How long do I have to send Thank You's out?

Andrealsuarez · June 2012

So I just got married on June 16th, but I wanted to know just how long do I have to send out the Thank you cards?

And should I include the picture or no picture? My photographer said she would not have the CD with our pic for 2 months......is that normal or ok to wait like 2 months after the wedding to send everyone their TY cards?

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-long-do-i-have-to-send-thank-yous-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a93848a-d885-44b8-bed4-e4211fbc4c8dPost:39b1f8d3-0de5-42ce-81e6-5e9c1de74bcb">How long do I have to send Thank You's out?</a>:
[QUOTE]So I just got married on June 16th, but I wanted to know just how long do I have to send out the Thank you cards? And should I include the picture or no picture? My photographer said she would not have the CD with our pic for 2 months......is that normal or ok to wait like 2 months after the wedding to send everyone their TY cards?
Posted by Andrealsuarez[/QUOTE]

Nope, it's not okay to wait 2 months so that you can include a picture. Guests need to be thanked promptly.

adamar15 · June 2012

A picture is not necessary. Get the thank you's out as soon as possible. I think 2 months is the max that you should wait to send them out.

mcskatcat · June 2012

If it's going to be 2 months before you get the picture, then it will be closer to three by the time you order cards and send them out, so I would not wait for that. I was able to do photo cards but had them out roughly a month after the wedding.

In short, the sooner you get them out, the better. It's also better because the longer time goes on, the more likely you are to forget about a gift or who sent it in case there's any confusion. My SIL had forgotten to send a TY to my parents, so about six months later I asked her if she had received the GC and she honestly couldn't remember if she had received the thing in the mail or if she had sent out a TY, so the sooner you do those things the less likely you are to forget something.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

You can use a wedding picture for your holiday cards if you send them out.

rlavach · June 2012

Around here, it seems like people send TY under 2 months. IRL, I've never received a wedding TY in under 6mo. I get that proper etiquette is you send it ASAP, but people don't expect wedding TY that fast. I just sent mine out (w/pic) & it's been a little over 2mo since my wedding.

Why don't you ask your photographer to send you early 1 good photo that you can use for your TY card. We held up a sign that said 'thank you' on it, so I asked him to get us that photo by the 1 month mark so I could get the cards printed. He did & now they're all done. I won't get the rest of my photos for another few weeks. If you really want to use a photo, perhaps your photographer will be willing to get you one picture early. If not & a photo isn't important to you, then just get some printed up and send them out now.

rlavach · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-long-do-i-have-to-send-thank-yous-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a93848a-d885-44b8-bed4-e4211fbc4c8dPost:473be11f-ce72-44d4-854d-0a6d3492ff5f">Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out?</a>:
[QUOTE]If it's going to be 2 months before you get the picture, then it will be closer to three by the time you order cards and send them out, so I would not wait for that. I was able to do photo cards but had them out roughly a month after the wedding. In short, the sooner you get them out, the better. It's also better because the longer time goes on, the more likely you are to forget about a gift or who sent it in case there's any confusion. My SIL had forgotten to send a TY to my parents, so about six months later I asked her if she had received the GC and she honestly couldn't remember if she had received the thing in the mail or if she had sent out a TY, so the sooner you do those things the less likely you are to forget something.
Posted by mcskatcat[/QUOTE]
Not to be rude, but that is just poor recordkeeping on your sister's part. Ideally, you should keep a list of what gift each guest gave that way you can thank them for that specific gift & then a column to check if you sent the TY or not. (No, not to share the list with your mom so she can gift accordingly) Of course, I'm overly organized, so I get that's not everyone's style.

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

I see where you're coming from Rach, but I do expect a TY before the 6 month mark. At 2 months, I begin to wonder. I mean, it didn't take me 6 months to pick out a gift so why would it take you (general) 6 months to write a note of 3-4 sentences? My mom made TY writing a priority in our house. As a matter of fact, presents weren't allowed to come out of their packaging until TYs had been written.

rlavach · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-long-do-i-have-to-send-thank-yous-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a93848a-d885-44b8-bed4-e4211fbc4c8dPost:30e19a1e-15ae-4839-94b3-cc243d4578c2">Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out?</a>:
[QUOTE]I see where you're coming from Rach, but I do expect a TY before the 6 month mark. At 2 months, I begin to wonder. I mean, it didn't take me 6 months to pick out a gift so why would it take you (general) 6 months to write a note of 3-4 sentences? My mom made TY writing a priority in our house. As a matter of fact, presents weren't allowed to come out of their packaging until TYs had been written.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]
Who's Rach? <div>
</div><div>I expect a TY before 6mo also, which is why I sent mine at 2mo, but I don't get bent out of shape if I don't get one. I just don't personally feel the need to get them out so fast that they're not the way that I want them. That said, if doing it with a picture would've taken 6 months, then I would've just skipped the picture.</div>

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

Ha! I meant you but that's not what my fingers typed. This is why I *must* have coffee every morning. =-)

Habs2Hart · June 2012

I also had a sign I'd made for pictures, and TY cards came with my package. I got them out before the two month mark.

