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Just Engaged and Proposals
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Engagement Party ? If I am planning it, paying for it, do i have to invite the WHOLE Shibang??

untamed13untamed13 member
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in Just Engaged and Proposals
So my family is huge! My fiances family consists of 3. only bc he is not that close to most of the rest.
We are considering having the engagement party at a resturant bc we do not have a large house to have a party. Now the question is :
If we are paying, is it ok to invite just the immediate family? (mom/dad/grandparents) because I have a delimma that I have three sets of grandparents, two sets of parents, and three siblings, one with a husband. So, thats already 19.
Then, if the answer is no you need to invite close friends also, then it goes up to 30.
And if the extended family should be invited then, crap that takes us up to 50! Which would make me consider another venue. 
I just dont want to spend to much money on the before wedding parties nor do I want someone to feel left out.
Thanks for helping out a newly engaged girl. :)
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Re: Engagement Party ? If I am planning it, paying for it, do i have to invite the WHOLE Shibang??

  • ootmother2ootmother2 member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    It's poor etiquette to host your own engagement party or any other party in your honor
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  • coolwhipz1coolwhipz1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    agree w/ ootmother
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  • emeejeeayenemeejeeayen member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Maybe just get the two immediate families together to celebrate. People are going to say "don't call it an engagement party," but I'm not a fan of arguing semantics. The primary issue is that the focus should be on uniting two families rather than celebrating/honoring the two of you.
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  • tiny specktiny speck member
    1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I'd have to agree that you really shouldn't be throwing an engagement party for yourself. If someone else (a friend, family member, whoever) offers to throw one for you, that's great, but don't do it yourself. If on the other hand you just want to hang out with your closest friends and family one day or evening for a casual get together like a bbq in your own backyard or a nearby park (with no mention of engagement/wedding or formal invitations), I would say that's fine to initiate yourself.
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  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Another vote for "Don't throw your own engagement party". It's rude.

    If somebody offers to throw one for you, worry about the guest list then.

    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
    image

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  • GoodLuckBear14GoodLuckBear14 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Another vote for if you are hosting this yourself, do not call it an engagement party.  Invite your immediate families for a dinner or lunch but don't say anything more than we wanted to spend some time with the families and let them get to know eachother better.
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
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  • arendivaarendiva member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I think it's perfectly fine to gather the two immediate families together to meet each other. I probably would call it an engagement party. I think calling it a family dinner would be nice and totally appropriate. If your families have never met each other before you could call it an introduction dinner. Make the focus on uniting the families rather than on the bride and groom and I think you will be in safe ettiquette waters. I'm sure this goes without saying but if you are throwing the party don't expect or even desire gifts. If anyone asks you about a registry just mention that this is really just a dinner to join the families.
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  • untamed13untamed13 member
    First Comment
    Thank you for your insite. It helps ease some questions. In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_engagement-party-if-i-am-planning-it-paying-for-it-do-i-have-to-invite-the-whole-shibang?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:683Discussion:871172fc-586f-4ac0-b74b-aad36aa6eba6Post:1cdc972c-d2e1-40e8-9b1a-01cb30703c07">Re: Engagement Party ? If I am planning it, paying for it, do i have to invite the WHOLE Shibang??</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's poor etiquette to host your own engagement party or any other party in your honor
    Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
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