the size or the amount of the ring. I had said yes to my FI a year earlier. It was not a planned proposal so he didn't have the ring then. Since we didn't have the ring, we didn't make it official until the past weekend. When he asked me again this time, I again said yes without seeing the ring. Within the past year, we talked about what kind of ring to get. And what I actually want is a ring which I can wear forever...meaning no upgrades. I want to keep the ring as it is. Since he can easily afford now, why not? We just bought a house together. We both make good money. If we were still in school, then I could see future upgrades. But we are financially stable. The ring he gave cannot hold a 1.5C diamond because the prongs are too short. So if we were to upgrade, I would have to get a different ring. I wouldn't want to give up the ring I will have worn for so long for another even though it may be bigger. Although I think he could have done better, I am still keeping the 1C as it is...no future upgrades!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Need your thoughts!
Maybe your FI thought the ring that he got you fit with your personal style. If you're not into designer clothing and expensive handbags what would make him think to get you a more expensive or bigger ring, especially if you've never talked to him about it before.
Also, do you know how much diamonds cost? If not check out Blue Nile. Depending on the cut, clarity and color 1 ct diamonds can sell for over $16,000 so no, I don't think he cheaped out on you.
On that note, diamonds always depend on the 4 C's. If your diamond has a perfect color, cut and clarity it would be better than a bigger carat in my opinion. I could have gotten my 1ct center stone if the diamond wasnt as good. But I wanted a beautiful diamond and not something that had a yellow tint or a big black spot in it.
I am sure he put thought into your ring and there is a reason why he picked what he did. Perhaps he thought that it was your style, or a bigger diamond might look weird on your fingers (I know I have tiny fingers so a huge diamond would look ridiculous)
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Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
Perspective, please.
Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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bio
Repeat this to your self: My Wedding Party is made of my family and friends and I should treat them as such.
Sunbonnet or cone of shame? You be the judge! Trixie's Blog
My Planning Bio
My Married Bio updated March 4
[QUOTE]If this isn't MUD I think your FI sounds like a selfish jerk. He spends money on himself all the time and this ring is the only thing he got you? And instead of finding the perfect ring, and looking at different stores, he just grabbed whatever was convenient for him? Oh yeah, sounds like a keeper.
Posted by blackfire5th[/QUOTE]
AND you are so madly in love that instead of squeeing "I'm engaged!" you're asking internet strangers about whether or not your ring is good enough. Solid relationship for sure.
Married bio
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Travel and expat life blog
Also, I would think that being careful with money is a good trait. Maybe he's trying to save for the rest of your lives together. DOH!
BTW, I agree. This is MUD.
Did you care about Carat size over everything else or whether it was a nice stone? (Like perfect cut?) Did you tell him so? Why are you really mad? You said you like the design of the ring. Is there a hidden reason why you are focused on the amount of money & carat size? Like doubts about your relationship? I think so.
It sounds like you think $ = Love. From what you have written, it appears you are only focused on how big it is & how much he spent. You should be focusing on that you are marrying the man of your dreams. You sound very materialistic even though you keep denying it.
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I specifically told my fiance I didn't want anything big because I'm clumsy and would get it caught on things. I think my ring is 1/2 carat total, but it's distributed among smaller diamonds. I would take this one over any "rock" any day!
Or I screamed yes and threw my arms around him and kissed him before even looking at the ring and couldn't have been happier.
It was one of the two, I forget which.
"If you can't think of something nice to say, don't say something nice" - Stephen Colbert
[QUOTE] Or I screamed yes and threw my arms around him and kissed him before even looking at the ring and couldn't have been happier.
Posted by lalap69[/QUOTE]
That's how it happened to me too (: that's why I think it's sad that you're thinking about the price of the ring, instead of the meaning of the action. He wants to spend the rest of his life with you, don't you think that's just perfect? Besides, I think that a 1 C ring is really good, F got me a 1 C ring too (and at the biggining I though it was too big for my hands, i'm tiny), but I won't ask him how much did he spend on it because I'm sure I'll think it was too much for a ring.
Anyway, I don't think he ' cheaped out on you', that's just a silly though, just think about the fact that you're gonna marry him *I'm sure that'll make you smile* (:
That can be applied in other relationship areas as well. ;-)
"So I sing a song of love, Julia"
06.10.10
BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
[QUOTE]Hi ladies, I'm sorry in advance if this might be long. I need your thoughts. I got engaged this past weekend. And let's just say I like the design of the ring. I just think he could have done better. I know I sound materalistic, which I am not at all. I don't dress in designers. My bags cost $20-50. I've never (and I mean, never) ever asked my FI to buy me anything. When we go shopping, I would pay for mine own. I even paid for him at times. He, on the other hand, has top of the line clothing.<strong> I have no problem with that since it's his money.</strong> But the ring (it's the only thing he has gotten me) deserves more. He got me a 1 C ring. Btw, he makes 6 figures. I think I deserve better than that. My question is...do you think my FI cheaped out on me?
Posted by luvandlaf[/QUOTE]
If it's his money, why are you thinking he cheaped out on you? I make 7 figures(circle, triangle, quadrilateral, pentagon, hexagon, hyperbola, and parabola), but our rings (all 3) were under a $1K total. Were we too cheap?
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BFP 8/01/12, EDD 04/10/12, mm/c @ 6wks, discovered at 8wks, D&C 9/05/12
From you logical my 6 figured income DH cheaped out by giving me MIL's 1+ct diamond. I guess I should be upset he only paid $2k for a new setting.
With your logic, your FI's love for you and ring size are directly related. My FI makes 5 figures and I got 1.5ct...guess he loves me more than your FI loves you!
I'm a little concerned when you say the ring is the only thing he's ever gotten you. Really? Ever? FI and I don't make six figures combined, but we buy little things for each other all the time. It's just part of how we express that we love each other.
Y'all need some premarital counseing and a pre-nup, because it sounds like your relationship has some serious issues.
This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284