honeymoon registry?

futuremrsmurphey · September 2012

do you find this trashy?

have you done this?

The reason I ask is because we already own our home, we have for three years this year. So a registry is pointless.

Thanks!

Jells2dot0 · September 2012

I recommend doing a search of this board (toward the bottom of the page is a search tool) and read all of the responses. You're going to the same responses to your question as the others did and they aren't favorable.

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

Please read these threads about honeymoon registries.

The responses are the same that you'd get on any thread about this topic, they are simply the most recent ones to come up around here.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_registering-for-the-honeymoon

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registries-12

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_honeymoon-gift-registry

arrestclementine · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:48cb7e00-7ce1-4cad-803c-d8dfe6fa8383">honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]do you find this trashy? have you done this? The reason I ask is because we already own our home, we have for three years this year. So a registry is pointless. Thanks! :)
Posted by futuremrsmurphey[/QUOTE]

Yes it is tacky. If you really don't need or want anything, it's simple don't register. We also owned our home and had lived together for 5 years before getting married. We needed plenty of stuff but didn't want to register because I felt weird about it. So I had no registry, no shower, and most people gave us cash or checks. Please have the honeymoon you can afford. No one wants to pay for your vacation.

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:48cb7e00-7ce1-4cad-803c-d8dfe6fa8383">honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]do you find this trashy? have you done this? The reason I ask is because we already own our home, we have for three years this year. <strong>So a registry is pointless.</strong> Thanks! :)
Posted by futuremrsmurphey[/QUOTE]

No it's not. I find it incredibly hard to believe that you don't need one darn thing.

Pattyb11 · September 2012

We are doing one and I don't really care what most ppl on the knot say about it. We don't really need much for a home as well and I don't really see how it is any different than doing a normal registry. Either way you are asking for gifts and/or money. We both love to travel so this makes sense to us. We also did do two small "normal" registries for our guests who would prefer to give us a gift from there. It's your wedding, do what you want. There is no room to judge people. We have had friends who have done honeymoon registries and their guests loved it. If a guest doesn't like it then they can give you cash or no gift at all.

I know this response to supporting a honeymoon registry is going to get a lot of backlash from the other gals on here, oh well. I am not changing my mind on my stance so please don't respond with a bunch of posts saying how tacky it is. Thanks!

allychase · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:61485c20-1bc8-49ed-8ba2-03a0ef365717">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to honeymoon registry? : Yes it is tacky. If you really don't need or want anything, it's simple don't register. We also owned our home and had lived together for 5 years before getting married. We needed plenty of stuff but didn't want to register because I felt weird about it. So I had no registry, no shower, and most people gave us cash or checks. Please have the honeymoon you can afford. No one wants to pay for your vacation.
Posted by amber0389[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Lol @ "honeymoon you can afford" That always gets me. The couple doesn't even receive the money til the wedding... and more than likely the trip is already booked and the money would go towards excursions. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, by this logic, don't register for a 500 dollar dyson vacuum unless you can afford it anyway. No one wants to pay for a vacuum you can't afford. Everyone knows that.

</div>

AdeleDazeem · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:1c75ee50-d6f4-41a0-926e-359d9db38173">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing one and I don't really care what most ppl on the knot say about it. We don't really need much for a home as well and I don't really see how it is any different than doing a normal registry. Either way you are asking for gifts and/or money. We both love to travel so this makes sense to us. We also did do two small "normal" registries for our guests who would prefer to give us a gift from there. It's your wedding, do what you want. There is no room to judge people. We have had friends who have done honeymoon registries and their guests loved it. If a guest doesn't like it then they can give you cash or no gift at all. I know this response to supporting a honeymoon registry is going to get a lot of backlash from the other gals on here, oh well. I am not changing my mind on my stance so please don't respond with a bunch of posts saying how tacky it is. Thanks!
Posted by Pattyb11[/QUOTE]

I'll respond any way I please. And to you, I give a gigantic eye roll.

