Groom's Gift? BM Gifts?

Re: Groom's Gift? BM Gifts?

• gottahavashorti member

  

  February 2010

  1 - It's not required
  
  2 - Shop for things they'd like.  If they'd like a tote bag, get one that's their style as long as it's not one that has your wedding date or "Bridesmaid" on it.  The gifts don't have to be the same.
  
  3 - If you're having personal attendants, get them something big.  Or let them off the hook.  It's a job and not so much an honor position.

  
  
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• psichick

  

  February 2010

  no you don't have to get the groom anything if that's what you two decide to do. if you do want to get him something, get him something that he will like. what types of things is he into? gadgets? sports? act like you were shopping for his birthday or christmas.
  
  a tote bag isn't a bad idea, as long as there's some goodies in it imo. nothing major, but things that they would like and use. flip flops, beach towels, or a "spa kit" or something would be nice for them.
  
  i'm honestly not sure what you mean by a "personal attendant" so i can't really help there.

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• mbcdefg member

  

  February 2010

  1. Whatever he wants. Or nothing.
  
  2. If they will like them, sure.
  
  3. If they will be doing tasks or work for you, then I would pay them. If it's just a name for girls who are in the wedding party and who are not working, then get them things they'll like.
  

  

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• emilyinchile member

  

  February 2010

  1. No
  2. Shop for them like it's their birthday (and read the first post on this board, you're new here, and it has good advice including this piece of information)
  3. PA is a crappy job. It's basically "you're not good enough to be a BM, but you can be my gopher for the day." If you insist on having them, then please re-read #2.
  
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• trix1223 member

  

  February 2010

  #1:  Only you know if you and your groom have that relationship where he'll expect something.  Your call.
  
  #2:  I wouldn't want yet another tote bag.  But maybe that's because I seem to have a zillion of them.  If you know that your friends want/need one, fine.  But you'd do better to get them a gift that reflects their interests, rather than another tote bag.
  
  #3:  The best gift you can give a personal attendant is to tell them that they don't have to be your Personal Attendant and that they can enjoy your party.  You're a bride not a movie star.  You don't really need a personal attendant at all.
  
  If you're not going to let them enjoy the party, then write them each a big ole check, because what you're really doing is making them work as a DOC instead of being a guest.  And you have to pay DOCs.
  

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

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• bablingbrooke member

  

  February 2010

  1.  If you have to ask strangers for a groom gift, you should have your answer.

  
  

  2.  I think a tote is fine.  I personally can't get enough of them.

  
  

  3.  A PA = paid position.

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• lauralaur member

  

  February 2010

  1. H and I agreed not to exchange gifts as we thought we'd like to have more spending money for the honeymoon instead. But, that was something we talked about. You could always ask your fi if he wants to do gifts, maybe he'll say no and you guys can use the money to get a massage or something on the honeymoon.
  
  2. I, personally would love a tote bag. I can always use a good canvas tote bag for a beach bag. But, you know your girls better than we do, would they like a tote bag? Maybe yes, maybe no.
  
  3. I don't know what you'd get the personal attendants. Something good. I share the sentiment around here that this is a position that is not so much desired by anyone.

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• SocialWorker2B member

  

  February 2010

  1. You need to talk to your groom. A lot of people agree that they are spending so much money on the wedding that they don't need to buy yet another gift - "the wedding is their gift to each other" - I personally don't agree with this since I feel I will want to be able to say to my kids someday "Dad got me this on our wedding day."
  
  So, I got him a Celtics/TV grooms cake, a Celtics bobblehead thingymabob without the bobble part, Celtics cuff links, Celtics jersey that I wore for some of my b-pics, the actual bpics themselves, I wore a Celtics garter and for his main gift - he picked out a nice watch for himself.
  
  2. I don't agree that totes CAN'T be given as BM gifts but just because they CAN be doesn't mean they SHOULD be. Do your friends like totes? Would they use it? By all means then, yes but make sure to fill each one with individual things - different things!! - that you know each one would like. To echo pp, shop like it's their birthday.
  
  3. Have you already asked these PAs? If so, unask them immediately. If not, do not under any circumstances, ask them. I would be truly insulted if I was asked to be a PA. It's a crap unpaid job and certainly not an honor. If you absolutely have to have them, they should definitely get a job. Follow the same logic as the BM gifts - shop like it's their birthday.
  
  GL and HTH!
  

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