Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...

cwill6212 · April 2012

@ Special K - I love the picture on your siggy!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_closed-reception-to-family-and-very-close-friends-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:272cd013-ecf7-4118-a6a2-230bed784478Post:1a3549c0-e37f-4604-97bc-3edbc7d4284b">Re: Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Closed Reception to family and very close friends only... : Maybe she's the sister of the VR photographer donation thread, you superior weasel.
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]

myname1234 · April 2012

here are ideas that are much less vulgar than what you are proposing.

1. cut your guest list to the 150
2. pick a cheaper menu option for the reception so you can still feed all 200
3. cut the extras splurges on yourself that are necessary...you really don't need a limo,
diamond tiara nor $3000 dress.
4. go for cheaper invitations. if you avoid the square ones and the heavier ones, you

save on the invite as well as the postage
5. have a dry or limited option bar.
6. DIY things vs buying things.
7. skip favors
8. Have a friday night wedding or an off-time wedding
9. cut the dance an hour shorter...may save on DJ time
10. don't include any kids (don't write "adults only") to save heads on the 150.

monkeysip · April 2012

Seriously? If you can provide a meal and alcohol for 150 people, then you can most certainly provide SOMETHING for 200. Even if it's just cake and punch.

If having all 200 people there is important to you, then scale back in some other way.

I hate it when people play the poor card to excuse bad etiquette. A lot of us are on tight budgets, OP.

RYLZ · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_closed-reception-to-family-and-very-close-friends-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:272cd013-ecf7-4118-a6a2-230bed784478Post:a0568f8c-0b4c-4006-a024-3ce3942f01f7">Re: Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...</a>:
[QUOTE]To the OP, if you're having trouble coming up with the proper wording on your own, then that should be a pretty good indicator that it's wrong.
Posted by MrsKathyC[/QUOTE]

This. I'm guessing OP, that when you tried to come up with variations of "Due to financial constraints, a small group of you are cordially invited to attend only the ceremony", none of them sounded right. Why? Because they're wrong!

There is a simple solution: if you must have all 200, then plan a cheaper per person affair that meets your budget and if you must have the menu/bar/set-up you've already planned, then invite the number of people that fall within your budget.

Habs2Hart · April 2012

I'm still waiting for the DD. I'm sure it's coming.

MrsKathyC · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_closed-reception-to-family-and-very-close-friends-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:272cd013-ecf7-4118-a6a2-230bed784478Post:0112816b-d990-445b-96a4-d939c368e191">Re: Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm still waiting for the DD. I'm sure it's coming.
Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

Why do they almost never come back.... dammit

Carla1019 · April 2012

OP - would you rather hear it from us that your idea is not good or have your second class friends / associates talk behind your back?

You have 7 months before your wedding, it is not too late to do what is right.

Viczaesar · April 2012

Budget is never a good excuse to act like a twunt. This idea is one of the most inappropriate wedding-related things possible. Seriously. EVERYONE invited to the ceremony is invited to the reception. Everybody. No exceptions. The reception is a thank you for your guests for attending the ceremony. You can't just not thank 1/4 of your guests. No one will appreciate you treating them like crap and only inviting them to the cheap part of the wedding.

polichik · April 2012

In Response to Re:Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...:Let me spell this out for you. When you come onto an etiquette board and ask us to refrain from informing you that you're committing a huge breach of etiquette, you're setting up everyone in the situation to be pissed off. You know what you're doing is wrong, and you don't seem to care. All I can say is that some brides have an extremely inflated sense of self importance and think that everyone you know will be devastated to not get invited to the ceremony. They might be sad to not get invited, but a brief disappointment is much better than total insult and outrage at being a second tier guest. Really think about this.Posted by polichikOMG, I love you. That is so perfect. Posted by Snippylynn[/QUOTE]Thanks babe ;

jemmini6 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_closed-reception-to-family-and-very-close-friends-only?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:272cd013-ecf7-4118-a6a2-230bed784478Post:58dc663c-3070-4236-86e4-45eb744258fb">Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, I'm planning my wedding for December of this year...our guest list is over 200 people, but due to budget being very tight we are only have a reception for our family members and a few very close friends. My concern is how to word this on our invitation. I do not want to offend anyone, but we have to keep our reception down to 150 people to afford it. Most of our reception people are our family (we both have fairly big families) but we have very close friends that we spend a great deal of time with that we want at the reception as well. Just so you know, I'm not looking for a huge back lash of people who think this is rude...<strong>you just got to understand that some brides dont have the financial ability to invite everyone to the reception</strong>...and I'm not going to just completely univite them all together either because I feel that is more rude when you choose not to involve them at all. So please, do not "yell" at me for having to chose a closed reception. All I am looking for is help in wording my invitation! Thank you
Posted by klg33087[/QUOTE]

Shiit! You mean that I had an unlimited budget that no one told me about??

Nope, I definitely had a limit, and guess what? I figured out a way to cut my guest list to have everyone a part of the ceremony AND reception.

What you are proposing is extremely rude, and no one here can help you figure out a way to word this on your invite since there's no polite way to be an asshole.

hannahmassey · April 2012

In Response to Re:Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...:[QUOTE]Maybe it would make it all better if she threw some McDonald's coups in with the invitation for the losers who dont get to go to the reception. Posted by button6004[/QUOTE]
Laughing my rear off. Bwahhahah

chrmun · April 2012

OP, don't listen to these bitches. They're just jealous, or something and I feel sorry for their husbands. I think what you're doing is a great idea, even if it's totally rude. What you should do is write a poem. Everyone knows that you can get away with etiquette murder if you you write a cute poem. Maybe something like:

We'd love to have you on our special day
but this shiit's expensive and we can't pay
Please excuse our tacky thrift
Just come to the church and bring a gift

(LOLZ! Just kidding! It's a horrible idea!)

RamonaFlowers · April 2012

Short of one of my siblings or very bestest friends in the whole wide world getting married, I can't imagine ever getting offended by somebody simply not inviting me to their wedding. I know wedding's are expensive, so not being invited at all is something I can completely understand.

However, getting invited and then told I'm one of the 25% of the guests that was good enough to fawn all over you at your ceremony and give you a gift, but wasn't good enough to feed on the other hand? Oh, yeah, I'm going to be offended ... and not bother coming at all. I don't care who you are, or what your money situation is, telling people (Publicly or privately) that they aren't in the "top 75%" in a group makes you a crappy friend.

NOLAbridealmost · April 2012

Begins slow clap for churmin

jesslynn1012 · April 2012

OP (if you ever come back), I had a friend (from grade-high school that I don't talk to much) do this and I was invited so I didn't see anything differently on the invite... but she invited everyone on her facebook to check out her wedding website, and on that website it had all the information for the ceremony, and then under reception information it specifically said "by invite only". I thought it was odd, but to each his own. I think that could be an option for you. (btw this friend also seemed to have "sponsors" for her wedding and gave advertisement everywhere repeatedly the different vendors she used... I thought it was tacky, but it was her choice).

saacjw · April 2012

The ONLY way I've ever seen this work is if there is a cake and punch reception for everyone, followed by a VERY intimate dinner. Parents, siblings, a few aunts and uncles maybe, 30 people tops. My parents did that, but made sure that everyone who attended the wedding was given some sort of refreshment and was greeted and spoken to. The people invited to the after reception dinner were told verbally.

Closed Reception to family and very close friends only...

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