Ceremony and reception on two days?

tinkerbell_1985 · December 2009

Hi, I just recently got engaged, and my future husband and I want to have our ceremony first (immediate family only), go on our honeymoon immediately afterward, and then once we come home, have a big reception for friends and family to celebrate with us. Any thoughts or ideas?

liz745 · December 2009

Lots of people do that. It should be fine as long as the ceremony is only immediate family people shouldnt mind

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

Why? Your guests aren't going to be as interested in coming to the reception if they aren't invited to the ceremony, and if you have it after the honeymoon, it's sort of pointless.

redheadfsu · December 2009

Usually people do this when they are having a destination wedding. If the ceremony & reception is in the same town, I really don't understand the gap with the honeymoon in the middle & 2 tiers of guests.

This could come off as, I'm not good enough to be at the ceremony but they want me to buy them a gift (not saying this is your reason, but guests could think this).

sudslover · December 2009

My sister did this and it was lovely! The reception was a lot of fun with games for the children and a more relaxed atmosphere for everyone. We had a blast!

pooh8402 · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ceremony-reception-two-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:6832d2b2-bd8e-4340-b6cb-42bea7a00f51Post:ad359e14-7cb3-4461-ac1f-ce6e6a1c30ce">Re: Ceremony and reception on two days?</a>:
[QUOTE]Why? Your guests aren't going to be as interested in coming to the reception if they aren't invited to the ceremony, and if you have it after the honeymoon, it's sort of pointless.
Posted by MyNameIsNot[/QUOTE]
ha, in my social circle it's the opposite. no one cares about the ceremony, they just care about the reception.

to the OP, this is normal and done by a lot of people. do what you like.

MyNameIsNot · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ceremony-reception-two-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:6832d2b2-bd8e-4340-b6cb-42bea7a00f51Post:24ada152-ae0b-4573-994c-cee9f5446285">Re: Ceremony and reception on two days?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ceremony and reception on two days? : ha, in my social circle it's the opposite. no one cares about the ceremony, they just care about the reception.Posted by pooh8402[/QUOTE]

I thought this too. One of my cousins wanted to do a super small private ceremony followed by a big reception (on the same day). Everyone was upset about it and said they weren't going to travel if they couldn't come to the actual wedding.

I thought they were nuts, but I've read a lot of the same sentiment on the board. People actually do want to come to your wedding because they want to see you get married. They enjoy the party, of course, but they aren't as interested in if they aren't invited to the actual wedding.

danieliza1127 · December 2009

I think it's fine as long as you at least take immediate family that come to the ceremony out to dinner or something after the ceremony.

duckie1905 · December 2009

Personally, I see no point in attending the reception if I didn't make the ceremony cut. Some, including me, actually view the ceremony as the important part of the day.

liz745 · December 2009

Its true some people may not come to the reception because they werent invited to the ceremony, however alot of people understand having a small private ceremony with a large reception. All of my friends who have gotten married so far have invited pretty much everyone to the reception only (religious reasons, only mormons can go in the temple and even then the room where the ceremony takes place could hold maybe 25 people) and guess what we still went! Because people who are your friends and love you will want to celebrate your new marriage with you. OOT guests probably would not make the trip though. But you never know!!

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · December 2009

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ceremony-reception-two-days?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:6832d2b2-bd8e-4340-b6cb-42bea7a00f51Post:2b8cf515-f640-459c-840f-79ab34a8ffd4">Re: Ceremony and reception on two days?</a>:
[QUOTE]Its true some people may not come to the reception because they werent invited to the ceremony, however alot of people understand having a small private ceremony with a large reception. All of my friends who have gotten married so far have invited pretty much everyone to the reception only (religious reasons, only mormons can go in the temple and even then the room where the ceremony takes place could hold maybe 25 people) and guess what we still went! Because people who are your friends and love you will want to celebrate your new marriage with you. OOT guests probably would not make the trip though. But you never know!!
Posted by liz745[/QUOTE]

That's not a choice, though, really. I would totally understand if I couldn't attend the ceremony, since I'm not LDS, but the bride here is making a choice to exclude people when she doesn't really need to.

It would depend on the circumstances and the location of the reception, as to whether or not I'd attend.

liz745 · December 2009

True it is a different situation. I would assume that OOT guests wouldnt make the effort just for the reception (I know I wouldnt) but people who didnt have to travel or anything would probably show up.

There probably isnt a benfit of doing it that way. Personally I think it would be better to have the ceremony and the reception the same day and invite everyone to both. But if she insists on doing it that way she would just have to accept that some people wont come, but its not that uncommon.

happygirl38 · December 2009

Wow, my first post to a Knot board!

I feel pretty strongly on this one because we're doing the small ceremony (immediate family only) on one day and a big reception/party/picnic/celebration the next day. Do what YOU want. If you want to do it on two separate weekends, DO IT!!!

The only caveat is this: if your number one priority is having everyone there, consider what everyone else here has said and do it on the same day.

What I mean by that is, for example, we really wanted to get married on a beach somewhere (we're from the midwest, so this would require travel). But not all of our immediate family can afford to travel and it's MORE important to us that they're there. So we're getting married locally.

Will some people choose not to come to your reception because they weren't invited to the wedding? Perhaps. But maybe you could make a fun weekend of it with other things to do with your guests, like take in a local zoo, museum, etc. Anyway, decide what's important to you and make yourselves happy. If you try to make everyone else happy you'll make yourselves miserable in the process!

Good luck with your plans and happy wedding!!!!

WeddingWishes26 · December 2009

We're doing this, getting married and having an open reception back home two weeks later (we were going to do it one week later, but I think that will be too stressful).

We just cannot financially afford 100 more plates of dinner for people who are not in our day to day lives, its ridiculous. So we will be inviting everyone who we couldn't take to tahoe (ie work friends, distant relatives, parents of friends, friends of parents, etc) to an open house reception in FIs hometown. Most of our friends know about this already since they keep asking about wedding plans. So I don't think we'll offend anyone.

I did think about the gift thing, I didnt want people to feel they were obligated to bring gifts, so I thought we'd include something about them not having to on their invites, havent decided yet...bc I know they all will anyhow.

In the long run, if it's what you want, it's what you want and if a thousand people come they come, if two people come, they come...it's about you and FI celebrating, not everyone else. Don't hold back for other poeple, bc most likely, they wouldn't do it for you....

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