Two Families. Two States. Zero Compromise.

Re: Two Families. Two States. Zero Compromise.

• tawillers member

  

  February 2013

  You need to stop listening to your families and get married where you and your FI want to get married.  If it's too far for people, so be it.
  
  Do you really believe grandma will call ALL of your FI's family and make sure they don't go to your wedding out of spite?  If she can make that happen, personally, I'd be happy to be rid of those nasty people.
  
  I'm sorry she's making it tough for you, but you are allowing her to do it.  If you just stop giving her power by listening to her demands (and everyone else's), you'll be much happier.  Do what you and your FI want to do.

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• TheMrsC23 member

  

  February 2013

  OH Geeze.  DH's grandma is that kind of spiteful and she's never followed through on anything.  I think that Taw gave you great advice. 
  
  Plusalso, FI's grandma = FI's problem.  Don't worry about whether or not she's going to follow through.  He needs to deal with his family and their (crazy, weird) dynamics when stuff like this comes up.

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• GBCK member

  

  February 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_two-families-two-states-zero-compromise?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:c16e86b7-db04-4381-8c63-41b2a33439c1Post:eb50b09d-c2f9-4384-9405-25e36fb625af">Two Families. Two States. Zero Compromise.</a>:
  [QUOTE]My fiancés grandmother told us today that if the wedding is in Houston (my hometown and where 95% of the guests live) she and the rest of his side of the family will not come because it's favoring my family too much. But my family has told me that I need to do it where the least amount of people will have to travel. My fiancé says that we should just do the wedding in the middle and make everyone travel, but I'm not sure I'm comfortable asking everyone that's coming to drive at least 3.5 hours. I'm at a loss. Any advice.
  Posted by JaimeHoward1[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>So your Fi's solution is to inconvienience your family to make his grandma happy?  Not because it's where you want the wedding, but as a way of appeasing her?</div><div>
  </div><div>She sounds like a peach.</div>

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• MNNEBride member

  

  February 2013

  Ditto to pp advice.  Also, this is just the first of the distance guilt you will get from families for every holiday.  Especially after you have children.  You and your FI need to make a decision and create a united front.  He then deals with his family and you with yours.

  

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• ReturnOfKuus member

  

  February 2013

  Talk to his gradmother less.

  

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• auroraborealisabc member

  

  February 2013

  I'm in agreement with those above...
  
  Just get married where you want to.  Period.
  
  My fiance and I had a similar problem (my family lives in United States, his in Australia) so no matter where we had it someone would have to be traveling a long ways.  My family was pushing for Idaho (where most of them live, but we don't, lol).  We decided if people were going to be traveling, we wanted them to travel some place they might like to travel anywhere (destination wedding).  We settled on Disneyland (Hawaii, San Fran, and Las Vegas were all on table as well).
  
  It sounds like for you, people are being quite unfair to you and they have to realize that someone is going to have to budge.  Decide on a venue, let people know... if they can't come, they can't come, and it's mostly their problem.

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