Jack and Jill?

kari316 · March 2010

What do people really feel about Jack and Jill showers? I agree it could be fun... but I feel like guys really don't want to go to any kind of shower, so why invite twice as many people and spend twice as much money? My friend's MOH is pushing for a J/J shower, and altho the bride's aunt chipped in a lot of $$, which would easily cover a nice party for all of the women, she's getting quotes from fancy restaurants for as many people as most people have at their actual wedding, that mean asking all the BMs to chip in hundreds of dollars more. As soon as I mentioned it to my husband he rolled his eyes and was like "whyyyy???" I'm sure the guys would wind up having fun but given that they will all probably have that reaction, I feel like this is a little carried away for a shower. The wedding is the big party with all the guys and girls having fun together, isn't the shower supposed to be an intimate low-key thing for the girls to celebrate with the bride?

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

Yes, a shower is supposed to be a low key intimate thing. For some, having male/female is the better option. It's really up to the shower host. In my area, couple's showers are very common, and are usually backyard cookout sort of things, not like a traditional shower.

But regardless of what kind of shower it is, if the MOH is throwing it and making decisions, she is way out of line to just expect to invoice people for part of the bill. If you are one of the BMs, you need to say to her "my budget for the shower is $X, and I'm not going to give you more than that." If the MOH wants to take on that expense, that's her right. But she has no right to demand money of anyone else.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · March 2010

I would go with whatever your aunt feels comfortable hosting. It sounds like girls it is! If you had a lot of guy friends, I would think differently, but if the guys would mostly be your FI's friends, I'd just let this one lie.

kari316 · March 2010

I have heard from some of the other BMs that they can't afford the extra money... but no one wants to be the one to say no... The MOH says this is what the bride and groom want but I feel like it's not right for them to ask us to make a big crazy party (they want to invite 80 people!). I feel like if they want a couples shower, let's have a BBQ at someone's house and do it in a way we can afford and they should be happy that we made it for them. A large coed party at a restaurant with open bar... to me that's called The Wedding... ?

Jack and Jill?

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