AFTER wedding party?

katheriner89 · November 2010

O.k. I wasn't sure which board to post this to. So it's going on this one.

So I've had this thought in my head since we got engaged...
Should we have a day after brunch?
Just for the family & WP?

ALL of my family & bridesmaids live in SC, but my FI's family & groomsmen live in upstate NY. I would love to have all of us together one last time before they head home after the wedding. Am I crazy or is this a good idea. If I do have a brunch, It will be at our house so we can all just hangout and talk about the wedding & stuff. I'd be making brunch. (wayy cheaper than going to IHOP!) haha.

please be honest.

Muffin'sMom · November 2010

We had one for my daughter. I made all the food ahead of time with help from a couple of FABULOUS friends. We did friut salads, bought frozen coffee cakes, got bagels and spreads, and got a honey baked ham. I also made a couple of those make ahead egg brunch casseroles. We had coffee, tea, milf, juice and champagne left over from the wedding. We also had left over wedding cake. People started arriving around 10 and I finally started throwing people out at 7.Maybe 40 people came over the course of the day...about 30 were there ALL day! My daughter and her new husband showed up at around noon and stayed til 3 when they had to leave for the airport. It was a wonderful day!

palmettogirl924 · November 2010

You said you'd be making all the food, so it's up to you if you want to prepare for that on the night of your wedding. They are a good thing to do, and esp. nice for the OOT's. If it's going to make more stress in your life than I would skip it. But there is nothing wrong with doing a brunch- it's a nice gesture.

Kristin789 · November 2010

No.
When you and your new DH leave the reception, you begin your new life together as a married couple and you begin your HM.
You don't pop up again the next morning for everyone to see.

And no one I've ever known could MAKE an entire breakfast buffet the morning after. If you are like me and everyone in my circle, you will be so very exhausted from all of the wedding prep, the RD, the wedding ceremony, the recep, and meeting all these new people and dealing with all the on-site hassles, it will take about two days for you to even be feeling like YOU want to go eat breakfast, much less cook up a whole breakfast for a bunch of people... Before you offer this, you should talk to people who have already gotten married and see if they feel so very RachaelRaychipper the morning after the wedding.

katheriner89 · November 2010

btw, the honeymoon isn't until Oct. 2011.

I was thinking of having these little packs for all of friends with rolaids & some advil. (i know they will have a hangover!)

I just want us to be able to spend time together, with his friends & family. I know we will be so rushed the day of the wedding, that we won't be able to speak to them alot. since they are driving 12 plus hours from NY, i want to be able to talk atleast a little.

I ran it by my FI last night, he liked the idea, just didn't like the part when i told him he'd be cooking pancakes. ha. so i'll have to keep looking for ideas.

trix1223 · November 2010

My brother had a post wedding brunch after he was married. My DD and SIL had a post wedding brunch after their wedding. Kristin's advice is mostly terribly dated. But I will agree with her on one point: don't underestimate how very tired you'll be on the day after your wedding.

taniamarie45 · November 2010

Sick and tired of people that think they are entitled to yet another gathering in their honor...What?!? An Engagement Party, Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party and Wedding not enough party for you? Must you have another party to get more attention? I dont get this. This is a bratty thing, the last thing I would want to do after a wedding is go to yet another wedding related party...GEEZ!

redheadtmk · November 2010

I know lots of people who have had a morning after brunch for thier OOT guests and family. It has nothing to do with wanting more attention. At the wedding you have to pay attention to every guest. When you have OOT guests you havent seen in awhile, a morning after brunch is a nice way to spend some extra time with the people you dont see often. Its a nice way to thank them for taking the time and spending the money to come to your wedding. It is generally not about the couple in the way a bridal shower or bachelorette/bachelor party is. It is about the entire family getting a chance to catch up and get to know the bride or groom. (whichever is not the OOT guests relative)
And i agree about the muffins/donuts/fruit with juice and coffee idea.

AdeleDazeem · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_after-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:6c654198-e666-4fa0-af64-73b732c32cf1Post:8b961814-4e85-485e-bc51-f91ea41cd45c">Re: AFTER wedding party?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sick and tired of people that think they are entitled to yet another gathering in their honor...What?!? An Engagement Party, Bridal Shower, Bachelorette Party and Wedding not enough party for you? Must you have another party to get more attention? I dont get this. This is a bratty thing, the last thing I would want to do after a wedding is go to yet another wedding related party...GEEZ!
Posted by taniamarie45[/QUOTE]

Huh. That is an interesting spin on the day after brunch.

What if you didn't have an engagement party or a bachelorette party? Then is it okay to you?? Does everyone have a party quota?

Let's be honest, the wedding isn't a time for the bride and groom to catch up with anyone. The couple sees most guests for a few minutes out of the whole day before being pulled somewhere else.

