A few days ago I posted about all the problems we were having and FI's doubts, but at that point I still had hope that it would work out. FI told me to keep planning and we even went and picked up our marriage license. Well late Thursday night he told me he didn't only want to cancel the wedding but he doesn't want to be with me at all. I have been crying for the last two days, I haven't been able to sleep, I have little to no apetite and just don't know what to do with myself. I can't really even bring myself to accept that this is real.
And he is acting like nothing has changed, he is persistent that he still loves me but that this is all just too much. We have been through so much together and now that it is all starting to work out (we both got better jobs, we have been communicating better....) he decides it will be easier to just quit. But he still wants to come to counceling with me, and he talks to me like nothing has changed, telling me about work and other every day things.
He is coming here tomorrow and we are supposed to discuss things more then, since everything sofar has been over the phone with him being at his mother's house most of the week for work. My parents didn't want him spending the night in their house but since he wants to come to counceling on monday they are letting him.
My parents called all the vendors yesterday and started calling family. And since it is less than 30 days from the wedding my parents have to pay in full. I told them I will pay them back for everything and they said no but I still want to. The Dj was nice enough to tell them that they are technically supposed to pay in full but he isn't going to make them. And my MOH told me she didn't want her shower gift back and she didn't want any money for her dress. One other guest also refused to take her shower gift back, she said to put it into the babys account instead.
So on top of this, my brother broke his wrist the same night, FI is sick again with strep, a double eye infection and a double ear infection. He has no insurance (we were going to find him a doctor as soon as we were married and he was on my insurance) so he goes to a walk in clinic where the doctor there told him that his getting sick so much is not good and he should be tested for immune disorders. Our would be best man broke up with his serious GF, our daughter was sick for 3 days with a persistent fever of 102 (probably not what FI had, more likely a virus or the result of a vaccination according to the pediatrician). I never really believed in Friday the 13th being bad luck but this one made me a believer.
So the weekend the wedding would have been I will be taking our daughter up to NH for the weekend so we can go to Storyland. I just really can't be anywhere near here that day.