Jells2dot0 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:de39e071-f8dd-4449-8864-bcc713932137">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registry? : Lol @ "honeymoon you can afford" That always gets me. The couple doesn't even receive the money til the wedding... and more than likely the trip is already booked and the money would go towards excursions. Also, by this logic, don't register for a 500 dollar dyson vacuum unless you can afford it anyway. No one wants to pay for a vacuum you can't afford. Everyone knows that.
Posted by allychase[/QUOTE]

A lot of girls charge their HMs on the CCs and then carry a balance assuming they will get money at the wedding. So, what people mean about going on a HM they can afford is that people book and pay for their HM without carrying a balance on a CC or going into debt. Chances are, you are not going to go to the store and buy a vacuum and then carry a balance on a CC. Vacuums are not "once in a lifetime" and glamorous. Boards like these and the wedding magazines really goad girls into thinking they need to have this expensive, long, and luxurious HM regardless of cost and it's kind of ridiculous.

dazyabbey · September 2012

You should plan a honeymoon that you can pay for in cash. Same as your wedding. You shouldn't take out a loan or charge anything for either of these things. If you can't afford it start saving and postpone till you can afford it.

Now I tend to disagree with most of the people on this forum. I think they are fine as long as they are done right. Use a company that does not charge money and make sure that if you get 0 gifts you can still afford your honeymoon and you would be fine. Make sure you have a traditional registry and if you don't need much keep it small. People may give you cash or they may buy off the gift registry or they might buy something completely random. If you ask around and some of your family and friends think it is a great idea then go for it.

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:1c75ee50-d6f4-41a0-926e-359d9db38173">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing one and I don't really care what most ppl on the knot say about it. We don't really need much for a home as well and I don't really see how it is any different than doing a normal registry. Either way you are asking for gifts and/or money. We both love to travel so this makes sense to us. We also did do two small "normal" registries for our guests who would prefer to give us a gift from there. <strong>It's your wedding, do what you want.</strong> There is no room to judge people. We have had friends who have done honeymoon registries and their guests loved it. If a guest doesn't like it then they can give you cash or no gift at all. I know this response to supporting a honeymoon registry is going to get a lot of backlash from the other gals on here, oh well. <strong>I am not changing my mind on my stance so please don't respond with a bunch of posts saying how tacky it is.</strong> Thanks!
Posted by Pattyb11[/QUOTE]

Once you invite guests, it's no longer your wedding. But you seem deadset in your ways, so go ahead and be tacky. Everyone needs that one wedding that look back and laugh at.

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:67503271-872b-4bf1-ae79-1853b4c82818">Re:honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:honeymoon registry?: Yeah, I think this goes a bit too far. I may disagree with a HM registry, but I would never look back and laugh at the wedding because of it.
Posted by Sleeper2013[/QUOTE]

You're right....we probably wouldn't be laughing. But we'd be rolling our eyes and talking about how tacky it was.

And let's be honest, when someone says, "I'm doing it my way, it's my wedding, I don't care what others think".....I'm sure the honeymoon registry isn't going to be the only thing that's talked about.

Pattyb11 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:b6cbf25a-ad61-4933-8d38-47e66f3fa48d">Re:honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:honeymoon registry? : You're right....we probably wouldn't be laughing. But we'd be rolling our eyes and talking about how tacky it was. And let's be honest, when someone says, "I'm doing it my way, it's my wedding, I don't care what others think".....I'm sure the honeymoon registry isn't going to be the only thing that's talked about.
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>Wow, this just disgusts me! People are so mean especially when they can say it over the internet and not actually to someones face. I don't think it is tacky, who cares... I disagree with your opinion. I was just trying to leave the OP a positive view on a honeymoon registry and I KNEW some gals would leave some rude and very mean comments. I really do not think anyone who attends my wedding willl be laughing at it or saying anything is tacky. I would not invite anyone who I would think would act that way because honestly if they are then they are a really crappy friend/family member. To be frank, I wouldn't take your advice about most things because you obviously don't have any grace or manners. If you did you wouldn't say such mean things. </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

Lechillura · September 2012

I can't get over the nasty and cattiness of some of the brides on here.

Get with the times ladies. Registries were derived from couples starting off their homes when they were leaving their nests. In todays world, most couples live together for years and have their homes already set.

