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Who gets invited to bridal shower?

lilkimberlilkimber member
10 Comments
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
My wedding is in six months and my BM's have asked me for a list of ladies attending the wedding to use for the shower invites.  My question is: do I give them the entire list of all of the women invited to my wedding?  For instance, I know that some will not come as they live very far away - and I certainly would not expect them to.  Another example: We have a few girls on the wedding list - who are actually closer to FI than me, but we are friendly.  I guess I just don't want to look greedy.  Help?!  TIA
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Re: Who gets invited to bridal shower?

  • pandasquishypandasquishy member
    1000 Comments
    Invite only the women on your guest list who are local and have a close relationship to you.
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    ditto panda.  Showers are, IMO, small, intimate parties with a guest list of the bride's nearest and dearest friends and family.  I think the 25 is the max. on a guest list~again, IMHO.

    Do not invite every woman invited to the wedding.  I find it rude to invite someone who you know can't attend (OOT for example) to a shower, as I think it's a blatant gift grab.

    But for my DD's shower, her FMIL gave the names of at least 8-10 guests who should receive "courtesy invitations" because, as she said:  they'll send great gifts.  I was mortified.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • shoegal715shoegal715
    500 Comments
    I'm not sure what the etiquette is, but I did get invited to a shower for a woman my fiance works with. I have never met her, and I thought it was extremely weird she invited me. It felt gift-grabby. 

    I didn't go.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    10000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Only the ladies you are closet to. Probably aunts, first cousins, wp ladies of course, mom, fmil, sisters, future sister in laws, family friends, godparent(s), etc. I think you get the picture.
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  • lilkimberlilkimber member
    10 Comments
    ok, thanks everyone!
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  • Dollbaby357Dollbaby357 member
    100 Comments
    I didn't want a bridal shower because all of my family and close friends live out of town and are already incurring an expense to make it to our wedding.  We did not register anywhere because we already have what we need and are well equipped to get what we don't. 

    However a friend of mine here in FL has insisted on hosting a shower for me and inviting associates I have met from time to time through her and to send invites to those invited to my wedding in the event they want to participate in some way, she is even offering options for video casting the shower go figure.  I did not want a shower because I do not want anyone who does and does not know me to feel obligated to buy me a gift.  

    I think your bridal shower should be for those whom you are close to and should include if possible those woman who are near and coming to your wedding.  However, from my friends perspective the shower is a way of celebrating you prior to the wedding even if those people only you know you slightly they can still help celebrate the step in your life.  (I disagree but it's her party in my honor...LOL she can do what she wants). 

    I bought thank you gifts as a courtesy because the majority of those she invited are her friends and not even close to being invited to my wedding.  I have come to know some of them slightly from breakfast, lunches and movie dates we do periodically but that is about it.  I know them slightly through her (but I have only lived here just over a year so it's expected for me not to know very many people here).  Thankfully, my aunt who lives a few hours away and cousins will be in attendance because then I can have someone who truly knows me.  Imagine playing a game what do you know about the bride and groom (LMAO).

    Good Luck

    ps at the end of the day it is all about celebrating you not about what others think they come to have fun or they don't but you make sure you enjoy the moment with whoever you can, however you can.

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