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Vows: Memorize or cheat sheet?

kelliciouskellicious
in Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
My vows are not terribly long.  But I don't want to mess them up!!!
Can you ladies tell me if you are memorizing them or writing them down and reading from the paper. 
Thanks!!
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Re: Vows: Memorize or cheat sheet?

  • CourtneyBCCourtneyBC
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Neither; the pastor is letting us repeat him through the whole thing. Your nerves will probably be wild the day of, plus your emotions could totally make you forget what you had to say. I think you should definitely make sure you're not forced to memorize. At the very least, have your pastor or MOH have a cheat sheet on hand in case you forget.
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  • kedookedoo
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm going to have a cheat sheet to use. I think I'll have the officiant (FI's uncle) hold my paper and he'll just give it to me when it's time.
    No sense in adding ANOTHER stress to the wedding planning by memorizing the vows!
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  • RevJudithRevJudith
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hello!  Congratulations on your up coming wedding.  As an officiant I offer different options regarding the vows.  Couples may choose to repeat them after me, or I can have them prepared on paper and hand them to them at that particular moment so they can read them to each other.  Personally, I think trying to memorize them is putting a lot of pressure on yourself and may not work well.  It's a very emotional time and sometimes those emotions, being in front of your friends and family etc. may just be too much.  However if you choose to do that I would recommend that your officiant has a written copy or the words to que you if needed.  Just remember, this is the MOST important part of your ceremony so it's important to do what ever feels best and is comfortable for both of you.  Please feel free to contact me if you'd like to ask any questions.  I'm always available.

    Best Wishes! 

    Rev. Judith
    Unforgettablevows.com

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  • miah_23_ncbmiah_23_ncb member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i definitley will be repeating after the pastor. But if u are set onmemorizing them try to memorize them but have ur cheat sheet close by.
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  • ecuchikaecuchika member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My cuz wrote down her vows on a special cardstock paper very neatly.  Her officiant had them and handed them to her at the moment she needed them.  After the wedding she framed her vows and used it as artwork in her home.  Its not a test so I wouldn't say its a cheat sheet. :)
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  • KehringKehring
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are having cheat sheets. I don't want to sound like a robot trying to remember my lines. The maid of honor and best man are holding them for us. We too are printing them out on pretty paper.
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  • JesskaLynnLoveJesskaLynnLove member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Don't you dare try to go by memory alone! Write your vows on index cards and slip them into your bouquet. Learn them, and try to go by memory, but have your cards handy just in case. It's better to over-prepare and not need them than to under-prepare and forget what you wanted to say.
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  • benmel31benmel31 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I plan on having a cheat sheet.  We are writing our own vows.  I don't think anyone will mind if you look at them.

    My FSIL carries her husband's cheat sheet of his vows in her wallet.  They are really special to her.  
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  • wenawinterwenawinter member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I want a cheat sheet, but my FI is insisting we memorize them! I am already freaking out about it, I know I will forget them once I am standing up there.  I am still trying to convince him.
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  • mzkyndmzkynd
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    no way memorization would work for me, my memory is the worst!  i had thought about doing a reading , but think i will just repeat the officiant. i like the idea of printing them out on prettty paper and using as artwork later though. :)
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  • maisery22maisery22 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah, know what your mind is capable of during stressful situation, if you can't remember what you're gonna say, it's totally acceptable to have a cheat sheet. 
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  • maisery22maisery22 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    situations, excuse me
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  • jsickreamjsickream
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think my mind would go blank with everything else going through my head. I'm having a cheatsheet for sure!
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  • Xan921Xan921
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're writing our own vows and plan on using 'cheat sheets'.  My MOH will hold onto mine (the BM's dresses all have pockets so it's easy) and the Bestman will hold onto my fiance's until it is time. 
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  • tiny27tiny27 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am planning on writing my vows on an index card and having my mom hold it. Not sure about FI. 
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  • lcsa99lcsa99 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_vows_vows-memorize-cheat-sheet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:24Discussion:d3bb37bb-0d22-4e79-a53e-9a2639b54865Post:b099367c-8b03-4ea2-94c5-6d0db9aa3145">Re: Vows: Memorize or cheat sheet?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Don't you dare try to go by memory alone! Write your vows on index cards and slip them into your bouquet. Learn them, and try to go by memory, but have your cards handy just in case. It's better to over-prepare and not need them than to under-prepare and forget what you wanted to say.
    Posted by JesskaLynnLove[/QUOTE]

    This is exactly what I plan to do. Our wedding party is made up entirely of children (ages 12-3) so I don't really want to depend on them for my cheat sheet, I don't want my officiant (my sister) hold them because I already have her doing so much for us and having anyone in the crowd hold them would probably just look weird so this works and I can be a little more subtle about using it.

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  • Mkelley1Mkelley1
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_vows_vows-memorize-cheat-sheet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:24Discussion:d3bb37bb-0d22-4e79-a53e-9a2639b54865Post:3340c829-a8fe-4ef8-8883-ec13f6d45aa2">Re: Vows: Memorize or cheat sheet?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My cuz wrote down her vows on a special cardstock paper very neatly.  Her officiant had them and handed them to her at the moment she needed them.  After the wedding she framed her vows and used it as artwork in her home.  Its not a test so I wouldn't say its a cheat sheet. :)
    Posted by ecuchika[/QUOTE]

    love that idea of using the sheet as art! The bridesmaids dresses have pockets so my MOH will be able to hold onto tissues and my cheat card.
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