I just went to a very BEAUTIFUL and EXPENSIVE wedding. Two attorneys - and I am positive they could afford their honeymoon without the help of a registry.

Before I was engaged, I had no idea about honeymoon registries and logged on to see the things she had picked. It was a blast to pick out excursions and dinners for them and be a part of their honeymoon. There wasn't anything tacky! There were plenty of wealthy, educated, artsy and well rounded people at the wedding and many discussed how fun it was and how they wish they had that option when they got married.

I am sure in a year or two, it will become so normal. Don't let anyone rain on your parade if you want to do it. If the guests don't want to participate, no harm, no foul.

And if there are people dicussing how tacky you are at your own wedding, well then they weren't good friends or people to begin with.

Best of luck to you and the honeymoon you want!

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:59e1b8db-fde0-4479-9bcc-f29f43d2324a">Re:honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re:honeymoon registry? : Wow, this just disgusts me! People are so mean especially when they can say it over the internet and not actually to someones face. I don't think it is tacky, who cares... I disagree with your opinion. I was just trying to leave the OP a positive view on a honeymoon registry and I KNEW some gals would leave some rude and very mean comments. I really do not think anyone who attends my wedding willl be laughing at it or saying anything is tacky. I would not invite anyone who I would think would act that way because honestly if they are then they are a really crappy friend/family member. <strong>To be frank, I wouldn't take your advice about most things because you obviously don't have any grace or manners. If you did you wouldn't say such mean things.</strong>
Posted by Pattyb11[/QUOTE]

Ummm, yeah....I never expected you to take my advice. Your attitude (it's MY wedding, I'll do what I want, I don't care what anyone thinks) leaves the impression that you are a self entitled, spoiled brat. If you didn't have that attitude I wouldn't have responded so harshly.

I doubt any of your guests would tell you the idea is tacky to your face. That is why most people that post regularily will tell you that it is tacky so you can avoid this situation.

JoanE2012 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:43df8013-d9ec-4cee-ba62-1096e6bba12e">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't get over the nasty and cattiness of some of the brides on here. Get with the times ladies. Registries were derived from couples starting off their homes when they were leaving their nests. In todays world, most couples live together for years and have their homes already set. I just went to a very BEAUTIFUL and EXPENSIVE wedding. Two attorneys - and I am positive they could afford their honeymoon without the help of a registry. Before I was engaged, I had no idea about honeymoon registries and logged on to see the things she had picked. <strong> It was a blast to pick out excursions and dinners for them and be a part of their honeymoon.</strong> There wasn't anything tacky! There were plenty of wealthy, educated, artsy and well rounded people at the wedding and many discussed how fun it was and how they wish they had that option when they got married. I am sure in a year or two, it will become so normal. Don't let anyone rain on your parade if you want to do it. If the guests don't want to participate, no harm, no foul. And if there are people dicussing how tacky you are at your own wedding, well then they weren't good friends or people to begin with. Best of luck to you and the honeymoom you want!
Posted by Lechillura[/QUOTE]

Guess what? You never bought them their excursions! You paid them whatever the "asking" price was for that excursion. Then the honeymoon registry took a nice fee from your gift (probably around 7% or so) and then gave the couple the money to spend as they pleased. The couple may or may not have spent the money as you thought they would. HM registries are very deceiving. And why in the world would you want to give a company a 7% fee when you could write the couple a check and they could have the whole amount?

Lechillura · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:11c5cbe5-b62b-408d-b778-149dc4d56963">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registry? : <strong><font color="#ff0000">Guess what</font></strong>? You never bought them their excursions! You paid them whatever the "asking" price was for that excursion. Then the honeymoon registry took a nice fee from your gift (probably around 7% or so) and then gave the couple the money to spend as they pleased. The couple may or may not have spent the money as you thought they would. HM registries are very deceiving. And why in the world would you want to give a company a 7% fee when you could write the couple a check and they could have the whole amount?
Posted by JoanE2012[/QUOTE]

Guess What?! I didn't pay 7% anything. Don't over assume things. Many travel agents sponsor honeymoon registries and they 100% free for the couples AND the guests.

