Open Bar Tip Jars?

lyndausvi · February 2010

ten - my dad is the same way.

We paid our bartenders $30 an hour for 8 hours (reception was 5 hours of that) and we tipped them $150. I think they got paid a descent amount. I know my friends tipped them even more. Which is fine, but I was not about to have put out a tip jar out.

MeaghanandMichael · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:be7d6555-609a-4b83-a813-882ada788517">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's tacky. We had an open bar at my wedding, and I triple-checked with my venue that there would NOT be a jar or any other sort of request for tips. Jars show an expectation for at tip, and we were already covering that for our guests - for the bar and the servers. And BlueEyed, I used to bartend as well. I know that if someone wants to tip for service, they are going to do whether or not there is a jar sitting there. An experienced bartender knows how to quickly pocket cash w/out anyone else being the wiser.
Posted by CCBelle[/QUOTE]

Common sense AND class... must be why I love you CC.

OP- disregard any posters who may have told you putting a tip jar out is ok. Guests should never ever have to open their wallets for ANY reason.

I love people who swoop into etiquette boards with no sense of etiquette and spew horrific advice. GAH!

CCBelle · February 2010

Love you, too, Meg!

goheels05 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:ef9b143e-41d0-4565-8516-e24c4bc7eeec">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]I only say yes because I have been bartending 12 years and when we have events with open bar and set gratuity, its not as much as you think(and its taxed through the roof). I dont see any harm in them having a tip jar. As we bartenders always say, the drink may be free but the service isnt. :) Plus, most people like to tip, even when its open bar. I would be uncomfortable walking up to a bar, getting a free drink, and walking away without leaving something. Its like paying for your meal with a gift card. Would you not leave the waitress something just because the meal was free? Its not like having the tip jar makes it mandatory to tip. It just leaves the option.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

That's an absurd argument. Bartenders' tips get taxed just like everyone else's income, and they should also be reporting and being taxed on cash tips. And like Fishy said, analogy fail. Host pays, host tips.

Blueyed228 · February 2010

All Im saying is that I dont think people care if there is a jar or not. They are going to tip anyways. Ive been to lots of weddings and every one of them had a tip jar. No one thought twice about it or thought it was rude. Most people also know that you have covered the bartenders fee, and still tip.

Like PP's said, some places dont let you have the option, they just do it.

Of all the things people are going to talk about from your wedding, I doubt a tip jar is one of them.

beatlesgirl25 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:e8d3d399-f183-477f-aa88-eb8420e4afdb">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]All Im saying is that I dont think people care if there is a jar or not. They are going to tip anyways. Ive been to lots of weddings and every one of them had a tip jar. No one thought twice about it or thought it was rude. Most people also know that you have covered the bartenders fee, and still tip. Like PP's said, some places dont let you have the option, they just do it. Of all the things people are going to talk about from your wedding, I doubt a tip jar is one of them.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

Finally, someone is putting wedding guest exit interviews to good use. I'm glad someone around here knows what everyone thinks or doesn't think so we can settle this issue at last. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" />

So people might not say anything about it, but that doesn't take away the experience of feeling obligated to pay for something at a wedding. And I would hope that there weren't bigger offenses in someone's wedding to "talk about" that would make me forget a tip jar. Just don't do it, simple as that.

tenofcups4me · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:e8d3d399-f183-477f-aa88-eb8420e4afdb">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]All Im saying is that I dont think people care if there is a jar or not. They are going to tip anyways. Ive been to lots of weddings and every one of them had a tip jar. No one thought twice about it or thought it was rude. Most people also know that you have covered the bartenders fee, and still tip. Like PP's said, some places dont let you have the option, they just do it. Of all the things people are going to talk about from your wedding, I doubt a tip jar is one of them.
Posted by Blueyed228[/QUOTE]

And several of us here just said we DO notice and have had conversations about it.

MeaghanandMichael · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_open-bar-tip-jars?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:059a896e-ab67-4cea-93f9-0ecdf6b46f87Post:cb86971f-295a-4b19-95e2-b0290b3c9ad1">Re: Open Bar Tip Jars?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Open Bar Tip Jars? : Finally, someone is putting wedding guest exit interviews to good use. I'm glad someone around here knows what everyone thinks or doesn't think so we can settle this issue at last. So people might not say anything about it, but that doesn't take away the experience of feeling obligated to pay for something at a wedding. And I would hope that there weren't bigger offenses in someone's wedding to "talk about" that would make me forget a tip jar. Just don't do it, simple as that.
Posted by beatlesgirl25[/QUOTE]

BWAHAHAHHA. love it.

the rest of the response is worth quoting too - just for the sheer reiteration factor...

Karen's MOH · February 2010

Agree with msmerymac. I am paying the bartenders, paying for the open bar, and I am will pay their tip, just like I will tip the waiters. It's very awkward when they have the tip jars out on display.

JHS16 · February 2010

Wow, thanks everyone for your feedback! I had a feeling several people would find it rude, tacky, or cheap, so we'll go ahead with our plan to pay the tip ourselves and leave more room on the bar for our specialty drink signs.

EDIT: It's only $150 more for 5 hours, worth it to us, though I wonder if the bartenders would typically receive more than that in tips for the night.

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