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Wedding Etiquette Forum
yellowdaisies84
member
Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!
Hi ladies, I thought I'd share a tip with you that I have just learned first-hand. It is very standard to use the phrase "Invitation to follow" on Save-the-dates and I'm sure that most of you did use that phrase or are planning to use that phrase.
When I made my save-the-dates I played around a lot with the formatting and the wording. At the bottom of the save-the-date I deleted the phrase "invitation to follow" and instead put the address for our wedding website. I felt that it was obvious that an invitation was to follow so that phrase wasn't necessary and I loved how my save-the-date looked.
To me, it was obvious that this was a save-the-date. It was a one-sided card with the this wording:
SAVE THE DATE
WE'RE GETTING MARRIED
SEPTEMBER 21, 2013
JANE SMITH
AND JOHN JONES
Smithville, Ontario
smithjones.ourwedding.com
(No, that's not our real info other than the wedding date!) 
First, my future step-sister in law RSVP'd on facebook. I could tell that she didn't know what an STD was, and she was unsure how to go about RSVPing. Then, a good friend of mine sent me a postcard in the mail to accept my invitation. Then, my Grandma sent me a card in the mail to thank me for inviting her and let me know she would be attending. When I called her on the phone she told me that my Aunt wanted to send her own card to accept soon. I told my Grandma (and the others, too) that our proper invitations would be coming this summer and she was really surprised. She said "Oh honey, so what did you send me then?" I explained it was a save-the-date and I explained that the invitation would have a reply card and she could select her meal, and it would have a map and tell her exactly where the venue is located- she didn't expect that and she thought that what she had received was her invitation!
So, not a big deal but I do wish I'd kept the phrase "Invitation to follow" on the STD and I wanted to pass that along to other brides- although I'm sure you were going to anyway it was my mistake to think that wasn't important. To me it was obviously a save-the-date and I even wrote Save the date! on the back of the envelopes but I learned that not everyone is super familiar with the concept of save-the-dates or at least without that phrase it leaves then unsure of how to proceed. My website also said on the homepage that save-the-dates were out and invitations would follow this summer but, understandably, not everyone reads the website or at least not word-for-word.
"It's always better when we're together."
-Jack Johnson
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs!
[QUOTE]I think it is really just personal preference. I kept the phrase 'invitation to follow' on mine Save-the-Dates, but I wish that I had put my wedding website there instead.
Posted by Tlanute[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I wish I put both! LOL :)
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[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Tip: use "Invitation to Follow" on STDs! : I wish I put both! LOL :)
Posted by yellowdaisies84[/QUOTE]
<div>I put both as well ; ) </div>
Perhaps they are not common in your circle, but I don't think it is necessary to add "Invitation to Follow" on a STD.
[QUOTE]I did both. The STD "came" with the line "Formal invitation to follow" and I added our website under that. Haven't sent them out yet so idk how they will be received, but it made sense to me and FI
Posted by JennaMichelle88[/QUOTE]
<div>This is exactly what I did. Everyone was well aware of what they were receiving. </div>
We put the line on ours, I don't know whether or not it made a difference but the only person who was admittedly confused was my step-brother and I wasn't super surprised by it. He didn't try to RSVP, but he did awkwardly refer to it as my "pre-invitation."
[QUOTE]This is so weird. This thread is literally the first time I've ever even heard of putting this on an STD. Who knew...
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
<div>I've never gotten an STD that didn't say this. I guess it depends on your circle.</div>
[QUOTE]We only sent STDs to the people our age. Several of my mom's friends independently told her they thought STDs were rude and AWish because it's a demand rather than a request and it brings your wedding to their attention way earlier than necessary. On the other hand, I have friends who think they are B-listed if they don't get an STD. It's sort of absurd. So we ordered like 25, sent them to people who would have gotten offended by not receiving one, and then called it a day. We didn't send them to our wedding party, and one of the groomsman told me he "never got our STD." I said, "that's because we didn't send you one." He was really taken aback. Then I said, "do you know when our wedding is?" He said yes. So I was like, then why did you need one? Apparently he hadn't thought of that... The invitation to follow thing is optional. I prefer to leave that off because it just sort of reinforces how redundant STDs are in my opinion.
Posted by hoffse[/QUOTE]
Personally I always think it's fun to get them even if I know the date, etc. because I keep them on my fridge like I do Christmas cards and thank you notes and the like. My brother has kept every STD he's ever received, they're on his fridge. It's really sweet.
H's cousin did them for her wedding in October which I did think was a little silly in that case because they only had a four month engagement, so invitations came fairly quickly after STDs.
I decided to do them largely because we had so many OOT guests; if people wanted to travel I wanted to give them advance notice.
[QUOTE]I made our save the dates and I put both "Formal invitation to follow" and our wedding website. I read somewhere that that was what you should put on there. Of course I don't remember where I read that now, but it would have been either my wedding planner book or TK. FI and I have also received many STD's in our nine years together. And when I was still at home with my parents (so younger than 19), they received them too. Some with the "invite to follow" some without. We haven't had a single person try to RSVP after our's went out and some of FI's relatives are not from the US and not used to the customs here. I could see people being confused if they had never seen a STD before, but it seems pretty obvious that is it not a formal invitation. <strong>Regardless I always find it nice to hear from people, even if it is to preemptively RSVP</strong>! :-)
Posted by GardenMaven[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Aww well that's nice and very true. :)
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