Oh and guess what - They DID use the money for the excursions. We saw all the pictures on facebook and when the thank you's came in, we got an adorable photo of them on the excursion. They listed WHAT THEY WANTED - for their gift and used the money for the items they said. People don't typically lie.

Don't always assume -

Emily Post approves - not sure why everyone on here doesn't.

Viczaesar · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:e9926359-bea7-47c7-af6d-4e9e458c3897">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registry? : Guess What?! I didn't pay 7% anything. Don't over assume things. Many travel agents sponsor honeymoon registries and they 100% free for the couples AND the guests. Oh and guess what - They DID use the money for the excursions. We saw all the pictures on facebook and when the thank you's came in, we got an adorable photo of them on the excursion. They listed WHAT THEY WANTED - for their gift and used the money for the items they said. People don't typically lie. Don't always assume - Emily Post approves - not sure why everyone on here doesn't.
Posted by Lechillura[/QUOTE]
Emily Post does not approve - Emily Post is dead. Her tacky descendants have sold out to the wedding industry, and they're the ones who approve.

hoffse · September 2012

OP, from the comments you can surely discover that this is an idea that carries strong opinions one way or the other. Plenty of people say they don't care what others think ("its your day, blah blah blah") but let's call a spade a spade. You wouldn't ask if you didn't care, and that's not only acceptable, it's totally normal.

Personally, I would avoid it because I don't want some contingency of the guestlist talking about how tacky I was.

Most HM registries that guests can access online DO take out a fee. And honestly, it's a lot easier to just take the checks that people give you and run to the bank. Even if you find a registry that doesn't charge a fee, this idea has always seemed tacky to me just in a conceptual sense. I mean, I'm not a prude, but I don't want to pay for your sex fest. Pay for your own sex fest. If you really don't need anything physical, then don't register and most people will get you cash.

As for the attorneys who got married, PP you have no idea what their finances are. I'm an attorney, and you know what FI and I are doing for our honeymoon? Probably going to Charleston because that's what we can afford. Lawyers very often have around $150-$250K of student loan debt EACH. And yet, a lot of us go out and buy the fancy cars, buy the nice houses, spend extravagantly, etc. There is a lot of pressure in the profession to "look the part," because clients want their lawyers to look wealthy - it implies that they are competent and can win. In reality, lawyers default on their loans at a higher rate than any other profession, so I wouldn't assume that lawyer = wealthy. I would bet that they wouldn't have been comfortable doing those excursions, etc. without their guests' help.

Just my $0.02.

samgirl · September 2012

we had an awesome experience withe depositagift.com i'd recommend them in a heartbeat. supercool interface and really easy to use, plus incredible customer service. our friends/fam like registries as a guide and don't normally give cash, which is what we preferred, so this was the perfect compromise and people loved it. lots of knotties and WC gals feel the same, in case you are looking for another perspective: http://local.weddingchannel.com/Wedding-Vendors/Deposit-A-Gift-Wedding-Reviews?ProfileId=363585

futuremrsmurphey · September 2012

Thanks, I know my fiance's cousin did one. And she didn't get any grief. So I am actually REALLY in shock over the responses here! She had a registry for Egypt. The family and friends were really excited to help send her and her husband there. But I guess I am just marrying into a really amazing family that doesn't judge people like people on this site!

to each their own though :)

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:1c75ee50-d6f4-41a0-926e-359d9db38173">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]We are doing one and I don't really care what most ppl on the knot say about it. We don't really need much for a home as well and I don't really see how it is any different than doing a normal registry. Either way you are asking for gifts and/or money. We both love to travel so this makes sense to us. We also did do two small "normal" registries for our guests who would prefer to give us a gift from there. It's your wedding, do what you want. There is no room to judge people. We have had friends who have done honeymoon registries and their guests loved it. If a guest doesn't like it then they can give you cash or no gift at all. I know this response to supporting a honeymoon registry is going to get a lot of backlash from the other gals on here, oh well. I am not changing my mind on my stance so please don't respond with a bunch of posts saying how tacky it is. Thanks!
Posted by Pattyb11[/QUOTE]

futuremrsmurphey · September 2012

Thank you for being so polite, I too am shocked at some of the responses here. It reminds me of highschool! I feel like I am surrounded by juveniles and wish to just not respond because I was taught if I have nothing nice to say just keep my thoughts to myself.