The day after brunch (it's not mandatory and no gift is needed, tania - deep breath) offers a way for people to see the couple in a more relaxed setting. You usually get a chance to have a real conversation with them and trade funny stories about the day before. It's nice for that reason. Oh, and I like breakfast :)

taniamarie45 · November 2010

Well OP said to talk about the wedding and stuff. Sounds like ME ME ME!!!

nroach78 · November 2010

We were discussing having a morning after brunch because most of our family members were travelling across the country to see us. We specifically planned our wedding for a friday night so we could spend all day Saturday with our families and friends. It's all optional, if people want to hang out with us of course. We were going to invite OOT guests to brunch and then go to bar to watch the football game or something along those lines. No pressure stuff, just time to sit back, visit, and have a beer with my family and friends. I dont think it's a problem at all.

lisalou402 · November 2010

If we were getting married near someone's home, we would definitely do a day after brunch. Especially if you are out of town, it's a really nice thing to do.

We priced it at a restaurant, but it was too expensive. Getting married in NYC will be awesome, but has a disadvantage!

It's very common in our group.

adrop · November 2010

My sister had one and my fiance's brother also had one. Well, more of a lunch than a breakfast. At my sister's by Dad put a spit roast on the bbq and my Mum along with the other Mum and some friends (and myself) put together the rest of the food. Everyone was willing to help.

We are also planning on doing this, mainly for the 2 reasons that have already been mentioned. It's a much more relaxing time to catch up with our guests and a lot of our guests live overseas (as we do). What better chance to spend time with everyone!? My sister and her husband also used this time to open their presents (but we're having a wishing well).

It's pretty common in New Zealand. And no bridal couple sees it as an opportunity to be the centre of attention for longer. And guests love the chance to see everyone again! It's not at all mandatory to go either. Go for it!

anwallette · November 2010

My mom LOVES to cook and any excuse for her to cook is a great one. Her first words after getting excited about her daughter getting engaged and going dress-shopping was that she and my stepdad WERE hosting the brunch and the menu was made before there was a finalized reception menu!

I'm excited - she is a fantastic cook.

bluedaisy2001 · November 2010

Half of our guests are flying across the country for our wedding so the least we can is have them over Sunday morning for brunch and a quick visit before they have to head home!

Daddys_Gurl · November 2010

We had a brunch for my brother's wedding and everyone loved it. The MOTB hosted it since they got married in the bride's home town and wanted to have it at a house. It was great to see them for real since the whole weekend went so quickly. We actually got to talk and the bride was finally relaxed.

I also liked it since it was a reunion for our family. He lives in Texas but we're from South Florida and the wedding was in North Florida. So we were able to spend time together before they left for their honeymoon and we hit the road. Plus they had a June wedding and moved directly to Texas after the honeymoon so we didn't see them again till Christmas.

I do think you should try to find reliable people (moms, aunts, cousins, grandparents even) to help with the food. You don't want that responsibility after the full weekend you'll have and you don't want to make your hungry, hungover guest wait, especially if they need to travel that same day. Just get pre-made food, keep it simple, and have people who can come set up. Oh and clean as you go.

nannewmur · November 2010

I vote yes for the brunch.

You mentioned FI's family are from another state and this would be a great opportunity for the families to mingle. As for the stress, it all depends on what you want to serve, how organized you are and if you are willing to deligate these task out. I helped with my niece's brunch and it went great. You may have an aunt/uncle, mother of bridesmaid, etc who may volunteer to oversee this event.

Sometimes some brides and grooms forget that guests have spent quite a bit of time and money to attend their wedding. It is a very nice gesture for a morning after breakfast/brunch or causal get together be offered. Good luck!

mrstfuture · November 2010

We're doing a next day brunch and it just so happens it is complimentary at our hotel block! I wouldn't pay for this otherwise as we are paying for the wedding, rehearsal dinner that weekend. Really can't afford for 150 people to eat 3x that weekend.

nicolepmarinelli · November 2010

We had a sort-of one. It was an open invitation to anyone who wanted to come over to my parent's house for breakfast. Several people were already staying there anyway so my mom was going to put something together. I think she went to GFS and bought like 3 trays of breakfast casserole, two sausage burrito things and one dessert type one. It was a big hit and it wasn't really "wedding related" or about "us." It was just an informal gathering of family!

dieselsmomma · November 2010

Ok, we did a gift opening that doubled as a brunch.

The first thing I have to say is that I was EXHAUSTED. It was so much work to put together the day after the wedding. People stayed all day and by the end of it I was just pooped.

BUT! I said yes because it was tons of fun and I did really enjoy seeing everyone

If you can go somewhere (Sunday brunches are everywhere) or have someone host it Ithat would be great!

[Deleted User] · November 2010

We're getting married at a nearby resort and so we are encouraging people to come up for both the Friday and Saturday, and to join us the evening before the wedding. That way we still have a chance to see everyone, and we can have the morning after to ourselves.