I think you could ask your photographer to send you a couple good pictures early so you can use them for cards. I am sure they would oblige.

achiduck · June 2012

Send them as soon as you can. Either contact your photographer and explain the situation and ask for 2-3 good pictures to choose from or send the notes now and send a wedding photo at Christmas.

pokepoke27 · June 2012

The sooner the better, IMO. I waited like two weeks (gasp!) before sending mine out and even that was stressing me out a little.

mcskatcat · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-long-do-i-have-to-send-thank-yous-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a93848a-d885-44b8-bed4-e4211fbc4c8dPost:fb1291ec-a80c-498c-9fcb-2100bfc3375e">Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out? : Not to be rude, but that is just poor recordkeeping on your sister's part. Ideally, you should keep a list of what gift each guest gave that way you can thank them for that specific gift & then a column to check if you sent the TY or not. (No, not to share the list with your mom so she can gift accordingly) Of course, I'm overly organized, so I get that's not everyone's style.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

<div>It's H's sister, and I agree. That's why I told OP it's easier to keep track and remember things if you do it earlier. </div>

pkontk · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-long-do-i-have-to-send-thank-yous-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a93848a-d885-44b8-bed4-e4211fbc4c8dPost:fb1291ec-a80c-498c-9fcb-2100bfc3375e">Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out? : Not to be rude, but that is just poor recordkeeping on your sister's part. Ideally, you should keep a list of what gift each guest gave that way you can thank them for that specific gift & then a column to check if you sent the TY or not. (No, not to share the list with your mom so she can gift accordingly) Of course, I'm overly organized, so I get that's not everyone's style.
Posted by rlavach[/QUOTE]

If you're overly organized, then so am I. I have google spreadsheets for everything, so I can input shower gifts and mark off when I send thank yous. Ditto for the wedding. Its too easy to lose track of who gave what or whether you've sent a note otherwise.

(Also, FI opened the gifts after our e-party while I was at work and threw out the cards. It took some garbage diving and detective work to figure out what was from whom so they could be properly thanked. Lesson learned!)

angryangry · June 2012

Probably after about 2 months is the period of time when I start to think that the person is either a really slow thank you note writer or is never going to send them. I got mine out about 3 weeks after the wedding, but we took a pretty short honeymoon (1 week).

angryangry · June 2012

Oh, but to answer the specific question in your title, I'm pretty sure Emily Post says (as soon as possible, but) 3 months is the absolute maximum.

rlavach · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-long-do-i-have-to-send-thank-yous-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8a93848a-d885-44b8-bed4-e4211fbc4c8dPost:c2ca7030-bd00-4aaa-99a3-e973316a3e45">Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out? : If you're overly organized, then so am I. I have google spreadsheets for everything, so I can input shower gifts and mark off when I send thank yous. Ditto for the wedding. Its too easy to lose track of who gave what or whether you've sent a note otherwise. (Also, <strong>FI opened the gifts after our e-party while I was at work and threw out the cards. </strong> It took some garbage diving and detective work to figure out what was from whom so they could be properly thanked. Lesson learned!)
Posted by pkontk[/QUOTE]
Whoa! I probably would've flipped out if my DH did that. Although, I can kinda understand why a guy wouldn't find the card important.

pkontk · June 2012

He'd never had to write thank you notes growing up, whereas I have it in my blood. I was pretty close to flipping out. He knows better now!

aloisk57 · June 2012

Honestly, I never thought I'd be bothered when I didn't get a thank-you right away...until now. Our friend got married in MARCH and I just got her thank you this week. So freaking rude. She posts all these pictures of her and her H at parties and stuff...like, why didn't you stay home one night and write your thank yous??? Shows what's important to her!

Send them immediately - don't wait for the pictures.

Coghoot12 · June 2012

Maybe this is an UO but I don't understand the thank you notes with pictures.

I guess for close family its a nice gesture but I don't know what I would do with a wallet sized picture of another couple at their wedding. I remember getting one from a cousins wedding and I didn't know what to do with the pic but I felt bad throwing it out. I'm pretty sure if we sent pics to everyone we received a gift from most would go in the trash. And I try to avoid being trash!

cookie0803 · June 2012

I've heard 2 weeks for gifts received before the wedding, 2 months for gifts received during and after. Yesterday, a family friend mentioned she had heard a year is the deadline, and her daughter is following that advice. I nearly passed out!

MeganMcKenna · June 2012

Is there a chance that someone in your family captured a good shot of you and your husband? That might be a good alternative to a professional photo. If not, I think standard thank-yous sans photo are perfect.

How long do I have to send Thank You's out?

Re: How long do I have to send Thank You's out?

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