I am now leaning more towards doing the HM registry.

The more I talked to my fiance and my sisters the more I lean towards it. I would hate to have my family friends and guests spend their precious time going out and buying a gift that we will not NEED or WANT and possibly RETURN. what a waste you know?

So I am very ok with our decision.

thanks again <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" />

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:43df8013-d9ec-4cee-ba62-1096e6bba12e">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I can't get over the nasty and cattiness of some of the brides on here. Get with the times ladies. Registries were derived from couples starting off their homes when they were leaving their nests. In todays world, most couples live together for years and have their homes already set. I just went to a very BEAUTIFUL and EXPENSIVE wedding. Two attorneys - and I am positive they could afford their honeymoon without the help of a registry. Before I was engaged, I had no idea about honeymoon registries and logged on to see the things she had picked. It was a blast to pick out excursions and dinners for them and be a part of their honeymoon. There wasn't anything tacky! There were plenty of wealthy, educated, artsy and well rounded people at the wedding and many discussed how fun it was and how they wish they had that option when they got married. I am sure in a year or two, it will become so normal. Don't let anyone rain on your parade if you want to do it. If the guests don't want to participate, no harm, no foul. And if there are people dicussing how tacky you are at your own wedding, well then they weren't good friends or people to begin with. Best of luck to you and the honeymoon you want!
Posted by Lechillura[/QUOTE]

devannon · September 2012

We did a honeymoon registry. We also did Macy's and Target. We didn't think about whether or not it was tacky... I honestly thought of it as just another registry or option for the guests should they choose to give a gift. I do admit that I am still up in the air on a money dance. I feel like we have enough money that a money dance or a money tree might not be the right fit for us (although others have told me I should do it because it is "tradition"?).

As the wedding is less than a month away I would say that by far more guests have gone with the Macy's/Target registries. We have received some gifts on the Honeymoon registry (for anyone who wants to know it is through Sandals. Any gifts of money are put in an account and sent to us in the form of a check when we request a withdrawal. Any excursion purchases are put on an account with the hotel and we book the day with them that we want to go. The cost to the person buying is the same as if we bought the excursion ourselves).

I would also like to say that we paid cash for the honeymoon. So the money is going right back into savings that comes to us. We have also paid cash for the wedding. We can afford our wedding/honeymoon etc without others but still want people to have the option to participate in any form they wish to participate (I have heard that it is rude not to register because guests wont know what to get you... this piece of advice has come in along with all other welcome and unwelcome comments) But alas, questions being posed on the boards are ones in which people desire answers

GoodLuckBear14 · September 2012

Here's something you really don't want to hear. Nobody is going to tell you to your face that a HR is a rude cash registry. Most of them don't know and those who do have better manners than to tell you this. My brother and SIL still get talked about behind their backs regarding their HR from a few years ago. All we're trying to do is stop couples from making total asses of themselves.

devannon · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:5a496391-fdfe-4d8c-9217-62b043c82c1c">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm 48, and you bet I find honeymoon registries tacky. So do the young people in my social set. We don't want to pay for somebody else's vacation slash sexfest, or buy their house for them. There is no NEED for a honeymoon "registry." People know how to write checks and slip them into a Hallmark card. The only socially acceptable way to do this is for your parents/wedding party to say, "They have a registry at Macy's, and I think they're saving up for a honeymoon." Anyone so inclined can then write you a check. This can also be the most expensive way to book a trip. You're better off dealing directly with a resort or cruise line. I've been widowed once, divorced once prior to this wedding and I had the fully stocked house too. I could have found some things to upgrade or replace if I had been so inclined. There's no excuse to ask for other people's money. As for "your friends aren't 'good' friends if they think what they do is tacky" - well, wouldn't you think your friends were tacky if they walked up to you and asked for money or picked their noses in public? It goes both ways.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<p style="margin:0in 0in 0pt;" class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size:7.5pt;color:#1f1f1f;font-family:Arial;">I'm confused... there is "no need" to ask for money but it is socially acceptable to have another relative tell other relatives you are on the hunt for money (tackfully, of course)? And if you could have found some things to "upgrade" or "replace" should you have been so inclined, aren't you asking other people to buy you things as a result of your choice to marry? (Not asking for money but asking for gifts)? Just trying to sort out proper etiquette. Thanks.