Linz10882 · November 2010

I'm not opposed to the idea, but from my own experience, I was EXHAUSTED the morning/day after my wedding. My voice was also shot from talking the entire night before. I am so glad we didn't have to go mingle with people the next morning, because both of us were wiped out! We also had tons of out of town guests, and they mainly did their own thing the day after and were respectful of our need for a little bit of down time. No regrets!

Good luck either way!

kristipaul · November 2010

Never underestimate those around you who WANT to help! Aunts, friends, friends moms...mention it to them and see if they would help out. A pot-luck style breakfast/lunch would be sure to have something everyone would like- and very little for you to do!

tyme2travl · November 2010

We had a BBQ the day after our wedding at our home. My husband had made his Mango BBQ sauce on that Thursdday and he cooked the ribs on Sunday. We had the best time with family and friends. We ordered pulled BBQ turkey and had it delivered, and there was a fruit tray, veggie tray and cheese/cracker tray. I could not imagine having guests from all over the country and not spending time with them during the holiday weekend. We had a blast, my maid and matron of honor continued to help with the set-up. My mom did the traditional gesture of passing the presents for us to opened and we had a friend who was a photographer take pictures. The sharing of stories was fantasic and the gather was very memorable to this day. Yes, I was exhausted on this day vs the wedding day, when all said and done. However, we did not leave for our honeymoon until Wednesday, so that we could get some rest before leaving.

phut_action · November 2010

ABSOLUTELY! I'm all for the day after brunch/breakfast, its gives you a chance to talk a little more because we've all heard how hectic the day of will be. Plus it can be one more cheap little "thanks"

Easiest brunch ever: breakfast casserole (where you mix eggs, potatoes, sausage/ham, onion, or whatever you want in a casserole dish and bake it), maybe some fresh fruit and put out a loaf of bread with a toaster, leftover cake and desserts and you're DONE. My good friend's mom made maybe 4 big casseroles in foil containers with the other items mentioned to feed a little more than 20 people and they had leftovers. fairly easy clean up too.

I particularly like the leftover cake bit. I forgot to grab a slice at her wedding so it was nice it was there the next morning.

mace1313 · November 2010

I just went to a wedding that had a brunch the day after and it was so nice! It was nice as a guest to see the bride and groom and get to visit with them again as well as get to visit with some of our friends who were also guests and talk about the reception and the things that happened the night before. I say if you want to do it and think you will be up to doing it the next day then go for it!

lanejane · November 2010

I totally understand your reasoning for doing this. Weddings/ receptions are whirlwinds and you might find scant time to talk to OOT family/friends.

On the other hand, anything I would do the next day would be very informal. After the wedding I'm sure most people including the couple will be tired and it sounds like one more expense. I'd rather spend my limited budget on other things. Also at what time do the parties stop?

I may see some people the next day but only if they drop in to say goodbye before they head out. If you do have breakfast, make it as easy as possible and buy prepared foods so you don't stress. Good luck!

vhalbeck · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_after-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:6c654198-e666-4fa0-af64-73b732c32cf1Post:3703261f-f9b1-4b24-bf0e-6a1c948af42e">Re: AFTER wedding party?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: AFTER wedding party? : Huh. That is an interesting spin on the day after brunch. What if you didn't have an engagement party or a bachelorette party? Then is it okay to you?? Does everyone have a party quota? Let's be honest, the wedding isn't a time for the bride and groom to catch up with anyone. The couple sees most guests for a few minutes out of the whole day before being pulled somewhere else. The day after brunch (it's not mandatory and no gift is needed, tania - deep breath) offers a way for people to see the couple in a more relaxed setting. You usually get a chance to have a real conversation with them and trade funny stories about the day before. It's nice for that reason. Oh, and I like breakfast :)
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

Yes I definitely have to agree. A brunch isn't about attention on yourself. It's about thanking your guests for coming to the wedding. I think it's a great gesture. Especially for out of town guests- one less thing for them to pay for!

rombacja · November 2010

Agree with pp - you can do egg caserole in advance and just leave it in your fridge. or bagels and cream cheese and fruit. There are plenty of easy ways to serve breakfast for the masses that won't cost you a million dollars. I think it's a wonderful thing to offer to OOT guests. I don't know how we're going to finagle it yet since ALL of our guests are from OOT, but we'll figure something out I'm sure!

hmwest08 · December 2010

I like this idea, but agree that maybe making breakfast yourself would be a lot of work. Perhaps have fruit and danishes, bages and toast etc. or a breakfast casserole to serve, that way you just have to heat/put out food instead of cooking. A big batch of scrambled eggs might be easy enough, and maybe a reheated baked ham or fried up ham steak if you have a big electric skillet for big portions wouldn't be too difficult. Or see if your mom or FMIL would be willing to cook or host the brunch, leaving you free to enjoy your wedding night and not stress. Depends on how many people you are cooking for!

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