Bridal registries didn't come into existance until 1924 so what did brides do before that? I'm sure people thought it was tacky for brides to register for things back then but at some point it became socially acceptable.

There are people on here that suggest they are the type of people or associate with the type of people that talk behind the backs of others because of life choice (a honeymoon registry?!? the nerve!). I don't know why you would want to associate with that type of person. Talking behind the backs of others would just be tacky.

Some people are excited about the registries and others are not. It is a sign of the times. If you are against them... Don't do one. But don't stoop so low as to talk about people behind their backs. That just makes you a tactless gossip. (Perhaps that's why women get the reputation for cat fights! We can't resist talking about people behind their backs because we are so much better then they are and know more.) </span></p>

deanna5776 · September 2012

I'm doing a HM registry and also a small target registry as well...

i have been attacked on here for it already so i am over fighting with people about it....

but i will say i did get one response saying just register for things you dont need and return them for the cash and then use the cash to pay for the honeymoon extras that you did....thats my favorite one so far....

its ok to ask for things you dont want, return them for cash and use the cash how you want....but not ok to ask for a spa credit that i will def. use....

i find it all pretty funny....

if your guests want to use the HM registry...its not mandatory.....

FrankensteinsGirl · September 2012

My cousin did one last year and it was the first many of us had heard of it. No one talked behind her back and infact the people I spoke to about it seemed to tink it was a rather cool idea. She did have two 'traditional' registries at traget and REI as well.

GoodLuckBear14 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:3c8c6171-79b6-4767-b1ec-d924d3ef91c6">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]My cousin did one last year and it was the first many of us had heard of it. No one talked behind her back and infact the people I spoke to about it seemed to tink it was a rather cool idea. She did have two 'traditional' registries at traget and REI as well.
Posted by FrankensteinsGirl[/QUOTE]

Did they understand that they were not buying a damn thing and that the couple just got a check minus a fee? Unless they did, this comment has no relevance.

GoodLuckBear14 · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:9ba49237-2687-45fb-b754-e271266ae435">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm doing a HM registry and also a small target registry as well... i have been attacked on here for it already so i am over fighting with people about it.... but i will say i did get one response saying just register for things you dont need and return them for the cash and then use the cash to pay for the honeymoon extras that you did....thats my favorite one so far.... its ok to ask for things you dont want, return them for cash and use the cash how you want....but not ok to ask for a spa credit that i will def. use.... i find it all pretty funny.... if your guests want to use the HM registry...its not mandatory.....
Posted by deanna5776[/QUOTE]

No. that is not okay either and was bad advise.

FrankensteinsGirl · September 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_honeymoon_honeymoon-registry-46?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:11Discussion:e223c9ff-cbd0-4875-85f5-69a48bba2586Post:5d4f6062-9b92-4e85-9f3a-0acf632b11cc">Re: honeymoon registry?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: honeymoon registry? : Did they understand that they were not buying a damn thing and that the couple just got a check minus a fee? Unless they did, this comment has no relevance.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

The way we understood it was after something was 'purchased' for them they got the amount in their paypal account from the site. They could then use the money on their honeymoon. I see what you mean regarding the money not necessarily being used on the exact thing you picked from the registry.
ETA I asked my cousin if there was a fee (later) and the site she used didn't have one for the basic level. Again, I don't know much about it but I wanted to share my limited experience with a HM registry with her.

catloverd · September 2012

I wouldn't say "Trashy" but I find it unecessary since I think a LOT of people want to buy you things you need, not pay for a vacation....

honeymoon registry?

Re: honeymoon registry?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards